I use a serum every night before wrapping and sometimes in the morning, but the bounce is gone after a few days. This was my first silk press ever, so I’m a bit disappointed. Atp, I’m just ready to re-loc it. 🤷🏽♀️
It’s been nothing but guilt I’ve felt since April this year. This morning I finally felt anger and now I’m more convinced I have no need or desire to see or speak to her.
To add context, she lived with us for a little while starting in December of last year. She had spinal surgery and she basically said it’d be easiest to stay with us because of the layout of our house. So, she voluntold us what was going to happen, even after we told her we weren’t comfortable with it. Of course she doesn’t remember that, so I’m left with the real details while she absolves herself to zero accountability. This similar situation happened a time before, back when she decided to sell her house with no backup plan. Despite our hesitation, she still decided to take up space. Both times were meant to be temporary, but she got way too comfortable and tried to rewrite the narrative of our home. Now, her focus is our kids, with no intention of acknowledging our shattered relationship or her part in all of it. Since she wants to treat me like a stranger, that vibe has been reciprocated. I tried one last time to talk with her, and this is where we are.
Has anyone gone through narcissistic abuse from their parent(s) while being raised in the church? On one end, trying to live up to the expectations of the one parent (growing up as an only child with a single mother), then trying to live up the standards of the church, all while navigating social norms and not being accepted in school or church. I’m now 31 years old and I still feel stuck in this loop of trauma and anxiety. I’ve had my endowment, but it feels like I only did it to make my mother proud, but even now we don’t speak because she abused living with us (my husband, kids, and I), twice. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel my life in the church has been a push for what my mother wanted for me, and with all the turmoil that’s happened between us in my adult life, I’m just not sure how I fit into the gospel. It all feels transactional. Like if I’m doing well, then I’ll be accepted by her and others. Does this make sense? Has anyone else felt this way?
Has anyone else struggled with their autistic child(ren) in keeping them entertained or helping them understand their poor behaviors aren’t okay? Has anyone been able to find a way for them to enjoy the beach for more than an hour or even the pool, with so many other people around? If anyone has stayed bayside, does it seem easier than Oceanside? Just trying to enjoy the rest of our vacation as much as possible.
I recently went no contact with my mom, her not knowing it, but so far it’s been very confusing for me. I feel a greater sense of peace, but also exhaustion. I haven’t had my survival mode switched on for a few weeks now. The last I heard from her, she asked me if she could see my kids, but had no words for me. Before that, she came to my house after staying with us for 4 months to pick up some leftover items. She used that opportunity to scream at me in my driveway about how she never needed me after her back surgery. She screamed at me because we told her we didn’t want her staying with us anymore (she had healed by this point). What’s the issue with wanting to no longer be robbed of our family memories? While she was here, she was constantly in my face or looking for me or in my places of solitude. If I left the house, she’d be clamoring to know where I was…..I had no space to breathe. She even asked me if she was in the way… UMM YES! She also asked if it’s hard to talk to her… UMMM YES! Whenever we tried (my husband and I), she would literally flip her lid. So wtf? So again, after all that, she says she wants to see the kids. Just totally skipping over me and what I’m feeling, so now I’m in a place where I can enforce my boundaries and not give two sh*ts about how it makes her feel. I still care about her welfare, but apart from that, I’ve reached a place where I’m better off without her in my life. I’ve had her blocked for over a week, haven’t checked for any responses, also whenever her so-called friends reach out for anything, I’m immediately guarded and take no part in their games. It’s confusing to stand on the boundaries I’ve made because for the first time in my life, she’s not controlling me. 😮💨😴