u/globalhawker

Hey ya’ll. I (23F) have ADHD and have been medicated for that for years, but have always had a hard time being aware of/accepting my depression and anxiety. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while, which helps a little, but I’ve always been very avoidant of taking SSRIs for a reason which I can’t quite name.

I’ve also been a heavy cannabis user since 2020, (self-medicating obviously) and have developed a pretty severe SUD over those years. I have been desperately trying to control my use and/or quit entirely for the past 3 years, but I just keep relapsing. I know many may find this idea silly, as most people just do not get addicted to weed like I have, but IYKYK. It’s led to numerous serious consequences for me, and by now has led to me isolating myself to the point that I could hardly hold a conversation with another or leave the house without my partner. My most recent relapse was a wake up call, and sent me into a depression that deteriorated into hopelessness and suicidal ideation very quickly, quicker than ever before.

So I finally, reluctantly, tried Lexapro. I am currently on Day 7 of just 5mg and the relief that I feel is unbelievable. I’ve found myself being drawn to go outside and do my work in the sun. I’ve found myself having small exchanges with strangers, and walking away with a smile on my face. The feeling of constant anxiety in my chest and legs is getting better every day, and almost gone now. My thoughts are being so much more friendly to me now. Just one week in! Like, what’s the catch?? Getting hot easily and waking up drenched in sweat? I’ll take it!

In conjunction with Lexapro, I’ve also recently sought group support for the weed stuff, which has also helped my mood and motivation to quit. Without Lexapro, I’d be too anxious to keep going, but I look forward to it now. I’ve been able to taper down and stop with hardly any issues compared to in past. Just the regular old difficulty sleeping/nausea - which I can hardly differentiate from side effects of the meds, and it’s totally manageable. I am now on Day 4 of no weed, and it’s been a breeze compared to before.

I know I’ve still got a long road ahead, but I’m just so excited about the relief that I feel. I had no idea how low my baseline mood and anxiety had become these past few years, and that one little pill could be so effective in making me feel human. I haven’t felt peace in so long, and I feel it more and more each day. This subreddit helped me work up the courage to try it, and I’m just so so grateful. Thank you everybody, and here’s to making hard choices for ourselves to live more manageable, happier lives! :)

Hey ya’ll. New here, but I’ve been picking at my pores for years. I used to pick for hours at a time, and it definitely used to be a huge insecurity and source of shame for me when I was younger, but much less so as I’ve grown.

From what I understand, the compulsion to pick usually comes from feeling anxious or distressed and the dopamine reward from the compulsion helps relieve it.

For me though, it’s always felt more “fun” than calming. I have ADHD and often feel restless and bored due to the lower baseline of dopamine. I don’t tend to pick when I’m anxious or distressed but I do feel that picking is something that sends me into a state of hyper focus and excitement. Like when you’re playing a video game and you just can’t stop. Just one more. And one more. Oh it’s so fun, just one more.

Maybe the dopamine does regulate me in a sense, but I’ve never related to picking to quell my anxiety. And I definitely do deal with a lot of anxiety. It usually just starts with me seeing or feeling a bump and then not being able to stop myself from having a field day! I’m wondering how many others relate.