u/grumpypoo22

Good morning!

Today I want to discuss the DBT Skill "DEAR MAN"

I was taught this pretty early on with DBT, but never really found a proper chance to use it.
I actually recently had a great chance to use this skill and overall it was pretty effective; At least I think that it was effective.

To set the stage my girlfriend and I had a day planned with some potential schedule overlapping.
To give a very brief summary of what transpired -
Basically I had some things to do in the morning and she did as well.
These two had the potential to completely overlap if I wasn't fast with what I needed to do.
I took a break from what I needed, but she didn't recognize that is what I was doing.
Then there is another overlap next week between two things we need to do, but I communicated mine far in advance and she forgot she needed to do something.

So with the first issue when I was finally done with everything she came across as accusatory towards me.
Basically "you said x" and "you did y".
This put me in a defensive state, because wdym? I intentionally did everything I said I was going to and it was YOU that didn't do your part when I took that break.
Now I could've had better communication, but I digress.

The second issue - A week or so ago I told her that next Monday I have to do something at noon. It can take up to 3 hours to get it done and I asked her if this was fine. She confirmed it was and all was happy in the world. Yesterday she informs me that she has something at the same exact time. Obviously this is now a conflict, because well I have something as well.

We are currently sharing my car, because her car is out of commission atm due to a wreck. So this is why these scheduling conflicts are important to navigate together.

I shockingly ended up having a DBT session yesterday right at the moment of all this tenseness - So it worked out.
My therapist reminded me of "DEAR MAN" and we practiced how I would approach it and how it would work.

So what is "DEAR MAN"?
I like to think of "DEAR MAN" as a way to assert yourself in a situation without becoming hostile or a doormat.

D - Describe the situation -

• Yesterday we had a lot of tension because of overlapping schedules.

E - Express your emotions -

• This made me feel like I was being blamed for the overlap even tho I felt like I was working extremely hard to be flexible in that situation.

A - Assert what you want -

• I do not want there to be any accusatory statements towards me whenever you're frustrated about things. It's okay to be upset, but I really want you to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements.

R - Reward -

• As long as there isn't any accusations thrown around I am able to maintain my composure and not get dysregulated. This will help us both have a much easier time communicating and solving the problems as a team instead of as enemies.

I don't really use the "MAN" portion, because a well-articulated "DEAR" can encapsulate "MAN" by itself imo.
In that moment yesterday I genuinely just wanted to run away.
I felt like I was being attacked for something I literally didn't do and it felt unfair.
So my knee-jerk in that moment is to just bounce, because fk it.
My therapist ultimately helped guide me to instead assert myself.

The outcome was one that worked for both of us and brought the communication back to a neutral place. Which now we can actually work together on things instead of me shutting down or her shutting down.

I've recommended "DEAR MAN" a few times on here, but here is a live example of how I executed it and the ultimate outcome.

I'm not sure about those of you with BPD or partners who have BPD, but recently I've come to discover that I'm incredibly prone to fleeing during uncomfortable conflicts.
To be honest, I didn't even necessarily realize I was uncomfortable to begin with.
I had just always assumed that's how I reacted.

What I mean by that is there isn't this feeling that I have where I'm like "eww I don't like this".
I actually end up feeling I guess numb.

Anywho during my weekly DBT I was going over some recent conflicts and stuff.
We discovered that basically at the first sign of potential conflict my brain goes offline.
Which then numbs my body and my solution is always "Aight imma head out".
It was very interesting insight into myself, because in a sense yea that's right.
I've come to learn over these past couple years that a lot of the times I don't necessarily know what I am feeling.
Like sure I feel anger and stuff, but I don't understand the where.

I was also given some pretty good advice of using "I" statements.
I know I could be better about this and I try to be cognizant of what I am saying.
I'm of the belief everyone in the world could probably do better with using "I" statements instead of "you" statements.
Sort of helps diffuse the bomb, before it even has a chance.

Regardless -
My girlfriend is pretty rock solid.
I don't declare I'm leaving or anything like that, but when I start to get wound up she does really well.
To be clear tho - I'm not verbally chastising her or anything.
These days when I get wound up I just get tense and start to ramble.

I thought it was interesting to learn about myself.
One of the things I like to do when I start to feel whatever is assess the "mood wheel chart".
It's really helped me and maybe it'll help you/your partner.

