Hello experts,
I am 28 and husband 32 and our kid of 2 months old.
Both of us have health insurances from our respective employers covering 5L and 4L.
I have a health insurance policy from star health which i am not satisfied with, so I have decided to take a policy from other companies.
Please guide me on the parameters which I should consider before taking a policy.
I am a 27-year-old woman, married for two years, and I have a 20-day-old baby.
I do not have a very good relationship with my father-in-law (FIL). My mother-in-law is no longer alive. I have a decent relationship with my sisters-in-law.
My FIL is a very adamant and controlling person. He behaves very differently when my husband is present and when he is not.
My husband and I work in a different city, so we live away from the family.
Since my husband and FIL do not communicate much, my FIL usually asks me about everything we are doing. There have been a few misunderstandings between his family and me over the years, but I mostly ignored them because they did not affect me mentally, and we lived in a different city.
I became pregnant around September. We informed both our families after about a month.
During pregnancy, I had severe health issues. I was constantly afraid that I might lose my baby or that something might happen to me. Because of this, I became depressed. In our culture, pregnant women usually go to their parents' house before delivery. However, my husband and I decided not to travel to our native place until delivery because of my health condition. For almost 3–4 months, I could barely eat properly and lost around 10 kg.
Despite my condition, both our families insisted that the baby shower ceremonies should happen.
According to our customs, there are usually two baby shower ceremonies: one during the 5th month and another during the 7th or 9th month.
To keep everyone happy, we invited both families to our home in Bangalore and decided to conduct the 5th-month baby shower there.
During that ceremony, my parents invited some of our relatives. From my husband's side, only immediate family members attended. This led to complaints from my in-laws, who insisted that their relatives should be invited to the next ceremony and that it should take place in our native town because their relatives would not travel.
They created a huge argument and drama in my husband's absence. When I informed my husband, he had a major fight with his family. After that, they blamed me for telling him and called me a "family breaker."
Eventually, I was made to travel around 500 km during my 7th month of pregnancy for the second ceremony. I was expected to ignore my back pain and adjust for three days, simply for the sake of appearances.
Because of these experiences, I decided that during childbirth, I only wanted my husband and my mother around me. We planned to inform everyone only after the baby was born.
After delivery, we informed both families. They visited me at the hospital and stayed with us for about a week.
A few days later, after my husband resumed work, an incident occurred. One day, while I was applying body lotion to my baby, he started crying. My FIL repeatedly asked me to hand the baby over to him. I told him that I would do so after feeding the baby. Despite this, he kept asking again and again, and eventually I became irritated and responded firmly.
He immediately created a scene, left the house, and called my husband claiming he had urgent work in our native place and was leaving. I informed my husband about what had happened. Surprisingly, my FIL returned home within 30 minutes.
Two days later, he left for our native town. He then called my sister-in-law and claimed that I was trying to separate the baby from their family. He also cried while speaking to my husband, saying that my mother and I were not treating him well.
After all this drama, my mother reduced her interactions with him.
The entire situation was extremely traumatic because it happened just five days after I had given birth. Within three days, I lost another 10 kg and became underweight. I had no energy to speak. My body desperately needed sleep and recovery, but instead I was emotionally exhausted and mentally drained.
Later, they portrayed the situation as if I had complained about my FIL to my husband. When my husband confronted him, my FIL became emotional and cried, which eventually led to a major argument between my husband and me. Fortunately, we resolved it.
However, my FIL continues to create different dramas whenever my husband is absent.
I came to my parents' house two days ago. Today, my FIL visited and started discussing the naming ceremony. The matter had already been discussed in my husband's presence, but he is now suggesting something completely different and arguing with me about it.
He also insisted that I should give formula milk to my baby because, according to him, my breast milk would not be enough. In reality, my milk supply is quite good. I am even pumping extra milk because of oversupply.
My baby had jaundice shortly after birth and was not feeding well initially, so we gave formula for a day or two based on medical necessity.
Despite knowing this, my FIL keeps claiming that my milk supply is inadequate. He constantly compares me to his late wife and makes comments about how she used to do things differently, even after I explain the situation.
I honestly do not understand what the problem is.
He has always been controlling and dominating toward me. He behaves one way in front of my husband and another way when my husband is not around. I often feel that he manipulates situations and people.
I do not know how to handle all of this. I am already dealing with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
I love my husband, and we generally have a good relationship. He does stand up for me. However, constantly escalating these issues is exhausting. Sometimes my husband feels that I am always complaining because new issues keep arising.
