Am I bad husband because I want some space and peace?

My wife and I are both 31, married for last two years. We are living together for like 2.5 years.

For the last 10 months, my wife is usually at home. She did some job changing, and for a past few months, she had a knee injury so she is pretty much always inside. Every now and then she will go out to get a coffee with her friend or some activity like that.

I, on the other hand, am working two jobs (full time + I have a side job, my own company) and we started renovating a house so we get out of the rent. Somw days I will work 8 hours, some 14 hours, some 6 hours. But there are more times when I will work more than 8.

It's really that I enjoy working that much, but since she doesn't have a full salary and with renovation going on, I try to take care of the financial stuff.

Lately, we are getting into fights. I'm her, pretty much, only source of communication, hanging out etc. She wants to play board games, watch documentaries togethers etc.

But I usually come home exhausted, with so much going on in my head and I just want to chill, turn on my show and turn off my brain. Especially because I'm always socializing.

She, like I sad, wants to hang out with me. She wants us to play like 3 hours of board games, mostly so we can talk, or watch documentaries for 2 hours so we can discuss it.

I admit, I maybe didn't show her so much interest in hanging out with her. We don't go out as much as before (my job + her knee) and like, I really really wwnt some time alone in the apartment. I just want to be alone, to chill and relax. And in the last 10 months, I probably had that like 10 times with couple of hours ans that's it.

Am I bad husband because I can't wait for her to get bwck to work, have her own life, socialize with other people and that I have some peace?

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u/guy495 — 8 hours ago

Preseljenje na selo, 20km od grada

Žena i ja smo podstanari trenutno, plaćamo nekih 600e mjesečno.

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Ja sam nasljedio kuću na selu, koja je generacijama u mojoj obitelji. Recimo, da kad bi uložili nekih 80k eura, dobili bi komotan stambeni prostor od 80ak m2, uz još konobu, mogućnost renovacije i manje garsonjere. Tu je još i vrt, 1500m2 okućnice, pomoćni objekti.

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Razmišljamo da se maknemo iz grada i sredimo to i preselimo se.

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Iskreno, trenutno ne koristimo bas neke benefite grada. Ne dolaze nam ljudi baš u stan, nalazimo se vani sa društvom, svakako moramo koristiti auto za posao (10min). Mali dućan nam je ispred zgrade i to je top, kao i Wolt, Glovo.

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S druge strane, podstanari smo i apsolutno izludim kada nakon posla tražim parking nekad po 20min i vrtim se oko zgrade.

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Najveći con sela mi je tih 20min vožnje do posla i grada. Najbliži dućani su na 10min vožnje. Javni prijevoz je onako, ima možda 8-10 autobusnih linija dnevno.

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Održavanje okućnice i kuće mi je prihvatljivo.

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Socijalizacija, osjećaj dosade. To ne znam. Trenutno mislim da mi neće smetati, dosta mi je socijalizacije na poslu, za kave ćemo voziti malo duže. Ljudi ima nešto i par obitelji sa djecom, ali uglavnom je starija populacija. Kada dođu djeca, vjerojatno nas čeka teži posao.

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Lik sam koji voli raditi s rukama i maštam o svojoj garaži i radioni, žena o cvijeću i psu u dvorištu.

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Što mislite, biste li mogli ići na tako nešto?

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u/guy495 — 11 days ago

Primanje novca - kako?

Pozdrav svima.

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Prije svega, želim naglasiti da sam zaposlen za stalno te da uz to imam paušalni obrt sa otvorenim privatnim žiro računom koji koristim za obrt.

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Sad dolazim u situaciju gdje će mi jedna osoba, koja je u Njemačkoj, poslati jednu svotu novca (cca. 20-30k eura)

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Kako da mi prebaci te novce? Jel dovoljno da mi prebaci na moj tekući i napiše samo "poklon/dar"? Hoću li imati kakve probleme, trebam li se nekako pripremiti u slučaju da porezna pita da se pravdam?

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u/guy495 — 19 days ago

My wife (31F) and I (30M) are different regarding the sex. Whatbare your thoughts?

My wife and I have been married for two years now, no kids. When we first started dating, sex has been great. Best I ever experienced.

She is mentally very strong lady, did a lot of work on herself, she knows her body and she really enjoys sex.

I have a very high libido, she says the same thing.

But the problem is, our sexual life, isn't so great, atleast not if you ask me.

It's like we can't manage a two week period or regular sex. It's like, we have sex for one day, then 4 days break, then we have twice in one day, then 5 days break etc. So when you take average, it isn't much.

I don't expect every day, even though I would want to and I don't force her or anything like that, but it seems like there is always something that is preventing her to have sex. It's like everything is more important than that.

I on the other hand, would put sex infront of some daily things. Because I enjoy physically and mentally.

And before you say anything, I'm not the passive guy. I take her out on dates, buy her flower, work two jobs and still help her as much as I can to ease her life, that includes housework, driving her around etc. So the advice, "ease her life so she has more energy" - don't really work.

I understand that she is a women and it works differently, due to different period of months and everything, but.

She says that sex is important but she can be happy in marriage without so much sex. But I think sex is very important part of marriage.

We will start therapy together (both of us are going separately). But I don't really know solution for this, except that I just live with it. Maybe I'm overreacting.

TLDR: my wife and I have totally different view on sex

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u/guy495 — 1 month ago