u/gothpianist922

bacon egg and cheese because i ran out of egg. lactose free milk.

was friends with some guys and used to hang out and jam sesh. stopped going when i got busy doing other things.

later the approached me and asked me to play for real with them. I joined their band and played bass.

Started good but there were tensions. I have a serious drinking problem and started drinking before practice to settle my nerves.

bandleader had been writing all our music sans one song i did. he basically told the other guy (who complained a lot about wanting to do HIS music) "then i wont write anything anymore, all you"

his music fucking sucked and was so repetitive id get bored. He wouldn't know the key or bpm or anything and would just play chords and it made it annoying as hell to write my own basslines.

i guess i was being pissy about it because on a drive home from a practice session two guys went off on me for how i was acting and it resulted in me crying out of guilt.

They basically told me "take a break" for a bit until i felt better. I texted the band leader saying "i might wanna wait a little longer" because at the time my little brother had just been kidnapped.

he texted me back saying "for the best, good luck!" and that was that. now im still "friends" with 2/4 of the other members (mutuals on instagram and see them irl). but theyre always posting about the band and they keep getting bigger and bigger shows.

fuck this. im sick of this. i had one thing i liked and i fucking ruined it and ill never have jt back because theyre clearly happier and more successful without me.

im useless.

thanks.