Good morning!

Today I want to talk about the DBT Skill Chain Analysis

This was one of the very first DBT Skills that I learned and it's basically exactly what it says.
The way that I deploy this skill is so I can analyze a chain of events and identify the emotion + what might've actually triggered me.
It's, in my opinion, a pretty basic skill but it has its use in my every day life.

Let's go over an example of how I've deployed this in the past.

Situation: I suddenly feel like I need to leave my relationship.

Let's analyze everything and determine *why* I might be feeling this way.

• I get home from work
• I'm laying in bed and doom scrolling
• Cat starts to aggravate me
• Cat decides to pee on my shoulder
• I'm furious
• Suddenly feel like world is collapsing
• I feel like I need to pack everything and leave

So we can tell from this situation that I was sort of doing my own thing and then started to get annoyed by a cat bothering me.
I was likely getting over stimulated by this.
To add insult to injury then the cat decides to pee on my shoulder
This, like it would to anyone, infuriated me.

Most people would stop here, but my brain kept running with it.
I would've never gotten peed on if I was in this relationship.
Therefore it must be the relationships fault.
The only solution to never get peed on again is to leave the relationship.

Sounds silly right?
That's because it is, but it's how my brain starts to connect dots.

So using that skill we can tell I was aggravated.
Now in the future I can recognize when I get aggravated I might feel like a solution is to leave.
So I can circumvent that and deploy a distress tolerance skill before hand.

Anywho -
Shorter post over this, but I'm more than happy to provide more examples if you'd like!

Hello everyone!

I've noticed over the past few days a lot of the topic has been around the push/pull cycle that is often associated with BPD.
This seems like a great time to explain what it might be like from your partners point of view.
Though do remember we are all individual humans with our own thought processes etc.

So what did a push/pull cycle look like with me?
It usually all started over something fairly innocent.
It could be a delay in text, a shift in tone, me being tired or hungry etc.
The point is it usually wasn't anything my partner necessarily did wrong.

This would trigger one question in my brain that quickly spiraled "Why?".
Then I would casually start filling in the blanks -
Let's assume it was a shift in tone.

• Why did their tone shift?
• Are they mad at me?
• They must be mad because they only talk like that when they are mad
• I didn't even do anything jesus
• If they are going to just randomly get mad at me they must have issues
• I thought they cared about me
• Don't they see all the things I do for them?
• They clearly don't care about me

Once that last bullet point gets hit the rollercoaster begins.
I have two possible things that I will do about this -

• I will cling harder than ever before, because "don't leave me"
• I will go completely silent

If I cling I'm hyper-analyzing every singular reaction.

• How hard am I being squeezed when I hug?
• Do their pupils dilate when they look at me?
• Are they giving me a passionate kiss or is it just to appease me?

Now if I go silent I am man enough to admit I'm hoping my partner will notice and show me they love me.
Who realistically doesn't want to be desired, but it's also important to note that the moment they do that I will think they are smothering me.

Regardless of if I cling or dip - It's a lose/lose situation.
That's because the problem is not with them; It's with me.

So what's the best way to play that situation?
It's to not feed that fire at all regardless, because it creates this feedback loop.
I feel unwanted which used to cause me to overreact.
If I then suddenly feel wanted because of that overreaction it reinforces in my brain that the reaction was the reason.
So now when I feel unwanted again I will simply do the same thing.

It's incredibly immature, but I've grown a lot via DBT and medication.

For my BPD friends -
I still have those reactions internally.
That hasn't gone away at all, but I'm no longer projecting them outward.
I'm able to realize what's about to happen and pull myself back off the edge so I can calm down to the point I can articulate how I feel.

For my non-BPD friends -
I'm not a professional.
I'm just a guy that has BPD and is navigating this world as best I can.
Your partner may very well be 100% different than me, but my hope with this is that it gives you some insight into my mind so maybe you can make a somewhat informed decision as you deal with your own issues.

Hello!

The DBT Skill I want to talk about is called "Check the Facts"

So what is Check the Facts?
Check the facts is a skill that was taught to me to do exactly like it says.
You "check the facts" of a situation.
With BPD it's incredibly easy to let our emotions take over the "wise mind".
Then emotions start to cloud judgement and you can very quickly spiral out of control.

