Image 1 — Chaos Incarnate
Image 2 — Chaos Incarnate

Chaos Incarnate

Me when I keep feeding into favoritism and neglect the 12 or so other important OCs I haven't drawn

Just some tidbits:

>The apple she's eating here is a reference to the Greek myth of the Judgement of Paris, where Eris, goddess of strife and discord, throws a golden apple to cause a feud between three Greek goddesses: Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite. Nihil here, who embodies concepts similar to those of Eris, also does something similar in my OCverse (she initiated a war among gods and stuff).

>The text in the background is the Latin phrase, "vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas," which means "vanity of vanities, all is vanity." As far as my research has gone, this phrase describes the futility/fleetingness of the world. Pretty befitting for Nihil as that is basically her outlook on everything

Despite how they’re depicted here, her horns actually aren’t drippy, but who knows. Maybe I’ll draw her with them every so often. I kind of like it

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 4 days ago

Drinks from last Friday are done! :))

I was gonna do another Friday offer today but god I am so tired. I'll do another next week though

Credits:

Matteo by u/NajsManiek 

Auron by u/TheRealMousou 

Adagio by u/Sumires_Bread 

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 10 days ago
▲ 46 r/u_hi_i_kinda_exist+1 crossposts

ice skating au :>

totally not because i watched heated rivalry last week or anything haha oh and also omfg tristen is so FINEEEEE

I really looked at these two and wondered how I can make them even gayer huh

lore bs

I'm not gonna talk about their personalities that much as I think the sketches here convey enough

So their dynamic is honestly kind of unclear to me as I kinda just made this on a whim, but I'm thinking rivals to lovers. Maybe they compete against each other but one day became co-stars. Tristen is praised as one of the most elegant and pristine figure skaters in the world, meanwhile Ana just does her own thing. Because of this, the two have differing reputations: Tristen is basically universally admired, meanwhile Ana has a more mixed/polarized reputation (she has very supportive fans but also very vocal critics). Despite that, both are seen as authentic and true to themselves. However, if you know anything about Tristen, she is a people-pleaser

As time goes on and they continue to compete and perform, they also get closer. While Ana is not the first person to recognize that there's something off about Tristen's demeanor (being wayyy too perfect and admirable), she is the first to continue feeling concerned after Tristen dismisses Ana's worries; most people typically move on after Tristen says she's fine. This surprises Tristen because she isn't used to having someone, especially her rival of all people, noticing something beneath the surface she meticulously crafted. This creates a lot of tension and vulnerability between the two as Tristen has never felt this way, and Ana begins to see her as more than just an idol/rival

Pretty much nothing about the setting has changed, so there's still magic and supernatural stuff. The only differences are in the characters themselves: Tristen doesn't get experimented on and her family is alive, and Ana's brother didn't get erased from existence. And because magic still exists, both of them use magic to add more oomph to their performances, or at least the ones where they're allowed to. Not to say that magic carries what they do, as both of them are very skilled, but it furthers the spectacle that they are. Ana still does soul magic, and Tristen still does light magic, but not darkness or time like the og canon

ok time to yap about their designs because i like doing this

design yap

I designed Tristen's outfit somewhat based off of actual irl figure skaters. I wanted to convey a sense of elegance and beauty while also alluding to how she's idolized by the public (hence the open back, shoulders, hips, and kind of chest). I didn't have her just wear a leotard though because I lowkey thought that was boring, so I gave her the gloves and the leggings which are a reference to her og base design. The gloves are also a nod to how she puts a guard up despite seemingly being completely herself

As for Ana, I didn't base hers off of anything. I was gonna go for a full bodysuit, but I decided against it because Ana doesn't like feeling restricted by skintight clothing. So I chopped it below the knees and gave her holes for some of her fingers. The patterns and colors on her are also references to her og design, much like Tristen's

I think next I'll make a genderbent version of the original two idk

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 11 days ago

Time to yap about an AU :DD (Vessel AU)

Me when I indulge in favoritism by taking my two fav OCs and putting them together (coincidentally they both have white hair and are lesbians. Happy pride month)

