u/hate_sympathy

I have a friend, we have been friends since 9th class and now we have both passed 12th, it's our dropper year and we are both preparing for JEE. He proposed to me on Sep 25th but then he said let's focus on preparation now and said he will talk to me directly after giving the April attempt. I said okay fine, studyyy

But I don't understand is he studying for 24 hours that he can't give me even 1 hour out of 24?

Before accepting his proposal I told him that you don't love me, you just like me, otherwise there's nothing like that between us, so he said the biggest myth is what even is love, he said we both understand each other and what else do we need

I mean even friends understand each other 😭🤣 I don't understand anything

When I was 16 I used to talk to a boy he was never officially my boyfriend but we used to use filters together and talk normally like friends one day my elder brother saw our chats He somehow got access to my WhatsApp and started reading my conversations Then one day he told my father about it

My father scolded me a lot nd after that both my parents started looking at me differently almost as if I had done something really wrong Even today I feel like they have that same impression of me If someone calls me on my phone my mother immediately asks who it was. If I go to the terrace, she asks why I went there and what I was doing. Because of this i have stopped going there alone And whenever I do go I usually go with them

Even if one of my female friends calls me i sometimes cut the call and continue talking to her through chat because I don't want my family to misunderstand anything about me. The truth is, I don't have a boyfriend or anything like that. I never have The boys I've talked to have only ever been friends

Because of what happened back then I have started limiting how much I talk to people. It doesn't matter whether they're friends or even my cousins if I talk to someone for too long, I start worrying about what my family might think so I end the conversation quickly

I remember telling my father once “I have a brain too Everyone can think for themselves.” He still taunts me about that sometimes and it hurts because I didn't actually do anything wrong But somehow everyone ended up misunderstanding me because of what my brother showed them

Now I'm 19 nd my brother is in the final year of his BTech. Whenever he comes home, I see him constantly talking to someone chatting or calling almost 24/7 I know he's talking to a girl because I've sometimes seen his chats, and I've even seen heart and kiss emojis. But I don't think badly of him for it my first thought is simply that he's in college, and it's normal to have someone you talk to or like. I don't think there's anything wrong with that

But what hurts me is remembering what he did to me. Sometimes I feel like I should do the same thing to him, just so he understands how it feels. But I don't actually tell my father anything about him He probably thinks I don't know what's going on but I know everything i just choose not to say anything

What hurts the most is that when I was 16, they judged me so quickly and made me feel like I had done something terrible, even though that boy was never even my boyfriend. If they had simply told me not to talk to him, I would have listened. Instead, my brother went straight to my father, and I ended up becoming the “bad” one in their eyes

Even now I feel like I can never completely change the way they see me That's what makes me so upset Sometimes I still think about everything that happened and it makes me cry because I know I didn't deserve to be treated like I had done something wrong