u/harlotofthecataclysm

Confused about vegan v plant based labels (pls read fully)

I feel lowkey stupid for not understanding this. Please don’t insult me, I have cognitive dysfunction from a head injury and I blame this for me not being able to put this together.

\- I understand that veganism is the moral philosophy that animals don’t exist to be used by humans, so vegans practise this belief by refusing to use animals for food, clothes, medicine and entertainment and stuff. Veganism is not a diet, it’s a philosophy.
\- Being plant based is a person who eats a ‘vegan diet’ without fully (or at all) agreeing with vegan philosophy. Plant based is a diet, not a philosophy.

I conclude that all vegans are plant based, but not all plant based are vegan.

So when we have people who …
\- 100% agree with vegan philosophy
\- but don’t eat a 100% plant based diet
Why do we call them plant based?
When being plant based has nothing to do with veganism and everything to do with diet, and the thing the person is struggling with is the diet aspect.

Does it not make sense to make up a new term for these people, instead of using a term that contradicts itself/ the definitions of vegan and plant based? I feel like these people aren’t vegan or plant based. They’re something else entirely. And I feel like it’s kind of insulting to people who are trying to be vegan because they complete agree with the philosophy, but have dietary limits. It almost feels like gate keeping. But I’m also worried I’m missing something and jsut being an idiot.

When I (masc-nonbinary) was freshly 18 (now 23) I was in a relationship with a 24 year old man (he’s now 30). We’re both assigned female at birth. We met at a local family friendly queer club and we hit it off, ended up dating and being in a serious relationship for a year. This was a very loving and mutual relationship, we genuinely loved each other, spent a lot of time together and money on each other, we cared for each other when sick, looked into living together, had a healthy sexual relationship with regular intercourse.

Frequently (at least on a monthly basis) he’d realise just how young I was in comparison to him, mostly in discussions about various media from his youth versus mine, but these realisations occurred in many contexts. He found it both humorous and cringy/ made him uncomfortable in a ‘funny way’, while I felt only embarrassed and singled out when these realisations would happen - also keeping in mind I only knew of these occurrences when verbalised. He probably had these realisations more than he voiced.

One day, I’d informed him I was to give a friend of mine (16, so only 2 years younger than me (ETA: this friend had already been a weed smoker for years) the rest of my weed, as I had cannabis hyperemsis syndrome and didn’t want it to go to waste. He became withdrawn the rest of the evening (which I, autistic, only realised after he’d left) and eventually went home. I woke up the next day to a huge paragraph about how he can’t be in a relationship with someone that was going to give a child drugs. He gave me an ultimatum - give my friend the weed or break up. Our mutual best friend reached out to tell me my boyfriend confessed to him that he was going to intentionally use pressuring and manipulative language to get a prompt response from me.

I ended up breaking up with him, and throwing the weed in the trash. For months I was devastated. It was only at about 21 years old that I realised I might’ve been groomed or otherwise taken advantage of. Does grooming always need to be intentional from the groomer?
Despite our relationship being loving and mutualistic, I was still 7 years younger than him and the nature of our breakup with a tipping point of a cognitive dissonance of mine and my friend groups ages versus his own.

When I (masc-nonbinary) was freshly 18 (now 23) I was in a relationship with a 24 year old man (he’s now 30). We’re both assigned female at birth. We met at a local family friendly queer club and we hit it off, ended up dating and being in a serious relationship for a year. This was a very loving and mutual relationship, we genuinely loved each other, spent a lot of time together and money on each other, we cared for each other when sick, looked into living together, had a healthy sexual relationship with regular intercourse.

Frequently (at least on a monthly basis) he’d realise just how young I was in comparison to him, mostly in discussions about various media from his youth versus mine, but these realisations occurred in many contexts. He found it both humorous and cringy/ made him uncomfortable in a ‘funny way’, while I felt only embarrassed and singled out when these realisations would happen - also keeping in mind I only knew of these occurrences when verbalised. He probably had these realisations more than he voiced.

One day, I’d informed him I was to give a friend of mine (16, so only 2 years younger than me) the rest of my weed, as I had cannabis hyperemsis syndrome and didn’t want it to go to waste. He became withdrawn the rest of the evening (which I, autistic, only realised after he’d left) and eventually went home. I woke up the next day to a huge paragraph about how he can’t be in a relationship with someone that was going to give a child drugs. He gave me an ultimatum - give my friend the weed or break up. Our mutual best friend reached out to tell me my boyfriend confessed to him that he was going to intentionally use pressuring and manipulative language to get a prompt response from me.

I ended up breaking up with him, and throwing the weed in the trash. For months I was devastated. It was only at about 21 years old that I realised I might’ve been groomed or otherwise taken advantage of. Does grooming always need to be intentional from the groomer?
Despite our relationship being loving and mutualistic, I was still 7 years younger than him and the nature of our breakup with a tipping point of a cognitive dissonance of mine and my friend groups ages versus his own.