u/greenery14

Hi all, I wanted to get some views on this.

My son is in Reception. Last term, the children baked some Easter cookies in class. It didn’t occur to me that the dough contained dairy and eggs until he brought home his - which was clearly a special vegan one that the school provides. The pictures of the activity showed him participating in the non-vegan baking (rolling the dough and such).

This didn’t sit right with me. Weeks later, it still doesn’t. Veganism isn’t just about eating; it’s also about handling animal products. I’m sure the school wouldn’t ask a Muslim child to cook dead pigs, for example.

If this were your child, would this make you uncomfortable?

Thanks for your thoughts.

Edit: rephrased question for clarity.

My husband (45 french) and I (39 Singaporean) live in the UK with our son (5 British). Long story short, after me flippantly and somewhat reluctantly saying, in January, it was okay for my husband to apply for a job in Singapore, we’re now awaiting the processing of his work visa.

Some context: I left Singapore more than 10 years ago. My husband and I met in the UK and settled into a life together when our son was born. Singapore has compulsory military service (2 years) for males and they are strict about it, I.e. no conscientious objection, no civilian service. The reason I didn’t register my son’s birth with Singapore was that I didn’t want him to be liable for military service or to ever get into trouble for not answering the draft. That aside, in all our conversations about relocating to Singapore, I’ve always said I don’t want to move for a myriad of reasons.

My husband feels his UK job isn’t secure and he basically hates it. This Singapore job is in his wheelhouse and it excites him. It pays better than the UK job but it’s not enough for us to live comfortably.

My job in the UK, although mundane, pays relatively well and it gives me amazing work-life balance. It is secure for now but I guess this is never guaranteed. It’d be hard for me to leave it and find something else because the sector I work in is in shambles at the moment.

We also own a house in the UK. We’d need to rent in Singapore if we move.

I’ve recently fully thought through the consequences for my son if we permanently move to Singapore. Either he becomes a citizen and is liable for military service, or he remains a foreigner in a place he thinks is his home but which he may not be able to live in the future due to his uncertain immigration status. If the latter, he’d have no ‘home’ to return to because he would’ve lost all ties with the UK. Given this, it feels like if we move now, we’re effectively choosing a certain route for him—the compulsory military service route, as it’s the most certain way to have firm legal status in Singapore.

My question: am I crazy for drawing the line at military service? For me, it’s a deal breaker. It’s two years of his life. On the other hand…is two years that big of a deal? My gut tells me this isn’t in his best interest. But maybe I’m just blinkered by my absolute unwillingness to move back to Singapore.

Thanks for your thoughts.