u/hariKariii

Hey all! So like the title says, I’m a sweaty pig :( this has been an issue since childhood and having to clean my shirt pit stains drove my mom crazy. I used secret clinical strength for probably a decade. It worked pretty well, but I always had immediate pit sweat no matter the temperature. I’ve tried carpe deodorant. That makes it even worse. Love the scent, but I’m dripping sweat within minutes. I then bought lume deodorant plus sweat control, slightly better than carpe, but still super sweaty. I’m at a loss over here. Is this what my life is going to be? I’m considering switching back to secret clinical since I know that at least somewhat worked, but does anyone have better recommendations? I’m close to the point of going to the doctor and seeing what they can do for me because this is awful. TIA!

My fiancé and I have been together 3 years, engaged a couple months. We want a small wedding sooner than later.

When we first started dating, everything with his family was perfect (totally welcoming and loving) aside from his now SIL being a little inappropriate. She’d (his brother’s wife) do things to almost stake her claim to my boyfriend, which I know sounds so odd, but it happened every time. Asking him to zip up the back of her dress, trying to sit on his lap and him not allowing it, if I got up, she’d take my seat so I’d have to sit far away, double entendre jokes about him. It goes on and on. This only started when I came into the picture apparently.

We were both uncomfortable, so he sent her a respectful text about how he values their relationship but some things make him uncomfortable. She acted oblivious. Then his brother gets involved, saying some really horrendous things to my fiancé. It came to a head at a family gathering shortly after where I was making small talk with the SIL, I figured she’d been called out, she won’t do it again, happy to move on. The brother has extreme anger issues and started screaming at me and my fiancé, acting like he was going to hit me or us, shoved his mom around (who was taking his side). It was a horrible night.

After that we pulled back from family events. The brother’s anger freaked me out, plus a lot of straight up lies were said that night, and of course my fiancé’s mom blamed me for everything, even accusing me of stealing my fiancé’s phone to send the message against his will. Brother and SIL got married a few months later. I was told I was not welcome because it was family only. I didn’t put up a fight. I respected that choice. My fiancé was basically blackmailed by his parents to show up. His brother ended up throttling him and choking him… at his own wedding. My fiancé was an absolute mess. He and bro are complete opposites, so instead of being livid, he was really hurt.

All of this to say, we’re basically no contact with the brother and wife. We’re low contact with his parents, mostly because of his mom still being convinced I’m some horrible villain stealing her baby boy and nearly refusing to see me and my fiancé unless the brother and his wife are also there, which we don’t want. She claims I’m tearing apart her perfect family. She finds no wrong in what her son did, and is convinced I’m out to get the SIL, when I’m really not, I almost feel bad for her at this point. We absolutely do not want the brother and his wife at our small wedding. I want to be surrounded by people who love and support us, not fearful of drama or literal violence. I know this won’t go over well and his mom will again try to pin it on me as being manipulative or whatever, even though my fiancé and I are on the same page.

SIL is also pregnant now. My fiancé’s mom made a toast on HIS birthday to her for carrying her “first and most important grandchild.” So that obviously felt like a diss. I wasn’t invited to the baby shower, which of course is totally fine by me. I respect that. Nobody is going to fight for me to be invited, especially not his mom.

I can already see his parents refusing to come to the wedding if Bro and SIL are not invited. My fiancé doesn’t care about his brother, he’s always been mean and violent, but his parents are a whole other story. Any advice on how we can stay strong together about our guest list and not allowing some likely blackmail attempts to result in us inviting some people we really don’t like?