Some Examples of how I've used "Check the Facts"
Back when my girlfriend and I first started dating I would have this impending sense of doom she was about to cut it off with me.
There was no reason for this, but I constantly felt like it was about to happen.
So to negate this my therapist introduced me to this DBT skill.

For me, I apply it like a little table with two columns.
"Arguments for" and "Arguments against".
For anything to go in the "Arguments for" column it must be grounded in reality with tangible proof.
With the "Arguments against" it must also be grounded in reality.

So circling back to earlier it might look something like this -
"This girl is about to cut all contact with me, because she doesn't like me"

Arguments For	Arguments Against
	She texts me everyday
	She engages with me even when the conversation starts to lull
	She is engaged when we do meet up and seems present

From that table I have no grounded reason to believe that she is about to do that.
So we can presume that our "emotional mind" has taken over and it's time to reintroduce the "wise mind" into the equation.

This didn't necessarily stop the feeling, but it did give me comfort in realizing that I was likely creating scenarios and then projecting them.

If you made it this far - You're awesome. If you have any questions, let me know!

Good evening!

BPD Partners, what is one question you would like answered by someone with BPD?
I know the usual is going to be "How can I help", but i'm curious about any other questions y'all may have.

I'm not oblivious to the fact that sometimes a BPD episode can be a bit intense; To put it nicely.

I think it's important that those of us with BPD do the work to learn how to catch those spirals before they get out of control. It's not fair to our partners and affects them far more than we realize.

Anywho -
Here are the things that my partner does that I enjoy when i'm splitting

• Not reacting and remaining calm
  I think it's important to note here that i'm not verbally attacking her. I have no desire to hurt her feelings to try and get her to understand that i'm hurt.

• Lets me vent without judgement.
  She doesn't justify the wacky thoughts, but she will listen to them and let me say what I need to.

• Gives me space when I need it.
  Sometimes I need a moment to compose myself and it's difficult for me to do if i'm being bombarded with questions or even noise. So the fact that she will let me "retreat" for a moment really helps.

These are the big 3, but let's get into what previous partners did that did not work.

• Force me to talk
  Whenever I would start to spin a previous girlfriend would attempt to get me to open up. To non-BPD folks this is obvious. We should lean on those that care right? To me it would force me to get more silent, because I already felt judged.

• Shrug off my wild feelings
  This is a quick way to get me to be completely silent. The instant I try to open up and i'm shrugged off, I can never let that go. It's almost like breaking my trust in a way. I just can't forget that it happened.

• Call me crazy
  This is a very fast way for me to show you actual crazy. I don't like getting upset, because I know how volatile I can get. However, once I'm upset and you call me crazy? Buckle up, because you're about to see crazy for real.

It's important to note here that I'm actively taking medication and in DBT therapy. So, your milage may vary.
I'm interested to know from BPD folks what works with you and Non-BPD folks what you've found that works.

Whether you have BPD or you support someone with BPD I think it would be a cool idea to start sharing some of the DBT Skills I use to manage crisis.

The very first skill I want to touch on is "TIPP".
This was the very first DBT skill that was taught to me and actually made any difference.

So what is TIPP?

• T: Temperature
• I: Intense Exercise
• P: Paced Breathing
• P: Progressive muscle relaxation

Temperature
This would involve getting something ice cold to shock your nervous system.
I personally like to get ice and hold it on my chest.
If ice is unavailable, then finding the nearest sink and turning on cold water while sticking my hands in it and splashing my face.

Intense Exercise
This is pretty self explanatory, but just intense exercise.
Do some jumping jacks, do push-ups, do sit-ups or whatever you can to get your heart pumping.

Paced Breathing
A lot of people practice this already, but I also like to pair it with the next "P" as well.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This involves tensing up a muscle group and slowly releasing it - This is best paired with "paced breathing".
A example of how I might do this and squeeze my hands on an inhale and slowly exhale while releasing my hands.

Some examples of this skill and how it mitigated an incoming crisis
One evening my girlfriend had just come home from work. We were sitting on the bed talking and I made my voice sound all funny. I suddenly became hyper-fixated on the fact that my girlfriend did not think it was funny. So, my brain immediately jumped to "you messed up". I start to panic, but overall I'm keeping enough composure I don't think I necessarily need to use any skills.