Storyline

Tristen (24 in this AU, unlike how she was 8 in the og canon) gets kidnapped and experimented on. And instead of being turned into a half-demon hybrid like in the og canon, she becomes Nihil's vessel. Not that Nihil needed a vessel in the first place, but she was curious to see what it feels like to possess someone designated specifically for her. Tristen is VERY upset and fucking HATES Nihil, meanwhile Nihil is actually decent (kinda) to Tristen. She even wants to help Tristen escape, but if and only if she accepts her and herself. After a lot of arguments and talks between the two, Tristen reluctantly accepts Nihil's offer, but only just so she can escape. This then causes Tristen/Nihil to kill all the researchers, which induces many conflicting feelings within Tristen after she/Nihil finished because Tristen felt guilty for brutally destroying a bunch of people, but she lowkey kind of enjoyed that. Turns out being Nihil's vessel has many effects not just physically or magically, but also psychologically and biologically!!

After she successfully escapes, Tristen tries to act like nothing ever happened: she attends her classes as usual, hang out with family and friends, get a job, etc. However, this proves to be difficult when you have a cosmic anomaly casually residing within you that can make itself present in your mind whenever it wants to, and also when you realize you're developing the same urges as said anomaly. This of course means that Tristen cannot live as a normal citizen. Shortly, yes, but she can't completely return to normalcy. Nihil points this out to her multiple times, but Tristen refuses to believe Nihil's right... until Tristen nearly goes insane because she's also gaining the same/similar abilities as Nihil, which causes her to experience frequent bouts of existential crises. Coupled with her ever growing destructive impulses, ummm yeah she is not mentally stable.

Once Tristen finally fully accepts her role as a vessel, shenanigans ensue. She leaves her life behind (for the most part at least) and her morals corrupt over time, gradually adopting Nihil's hedonistic lifestyle and rather bleak outlook, while interestingly, Nihil actually becomes ever so slightly better as a person because of Tristen. Their relationship is very unhealthy though. Not that they're codependent, neglectful of the other, or anything like that, but more so they enable their bad choices and traits often.

Concept/design

There's honestly a lot for me to say. I'll be copy and pasting something from another post I did and adding slightly more to it here

  • Marionette/puppet imagery: in og canon, she's already kinda compared to them. So, I decided to take it literally this time. I'm sure the intent of this is clear, but it's meant to show how Tristen is essentially under Nihil's control and that she's also generally a subservient people-pleaser
  • Scabiosa atropurpurea (sweet scabious/pincushion flower): I didn't want to use red spider lilies again (which I used for Nihil, along with red anemone flowers), so I went on a little adventure and found that according to Wikipedia, these represent "unfortunate attachment" and "I have lost all" which fits pretty well. The fact that these also attract butterflies is even more fitting
  • Vines: not only does this mirror Nihil's own, but it also kinda shows how Tristen is ensnared by her role as a vessel. Ironically, she can actually control these. So in a way, in that aspect, it shows her unconscious desire for control and freedom. How is this expressed in the AU? Yes.
  • Crown of thorns halo thingamajig: other than the fact it looks cool, in this context, it serves to mock Tristen for clinging to morality, integrity, and what is right despite her now basically being the most powerful mortal ever in existence, essentially saying that she is stupidly holding herself back by wanting to be a "good person"
  • Butterfly wings: I couldn't decide which butterflies to use (purple emperor vs. noble leafwing), so I simply combined them. And as per Nihil, ofc there are functional eyes :)
    • These will be redesigned later but just look up the butterflies themselves if you want to get a sense of how they look
  • Pallor: her entire body is unnaturally white. This is to resemble marble statues as they are seen as refined, beautiful, perfect, and untouchable on display, but also to show that the former traces of her humanity have been washed out, as she is now a "blank" slate. It also also resembles porcelain dolls for similar reasons, just with the additional fragility of porcelain to reflect her psychological instability
    • Also it just looks really nice with the vines surrounding her body. Like it gives off old forgotten statue vibes
  • The whole design in general: this is simultaneously organic yet not organic. Her clothes here are kind of somewhat but not really part of her, given how they merge with her puppet-like body. Would she bleed if you cut her coattails? No. Would she bleed if you cut off the ones transformed into tendrils? Yes (I haven't drawn this but she can do it)

TL;DR: toxic enemies to ??? yuri

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 15 days ago

Trying something new! I'LL MAKE A DRINK FOR 3 OCS! (read body)

RULES

I will be making drinks for 3 OCs here. No more, no less. From those three, I will be doing a full art of ONE(1) posing/drinking it.

