u/heyoitsluca

I wanna make new friends irl and usually I dont struggle with it but it’s just been difficult since most of the people at my school…My coworkers are also all older than me :/.

I don’t know if this counts as hangxiety, but I really need help figuring out how to make amends with my friends.
Yesterday we had a celebration and all went to my best friend’s house to drink and have a good time. We started drinking around 3 a.m., and honestly our goal was to get really fucked up. This week has also been extremely difficult for me as I lost my uncle, had finals, and broke up with my boyfriend. I also recently went off Lexapro, so mentally I’ve been in a really bad place for the past month.
At first everything was fine. It was just me, my best friend, and her boyfriend. But we drank a LOT, and I was on an empty stomach. I ended up blacking out and apparently spent two hours scream-crying at my friend’s boyfriend, saying he was a bad friend and that I hated him.
I used to like my friend’s boyfriend years before they got together, and apparently while I was drunk I said I was still in love with him, which is not true at all. I also called my ex around 20 times and spam-texted him the entire night.
When I woke up, my best friend’s sister told me everything that happened, and now I genuinely don’t know what to do. I already asked if we could talk so I could apologize, but they rejected it.
Can anyone seeing this please help me figure out how to fix this?