We leave, because we need to go run some errands. While out my reality starts to bend and shift. I no longer feel real and everything around me feels fake. The best way to describe it is like I was on the Truman show. I am suddenly hyper-aware of everything and every little muscle twitch. At this time I tell her I think I'm starting to disassociate.

We get home and as she goes to open the door it's locked. She lets out a sigh and this is the moment I break. I tell her I'm sorry I locked the door and I genuinely feared I was about to be left over this. My mind starts searching for solutions and I was ready to throw my phone in the pool (we use smart locks) so I could never lock the door again.

This was the moment I realized I had passed the threshold and it was time to use a distress tolerance skill, because I was about to crash out.
So we get inside and I make a bee line towards the bedroom. I lay in the bed cover my face and use both "P"'s in "TIPP". It took a minute to come back down to earth, but once I was there I was able to deploy another skill as well. We talked about what just happened and at this point I was fine so I was giggling, because "wow".

Why did the skill work?
It forced me to focus on something else. It stopped me from being so fixated on the fact I felt like I was going to be left over locking a door. I know that sounds absurd, but to me that was genuinely what was about to happen.

If you are wanting to help you partner in a situation like this they need to understand what "TIPP" is and how to successfully use. I recommend giving them this to read. The "T" is the fastest, but both "P" paired together work great. I've never used "I", so I cannot speak to its benefit.

If you made it this far - You're awesome.
If you have any questions, let me know!

Hello everyone!

I wanted to take some time to share with you my vision of what this community is for, so nobody gets any misunderstanding.

I created this community as a way to bridge that gap between BPD Partners and Non-BPD partners.
Basically, I'm wanting to create a safe space where someone without BPD can come and seek advice, vent or whatever while someone with BPD can give some insight into how they might feel about whatever situation.
The same is true for the person with BPD. I want non-BPD members to be able to give their insight to those situations as well.

I think it would help us all reach a level of understanding.
Often times people will come here from a place of frustration or hurt and that's fine. You are allowed to vent and I actively encourage that. What you are not allowed to do however is say that "This is only because of BPD". No, people are responsible for their actions. Having a mental condition is zero excuse to behave inappropriately.

Furthermore, those of you that may have BPD - Using your disorder as a crutch is also not allowed. You must be willing to accept constructive criticism or advice.

With that - Please don't feel like you can't post here, because you're afraid someone will be toxic etc. I am lurking and will handle it promptly. You are always free to report things too and I encourage it! Toxicity explicitly goes against Rule #3.

As always if you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact us via mod mail

The purpose of this thread is to give some insight into why I crashed out in the past and where my head space was exactly. Maybe this will help you understand your partner or why you might crash out.

I suffer from BPD so I can be a bit more sensitive to things. One of my biggest triggers is getting disappointed. I was completely unaware of this in the past and it would manifest as anger/frustration.

So, my partner and I were out to dinner one evening at a restaurant.
She wanted chips and salsa so she ordered said chips and salsa. We get our food and everything is going fine. The check comes and boom I realize these chips and salsa are almost 10 bucks. Most people would look at that and go "aww man" then move on. Now me on the other hand I looked at that and suddenly felt like I was being taken advantage of. Not by the restaurant, but rather by my partner. So now I've split and my partner is only using me. I don't project this outwardly, but I do say we are never allowed to get chips and salsa again. In that moment the entire world felt like it was closing in on me and I needed to get away. Which in hindsight is really silly; We have gotten chips and salsa since then. I ended up discussing this with my therapist and like some of you reading she was baffled why I got so riled up over it. She did walk me through everything and then pointed out I was disappointed where we then discussed the skill "Radical Acceptance".

**So how did my partner handle this?**
She like anyone was more confused than anything why I was so upset. I mean don't get me wrong ~10 dollars for some chips and salsa are aggressive, but I did react a bit disproportionally given the circumstance.

For those that suffer with BPD -
Using TIPP + Radical Acceptance is a great way to mitigate that spiral.
Sometimes we can fixate on the wrong things, such as me thinking my partner was the root of the frustration. While yes she did order the chips and salsa; It was ultimately the restaurant and my own oblivious to the situation.

Good morning!

Today i'd like to give some insight to what you might experience dating someone with BPD based on the accounts of myself and my partner.
I understand that everyone's experiences will vary, but hopefully this gives you a glimpse into everything.

I am going to go over some questions I asked my partner and give my account plus my therapists advice based on any situations.

What is the most difficult situation we have faced?