  • SUBMIT ONE(1) OC.
  • YAP ABOUT YOUR OC: tell me important things about your OC's personality and background! Anywhere from a few sentences to paragraphs are fine. I’ll make the drink based off of your OC’s appearance, personality, and potentially backstory
  • GIVE ME YOUR OC’S PREFERRED FLAVOR(S): flavors are different from the drink itself as they are descriptors. So stuff like sweet, sour, tangy, zesty, tart, etc.
    • Optional: give me a drink that fits your OC. It’s up to you if you want me to draw a drink that you have in mind, or if you want to see what I’ll come up with
  • I prefer humanoids: vaguely humanoid also count
  • Compliment each other's OCs :D you don't have to do everyone ofc, just spread the positivity and brighten people’s days :>

Remember: no hard feelings if you're not picked! I end up liking a lot of OC submissions here, so don't fret if I don't pick you

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 17 days ago

OC DRINKS!

I was gonna draw some of my male OCs too but I got really tired, mb. I still might do it though, but I’m not too sure how much motivation I have left in me to research drinks that fit my OCs’ aesthetic and taste ~_~

Nonetheless, as tired as I got in the middle of drawing, this was really fun to draw. I’d say the slight burnout I got was worth it lol

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 17 days ago

The Friday sketches from a while ago are done!

I was gonna post this with the full render/bg, but that would mean that people would've had to wait ages as I am still not done with that (I hate finals week)

Credits:

Yara by u/BasilSerpent

Theena by u/Even_Classic6119 

Fernkiller by u/ShadowTheChangeling 

Ironic by u/Munnz06 

Christen by u/Physical-Camp-339 

Aria by u/Prof_Alchem

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 1 month ago

Sketching 6 OCs and fully rendering + drawing a background for 1! (READ DESC + swipe for previous offers)

I finally have time to do this again!

RULES

  • SUBMIT ONE (1) OC
  • Don't DM me or give me an external link
  • YAP ABOUT YOUR OC. Anywhere from a few sentences to a few paragraphs is enough. I consider the character (e.g. personality, lore, interests) while drawing
  • Nothing overly complex. I can draw detailed designs, but please do not give me a design that has a bunch of tiny little details
    • Also, send the clearest image you have of your OC, whether it be ref sheets, sprites, etc.
  • I am more comfortable drawing humans/humanoids (sorry)
    • Vaguely humanoid counts btw
  • OCs will be selected just from what I like. If there happens to be a lot of OCs I like, I'll randomly select them
  • COMPLIMENT OTHER PEOPLE'S OCS!! You don't have to do everyone ofc

FOR BACKGROUND:

TELL ME ABOUT THE SETTING OF YOUR OC: when doing so, please give me some descriptors and other details as well! For example, if you're gonna say a forest, is it magical? Is it snowy? Is it dark? Be a little specific for me please!

Remember: no hard feelings if you're not picked! I end up liking a lot of OC submissions here, so don't fret if I don't pick you

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 1 month ago

lowkey it's been a while here just have this convo between these two (read body)

>“Tell me Asteria: if I know nothing about love, then could you… no, who am I kidding. You’ll never bother to. And for good reason—I probably can’t understand it anyway.”

Nihil and Asteria's breakup in 4K ultra HD (Nihil is the one trying to rizz, and Asteria is ashamed of Nihil)

Feel free to ask questions about these two as well! I love them and their dynamic :))

I'm thinking of making another post here soon, maybe an introduction to an AU or a new OC idk

u/hi_i_kinda_exist — 2 months ago