u/girltheftauto

my sp and i met on a dating app. despite the fact that we are long distance we fostered an extremely special connection. in the beginning, he was the epitome of everything i wanted in a partner down to our commonality, his intricacies, and treatment towards me. he once abruptly said mid conversation that he really liked me and i made him really happy whenever i talked to him. we didn’t have a proper conversation about actually becoming something since it was so early, but things he would say indicated that he wanted and saw potential for it.

however, the more i fell for him, the more i feared the lack of direction / exclusivity between us, and if it would be temporary after all. soon after, he started reflecting my fears, grew distant, entertained 3ps, and friendzoned me, saying i didn’t evoke the feelings of overwhelming happiness he was looking for. he said i had a lot of qualities he wanted, but he wasn’t reacting the way he should. i was devastated.

after a bit of no contact we started talking again. our interactions were sporadic and very low effort. he was still entertaining 3ps from the dating app and would talk to me about them whenever we would, or how he missed his ex.

after a month of sats and affirmation tapes he abruptly started texting me every day. our conversations had the depth and flow of ones from before if not even more. he would even spam me while i was sleeping to rant about any epiphanies he had. he would ask to call, watch movies, and play games together. he said he was done with all of his romantic pursuits and that i happened to be the person he was most comfortable talking to. that he was really content with me and didn’t need to invite anymore trouble into his life. we started sexting again, which we hadn’t done since before he friendzoned me. he would even repeat some of my affirmations, telling me he trusted me a lot. it has been like this for a while, and the energy between us has felt like we were already in a relationship.

even though we have both been on vacation this past week, we would still text every single day, all day. it went without saying that we were the main person in each other’s lives. whenever he would do something unfavorable, i Would react, before letting go and persisting: he only has eyes for me, we are in a committed relationship, etc. whenever he texted me my subconscious would naturally signal that my boyfriend was texting me.

yesterday morning, however, he sent me screenshots of his texts with one of the 3ps that wouldn’t reciprocate his efforts and was giving him breadcrumbs. he was confronting her about this before she friendzoned him. his wording in his texts to her was almost verbatim what i said in my confrontation with him, when he was distant and friendzoned me, down to my vocabulary and everything. i thought he wasn’t in contact with her anymore, but here he was so willing to pursue her, unlike with me. i was very upset and exhibited it. he said he thought him and i were just friends enjoying each other’s company for the time being and that we’d eventually diverge when we got into serious relationships with other people. i put my foot down and said i could not accept nor did i deserve being reduced to a temporary friend with benefits anymore, because i had feelings for him and wanted longevity. he said he understood and it was my call to stay in contact or not. i said “your loss” and that was that.

we obviously haven’t been in contact since this conversation but still have each other on all of our socials. he has liked one of my tiktoks (a fancam i took of my idol) last night even after all of this happened.

i’m not going to give up but i feel like i was about to reach the top of the stairs only to get pushed all the way back down. i really thought things were shifting towards us becoming committed and was more than confident that he had feelings for me. i feel stuck because i can’t just ignore this, and if i affirm in my favor like “oh he just doesn’t wanna commit because he loves me too much and risking losing me would be the biggest loss of his life” i feel like it’s just going to give me more of that circumstance. i don’t know what to do or what i have to change. i know there’s nothing TO do if you’re actually living in the end but it’s so fucking irritating because i’ve really been embodying the state more than i ever have, and things have really been clicking only for him to appear this way. i am clearly doing something wrong if this is happening and idk what 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

my sp and i met on a dating app. despite the fact that we are long distance we fostered an extremely special connection. in the beginning, he was the epitome of everything i wanted in a partner down to his intricacies and treatment towards me. he once abruptly said mid conversation that he really liked me and i made him really happy whenever i talked to him. we didn’t have a proper conversation about actually becoming something since it was so early, but things he would say indicated that he wanted and saw potential for it.

however, the more i fell for him, the more i feared the lack of direction / exclusivity between us, and if it would be temporary after all. soon after, he started reflecting my fears, grew distant, entertained 3ps, and friendzoned me, saying i didn’t evoke the feelings of overwhelming happiness he was looking for. he said i had a lot of qualities he wanted, but he wasn’t reacting the way he should. i was devastated.

after a bit of no contact we started talking again. our interactions were sporadic and very low effort. he was still entertaining 3ps from the dating app and would talk to me about them whenever we would, or how he missed his ex.

after a month of sats and affirmation tapes he abruptly started texting me every day. our conversations had the depth and flow of ones from before if not even more. he would even spam me while i was sleeping to rant about any epiphanies he had. he would ask to call, watch movies, and play games together. he said he was done with all of his romantic pursuits and that i happened to be the person he was most comfortable talking to. that he was really content with me and didn’t need to invite anymore trouble into his life. we started sexting again, which we hadn’t done since before he friendzoned me. he would even repeat some of my affirmations, telling me he trusted me a lot. it has been like this for a while. the energy between us is like we’re already in a relationship.

even though we have both been on vacation this past week, we would still text every single day, all day. it went without saying that we were the main person in each other’s lives. whenever he would do something unfavorable, i Would react, before letting go and persisting: he only has eyes for me, we are in a committed relationship, etc. whenever he texted me it would naturally read in my subconscious that my boyfriend was texting me.

yesterday morning, however, he sent me screenshots of his texts with one of the 3ps that wouldn’t reciprocate his efforts and was giving him breadcrumbs. he was confronting her about this before she friendzoned him. his wording in his texts to her was almost verbatim what i said in my confrontation with him, when he was distant and friendzoned me, down to my vocabulary and everything. i thought he wasn’t in contact with her anymore, but here he was so willing to pursue her, unlike with me. i was very upset and exhibited it. he said he thought him and i were just friends enjoying each other’s company for the time being and that we’d eventually diverge when we got into serious relationships with other people. i put my foot down and said i could not accept nor did i deserve being reduced to a friend with benefits anymore, because i had feelings for him. he said he understood and it was my call to stay in contact or not. i said “your loss” and that was that.

we obviously haven’t been in contact since this conversation but still have each other on all of our socials. he has liked one of my tiktoks (a fancam i took of my idol) last night even after all of this happened.

i’m not going to give up but i feel like i was about to reach the top of the stairs only to get pushed all the way down. i really thought things were shifting towards us becoming committed and was more than confident that he had feelings for me. i feel stuck because i can’t just ignore this, and if i affirm in my favor like “oh he just doesn’t wanna commit because he loves me too much and risking losing me would be the biggest loss of his life” i feel like it’s just going to give me more of that circumstance. i don’t know what to do or what i have to change. i know there’s nothing TO do if you’re actually living in the end but it’s so fucking irritating because i’ve really been embodying the state more than i ever have, and things have really been clicking only for him to appear this way. i am clearly doing something wrong if this is happening and idk what 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