• Partner: Sonicgate because you got aggressive

• To describe what "Sonicgate" is; We were at Sonic to get some ice cream, because I was feeling it after taking the kiddos to the park. When we got there, I wanted a Reese's blast and opted for a "large". Whenever they brought it out I realized that a "large" was actually a Route44 and I decided that was far too much ice cream. So I asked them to take it back, because they were trying to charge 10 bucks for it.

• My perspective: Whenever they first announced that the blast would cost 10 bucks I told my partner I was no longer interested in the blast, because that price is too much. She said we would wait for the carhop to get there. When the carhop arrives we ask why it cost so much and he just goes "that's how it is". So I tell my partner to have him take it back and give me a refund. At this moment I can feel the tension in the air so I start to get wound up. So he takes it back and I ask her for the return receipt incase I need to dispute with the bank. I don't feel like she hears me so I say it again as she is backing up. At this moment, to me it sounds like, she yells "I'm going to go get it". So all bets are off at this moment. She is angry and therefore now i'm angry. So she goes to get this receipt and when she gets back in the car I snap and tell her not to yell at me. It was a very quiet car ride after this while I mulled with the idea of leaving.

• My therapist take: She tells me it is very common for folks with BPD to become so hyper-fixated on things that we basically "quiet" the world around us. So it's very likely my partner was not yelling, but because everything was already tense I became so fixated on how she was behaving that to me it did sound like she was yelling.

• How did we remedy this: I sat down after therapy and apologized for my behavior and explained my side while listening to her side. I opted to never let that slip up again and instead will just ask whenever I feel like i'm getting yelled at to prevent a misunderstanding.

What is a pro to dating someone with BPD?

• Partner: The compassion you can show towards mental health.
• My perspective: Obviously everyone with BPD is different, but I do infact have a serious amount of empathy for anyone who suffers from any mental health issues. My partner has ADHD so I can be extremely understanding when her executive dysfunction comes to the surface. I try to remain as non-judgmental as possible, because I don't want anyone to judge me.

If anyone has any stories they would like to share i'd love to hear it. It's important to note that I am on medication and I do DBT Therapy. Experiences of those with raw BPD will vary MASSIVELY. If you have further questions you'd like to ask have at it and I will get my partners perspective on them as well.

You know the hardest part about having BPD and relationships is that constant nagging feeling that i'm doing everything wrong.

Sure I practice my DBT skills, but those feelings still exist. I've made strides and I am able to recognize that.
It's like you go online and we are an ostracized group. I get that some people are bad, but the stigma is super annoying. It makes me ashamed to even be me.

I so so bad just want to be normal more than anything.
I don't like getting super worried over every little thing

• Tones
• Late text
• Sudden plan changes
• The inability to say no to things
• The inability to speak up when I want things

This is what my therapy sessions are for, but you know the feelings are still there and they are loud. I didn't ask for this and if I could understand why my brain decided to develop this I would do what I could to reverse it. I'm doing the work currently, but it's like my therapist told me at the start "The feelings won't go away, but you'll be able to manage them". That statement struck me pretty hard. My kneejerk was to just give up, but i'm seeing it through. I don't know if I have something to prove or I just really want to change; Nobody knows at this point.

I quite often reflect on my past and there is a lot of shame. I've been a pretty toxic person, but it also didn't help I was involved with toxic people. I wonder if I helped create those very scenarios that drove me up the wall. It's like I didn't feel at home unless there was this looming threat of being left. Often times people would show interest in me and I would be repulsed by them, but then whenever someone jerked that interest away I couldn't live without them. The funny thing is my mind always goes to the same thing whenever someone likes me "if you knew me you'd hate me". Then I get stuck on "who even am I". The golden question right?

The moral of this - I don't know if anyone here has a tainted opinion on all of us with BPD, but it's important to remember we are humans too. Some humans are shitty. Some humans are wonderful.

Those people who support us in relationships - y'all are wonderful and i'm happy you exist.

Hello!

So a few years back I was involved in probably the most toxic relationship of my life. This person had become my "favorite person" so I was hanging on for absolute dear life. We were together for about 6 years and during that time we both were pretty bad for each other. Well near the end that person finally shared that they had been cheating on me for the entirety of the relationship. Suddenly my fear of abandonment kicked in and I proceeded to beg like no other to maintain the relationship. In hindsight that was pretty silly of me, but I digress.