At times, I feel trapped. My life is not so bad that I want to leave it, but it is not peaceful enough for me to feel happy continuing it this way.
Ps: Used AI to phrase the sentence
Makkale,
1 week back pregnancy and in laws issue pathi oru post poten, thank you so much your overwhelming support.
Your comments really made me feel good.
Now I really want to share my delivery experience with you all.
My husband and I were watching random Instagram reels, Suddenly my water broke without any pain and I started bleeding so we rushed to hospital around 12 am (the hospital bag was 99% ready by that time as per my doctor's advice)
I was admitted in emergency and they checked my cervix which was only 1 cm dialted so they gave 2 tablets to induce pain but I didn't work as expected, they gave 2 more tablets, the pain was unbearable after that, I begged for epidural(used for painless normal delivery) it was not possible in my case
My mom.and husband was with me throughout and helped me in doing breathing exercises.
But unfortunately my labor didn't progress even after having 10 hrs of pain.
By 11 am in the morning, doctor said she can't eait further as it may risk both of our lives because of bleeding and decided emergency c section, honestly i felt bit relieved, they was taken to OT.
Here comes the magic, During my entire pregnancy, I manifested normal delivery only because husband will be allowed in labor room, when we booked the package for delivery, they said husband will be allowed in labor room for normal delivery, for c section, husband won't be allowed.
I felt little sad that my husband wouldn't be with me to welcome our new born in the OT, I was chanting "ohm namo narayana" to relax myself inside the OT, i was under anesthesia, my lower body was totally numb, i could hear every conversation happened inside the OT.
I heard, the anesthetist asked the OT nurse to put a stool behind me and she asked her to give the OT dress to my husband and ask him to come in asap.
I couldn't believe what i heard, in 2 mins my husband came inside the OT and rubbed my forehead and kissed me and sat next to me, in sometime I heard my husband cried as the team cut open my belly and he saw the doctor taking the baby out of my womb and damn she said " congratulations to both, its a boy", i tried to opening my eyes and saw my husband crying for the first time.
We together welcomed our baby.
I was under oxygen as i have respiratory issues i couldn't kiss my baby, so they made my baby kiss me by placing his lips over my firehead straight from my womb, and my husband was holding the baby and kissed both of us ig.
That moment felt like a magic.
Later I got to know that they asked my husband to cut the clamp under the team's supervision. So my husband cut the clamp as well.
Rendu per veetlayum delivery ku native vara matom naanga bangalore la oru hospital la tha papom nu sanda potom also the hospital was bit expensive (we still went for it even though it was slightly higher than our affordability level)
Now every single penny and every argument we had with our parents is worth.
Ithu completely unexpected enga life la, kodi ruba kuduthalum intha moment life la kedaikathu nanbargale.
Your OP is happy finally!!!
After delivery, I feel our relationship has become even more beautiful, I feel like I have pulled a great man in my entire bloodline(I felt this already, but after delivery, the way he takes care of me make me feel like every women should get a man like him).
Makkale,
How do you manage mental peace while surrounded with mental pieces?
Parents and in laws ellarume boomer a iruntha intha situation a epdi manage panuvinga?
Stress thanga mudiyama sethuralam nu iruku but 39 weeks pregnant 😐
Delivery pain vida 2 kudumbam um enalam pana porainga nu nenachu tha romba stress aahuthu🫠
I am 37 weeks pregnant and I may deliver a baby anytime, I have 3 insurances in total one from my employer (75k coverage including pre amd post hospitalisation expense) baby is covered from day 1. one from husband's employer (50k for normal delivery and 75k for C section) one from star health which I have taken few years ago maternity cap is 25k + 2.5k vaccination expenses + 2.5k ante natal expenses.
Husband's employer is yet to provide the E-card(They may provide the card in 10 days prly) so we aren't cosnidering his insurance at the moment.
We have decided to use my insurance provided by employer as cashless and will pay the rest in cash. The hospital has quoted 1.75 lakhs as delivery expenses (1.20 lakhs for package) and 50k approx will be the exclusion such as medicine, registration charges, baby test charges,vaccination charges for new born.
Hospital insurance desk suggested that we can use my insurance as primary for cashless for 75k and rest can be reimbursed from other insurances based on terms and conditions.
Can anyone suggest me on how can I avail the max benefits from these insurances?