u/green_analyst1507

I’m fully aware that an experience one person finds manageable can be extremely traumatic to another person. I am curious though as to why these variabilities exist, if that makes sense? Are there specific protective factors that prevent it developing despite having gone through many childhood traumatic events? Or additional factors that contribute to (obviously valid) trauma that is considered “small” by some?

If anyone knows the answer or has an idea please let me know

Not much to say, other than my nausea, fullness and weight loss has began to negatively affect the way I think. I’ve reached an unhealthy weight, but now I find myself counting calories. It started with the nausea putting me off quantities of food, to thinking about it before I’ve eaten. Even though I try and eat caloric food, I feel guilty and that I should be eating “healthy”. I find myself thinking that maybe I don’t eat too little, I was just out of control before and this disease only showed it to me. I feel less dysphoric at my current body weight, and don’t want that to “revert”.

This body is so much more fatigued and malnourished and I want it to get better, yet the longer I can’t eat well the stronger these thoughts become and I don’t want them to turn into disordered eating again. I’m concerned about telling a psychiatrist incase they start to believe my physical health issues are all psychological and therefore never get help for them. Same with my gastroenterologist. I don’t want them to think I’m lying that I physically struggle to eat.

This is just a rant. I was just wondering if anybody else has had this experience, and have any tips to start fixing it before it goes too far?

I haven’t gotten my official grading back but my average over my course is 67%, which is a 2:1. I am very glad that I achieved this because it means I can do my masters course. I’m fully aware this is a great grade. However, there’s a part of me that’s really disappointed in myself. I had a lot of mental health struggles and fatigue over the last two years and it shows in my work. I had unmediated adhd due to prescription issues for most of it too. I’m doing a bit better mentally now but it just makes me sad at what I could’ve done, especially as it’s a medium/high 2:1 classification. I know this is stupid. A 2:1 doesn’t restrict me academically and I’m proud I managed to get it all things considered, but I’ve been hearing a lot of people express disappointment or “being done for” for getting a 2:1 and it makes me think I’m not holding myself to a high enough standard or that my time at uni has been wasted or something. It’s the knowledge that I know I could have done better, as egotistical as that sounds. Does anyone else feel this way? I hope I don’t just sound ungrateful lmao