u/goonsimulator

You're my best friend, probably honestly the only true friend I have ever made despite all the people I know and call friends. Almost 6 years since I've met you, and I wouldn't take a second of that time back. I know we had our chance, we blew it. I think we may have rushed into it and it freaked you out. We ended up as friends ever since though, but I feel like you feel the same. Now we're both in a situation where we can't try anymore. But do you ever think about how things could've been for us? I'm doing everything in my power to just try not to be in love with you, I really am. I value your happiness over mine and I would never take yours away. But what if? I'll never stop thinking about you and what we could've been A. You're still in my life and every time I see you it lights up my world

You mean the world to me. I wish you felt the same about me, it's been almost 5 years together and I wouldn't trade it for the world, I am so happy emotionally in this relationship and I don't have any idea what I would do without you. But how can we wake up next to each other, go to sleep next to each other, play games with each other, go out with each other, and so much more, to never make love, or really anything physical with eachother? Maybe it's because I'm a man, but it's a physical need and it weighs on my self esteem, despite all the communication and efforts I've made to work together with you on this, It's been over a year, before that it was over a year, and I don't know how you can do this, it's slowly tearing me apart and I feel like such an asshole because of it. I love you, I don't want to be without you ever, but I can't keep doing it cause I know I will end up hurting you. It hurts me so much and it's gotten to the point now where it matters too much to not say anything about it. I try to hold you close, try to feel your touch, but nothing I do is or will be good enough to make you feel like that. I love you j and I want to be with you forever, this makes me feel so many complicated emotions and I just hope this changes because I can't do it forever and it just about inadvertently makes me want to be with a female friend because I feel more of a physical connection there, I hate this.

I love you, please do something. - J