I initially sought out therapy thinking of myself as the pure victim in that situation. I ended up dropping that therapist, because I felt like we weren't going anywhere with the sessions. Fast forward almost a year later and I found someone else who caught my eye. Queue the same exact pattern.

We get together and it is shared with me this person has BPD. I thought "oh boy this is going to be amazing!". It was not; We triggered each other fairly quick into that relationship. So I got left and proceeded to beg like no other, but this time I had a bit more dignity. I know begging is no dignity, but the feeling in my chest was extremely intense.

I got diagnosed with BPD many moons ago back in 2013?
I never went to get help with it, because I didn't think I needed it. It wasn't until that last relationship that I realized I need help, because i'm just repeating the same patterns over and over. So I finally accepted my diagnosis and got help.

I started with getting medication to level out my mood swings. While my medication doesn't stop the swings, it does ease it just enough for me to apply other things.
I then moved on to seeking out a DBT therapist. This is where the real change started to happen. I for one finally felt understood. I was no longer this madman running around that couldn't control himself.

I'm happy to report that now i've been in a relationship with a very loving person who shows me compassion and patience. I also am applying many of the DBT Skills I have learned. It still takes an earnest effort on my part, but day by day it gets easier.

When I first started DBT those skills -

• Felt silly
• Did not come naturally

Now I don't care if they feel silly.
TIPP has been the greatest thing for me in the world. It stops any spiral dead in its tracks. I have to pair it with other skills, but it at least lets me breathe.

All of this to say - DBT can and does work. It takes effort for sure, but with patience and effort positive change can happen.

I'm not sure what's going on but over the past few weeks i've noticed more and more users posting here violating the subreddit rules.
I've attempted to reach out to the mod team multiple times and even went as far as trying to r/redditrequest this place.

It seems like there is little to no enforcement anymore.
I'm aware I could be wrong and the mods are just enforcing different things, but the appearance is that of a non-active team.

So i've personally started my own subreddit for those interested. It's r/BPDPartnerSupport

I don't expect anyone here to join, but I figured i'd offer an alternative for those that also get triggered by Rule #8 violations.
Hopefully the mods eventually return for those of you that stay, but if not i'm fairly active.
If the mods do so happen to read this - I'm more than happy to share the Automod config I use to filter out certain subs cross posting, but you can also find it in the Wiki.

Thanks to this community for letting me add my insight and gaining others insight into the complex ride that is a BPD relationship.

Hey everyone welcome to r/BPDPartnerSupport

This is our new home for all things related to BPD Relationships and we are very excited to welcome you here!

What to Post
Please post anything related to BPD Relationships. Be it questions, venting or just success stories! We welcome anything related to BPD Relationships.

Rules
Please take a moment to read the rules and really digest them. If you have any questions related to the rules do not hesitate to reach out via Mod Mail.

Why did you create this?
I created this subreddit to help fill the void of an explicit subreddit about BPD Relationships where members with BPD can engage and contribute. It is rare with a topic about this where BPD members are allowed to contribute; So this subreddit is meant to facilitate that.

What's the goal of this?
The goal is for not only people who are involved with BPD to share their experiences, but people with BPD to share theirs as well. The idea behind the sub is for someone to share an experience and someone give insight into how they might feel about that situation. It's important to remember that everything here is an opinion and should not be taken as fact.

Hey my post was removed!
Please take a moment to read the rules - If you feel like your post was removed in error, then submit a request via Mod Mail and it will be reviewed.

What to expect
Over the coming months please bear with us as we adjust some things to best suit the content posted here. Everything will be announced so no sudden changes without notification. It is our intention to engage the community as best as possible during these times.

Hey can I help mod?
Moderator Applications will be announced and opened whenever a position is needed.

Hey how do I...
If you have questions regarding how to use reddit I suggest you check out Reddit Help. If you have explicit questions about this subreddit then it is suggested you reach out via Mod Mail

What are the response times for Mod Mail?
Please check the side bar for expected response times.

Long story short -

I submitted something to this subs modmail in relation to a request I made.

I saw that you needed to respond to the bot if it was unable to provide clarification to your answer.

I never received an auto response from any bot on the message I sent. I sent it earlier this morning.

Is the helper bot always supposed to provide an initial response or should I just practice more patience?