u/harvestjoon

Our first is 15 months, and we love him so much.

Of course we’ve experienced the, “I couldn’t possibly love another as much as him.. let’s just have him!”

But we’ve also rationalized and know that we would likely love another just as much.

Having one is REALLY appealing. Time, attention, logistics, finances (for him and us) , flexibility.

But we did originally want 2, and there’s nothing in the way of having two (health concerns, or anything mentioned above.. we COULD have another without sweating, though we know it would be more work).

Again though, we are really fantasizing about being done already and how much we could get back to doing right away.

I think my biggest reasons for having another would be:
- I do love children. I think it would bring me joy to have another.
- Curious about experiencing two personalities instead of just one
- someone to lean on that’s not mom or dad (my mom died young)
- The potential sibling relationship
- 2 kid vs. 2 parent balance
- more potential future family
- less focus on one kid (for their benefit.. but maybe they would benefit?)

Reasons for not (in order of importance)
- Divided attention, less immersion in both their lives
- Divided monetary support
-More stress
- Lack of free time, flexibility, etc.
- less travel potential

I think my husband and I are pretty easygoing people. We wouldn’t be helicopter parents or Hawkeye him and make him feel like he has to succeed to gain our love.

I just don’t want to deprive him of a potentially once in a lifetime relationship or support down the road. But I also don’t want to deprive him of the most help we can give. I know it’s not guarantee they’ll like eachother, but from what I’ve read it seems to always come down to parenting. I think we’d be decent parents, so unless they really have extreme polar opposite personalties and temperaments (which is possible) they at least probably wouldn’t HATE eachother short or long term.

I don’t know ya’ll lol, help me out

I was going to wait until next year to try (I thought that’s how long I’d take to be ready again), but I’m starting to feel good where we are.

Planning to take my IUD out once he’s in daycare in September, so still a few months to go. He’ll be about 17 months by then.

Anyway - I’m kind of dreading it. He’s such a booby guy, it’s his happy comfy place, and he gets so cuddly and giggly (he’s absolutely insane otherwise lol - nonstop running and chaos).

My original caveat was to be done breastfeeding by the time I got pregnant again.. but I’m just feeling ready.

So, it’s making me sad that “just us” time is coming to an end. And that he’ll have to share me or whatever.

We seriously considered just one cause we love him so much and *couldn’t possibly* imagine loving another… but I know we would.

I heard that being pregnant naturally drops your milk production though, so it often turns into a self-led weaning situation anyway?

I’d love to hear some positive stories regarding the situation so I can stop being all doom and gloom about it lol. It should be exciting! Hormones ya!

Elaborations appreciated!

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