u/hatecrime17

I (F19) have been seeing a guy (M, late 20s) for almost 7 months. We've been exclusive since our second date, but he still doesn't want to make things official. His reasons are that he wants to "take things slow," doesn't want to "limit my lifestyle," and wants to be sure because of a past heartbreak.

He's met my friends, but I've never properly met his. We mostly spend time alone at mine (never at his because he's living with his parents. Though it's a different story with his ex that he had a very long-term relationship with)

Recently, his ex messaged me on Instagram. She sent her "hey girlie" text I realized we have an uncanny amount in common (we look alike, have similar personalities and backgrounds, and even attended the same university)

Ps: I also found out they had only broken up a few months before he met me, which he never mentioned. And that he has shared pictures that they took during their time dating together, to me (I thought he took them like a normal person, aka in real time) 😬😬😬 I found this out cuz she still has her posts with him up since yearssss ago.

He also takes me to places that they went together. Its uncanny how we're so similar to the point that we are involved in a tight community and vicinity.

I can't stop thinking I'm her replacement. Am I overthinking this, or are is this valid to be concerned about? Should I leave him? 🙏🙏🙏

I (F19) have been seeing a guy (M, late 20s) for about half a year. We're approaching 7 months together, although we're still not officially dating. I say "together" because we've been exclusive since our second date, so I've always seen us as working toward a relationship.

At first, I understood why he wanted to wait. During the first few months, he said he preferred to take things slowly and wanted to be respectful of my pace. Later, he also said he didn't want to "limit my lifestyle" since I'm more social than he is, and that I was in an "experimental phase" of life. That confused me because we'd already agreed to be exclusive, which made me think we were both serious. He also mentioned that he didn't want to fall in love too quickly because of a difficult previous relationship, so I tried to be patient.

Fast forward to now, and we're still not official.

He's met my close friends and people in my wider social circle, but I've never properly met his friends. I had a brief chance encounter with a family member, but other than that, we mostly spend time alone together at my place. I assumed maybe it was because of our age difference or that he was just a private person.

Until his ex texted me from Instagram...

"Hey girlie... [His Name] is my ex btw"

"Where are you from? Oh we're the same!"

Tell me why she looks like me, sounds like me, from the same background as me, went to the same university (a senior graduate, of course), and experienced the same agency as me.

And it all suddenly makes sense. He's comfortable playing boyfriend because we're similar. I couldn't stop wondering whether he's drawn to me because I remind him of her.

Ps: I found out they had ended a very long-term relationship only a few months before he met me, which he hadn't told me 😬 (I assumed he stopped dating at least 2 years). And that he's been sending me pictures (which I assume he took) during their time dating together, and bringing me to their same date spots.

Is this a me problem of being jealous or is it reasonable to be concerned? should I break it off with him because of how uncanny this is? I also have a feeling I can work this through communication 🥹 but I can't forget how this will impact how I see him from now on (like I'm her replacement).

[UPDATE]: he was also my first and he didn't use protection until I threatened that I was gonna have his baby if I was pregnant xx

Food of the day, aglio olio with a big ass shrimp. 😢😢😢

His ex is his type. Should I leave?

His type is his ex, should I leave?