u/gothicherrys

EDIT: breaking up was an overreaction im more just rethinking!!!

hey everyone on here ! im (18F) not sure if this is the right place to go or if im allowed to be saying something like this on here, but i am very leftist. i do not support the government and the state of this country right now, and so with that its hard to support the military knowing theyre fighting under this regime. My boyfriend (18M) is currently in basic training, he also shares left political views with me but calls himself independent. he signed his contract when he was 17 and part of it was to get away from his terrible parents, before he left for training he started saying he honestly doesnt wanna do it but obviously cant get out of it now. i love him and want to support him but its difficult when his job and career is the opposite of what i stand for… its causing me to think about breaking up, has anyone had this issue and how to cope?

So i’ll start this by saying we are long distance because hes currently in army basic training, and as of right now i havent heard from him but no biggie as mail can take awhile. We’ve been together for almost 9 months now and our relationship has been great and hes never treated me bad. However, he has a friend who im not the biggest fan of, shes made weird comments about me and some other things and because of this he doesnt talk to her much but theyre still civil and personally i wouldnt want him to fully cut off any of his friends. About a week before he went to training we were out and he got a text on his phone and when i glanced over i could tell its been awhile since they last texted, i asked who it was and he said oh nothing, to which i thought was weird because he always tells me everything, when i asked again he got defensive and said his grandma, i immediately called him out and said no it wasnt because i know what your grandmas contact looks like and that wasnt it. After saying this he immediately told me it was the friend and he didnt wanna tell me because he knows i dont like her and didnt wanna upset me that she texted him but that the text was asking how he feels about leaving soon.

I was really upset he would lie to me (or try?) and told him im not bothered that she texted him im bothered that he wanted to hide it from me because if he was honest i wouldnt have cared. Now that he’s away ive been overthinking like crazy about if hes ever lied to me in the past and i didnt know, or what if he does it again, etc. i also do struggle with relationship ocd because of my past so that might matter to take into account. just looking for any advice.