5 AM vent— arrrghhh!!!
Anxious and frustrated as hell, although the anger might just be my brain’s way of coping with the anxiety.
Met up with my younger sibling, our stepfather and his current girlfriend (we’ll call her K) for a sleepover in preparation for a downtown trip the next day. She mentioned offhand that she had a garlic intolerance before chowing down on some leftover Olive Garden noodles. I laughed it off at the time, and was sympathetic when she mentioned being in pain, but thought nothing of it.
Woke up in the middle of the night (around 30-45 minutes ago?) to the sound of K puking in the bathroom. It’s a somewhat small house so I was able to cover my ears relatively quickly, but the sound of repeated, albeit muffled “coughing” was unmistakable. I stole my sibling’s cheap headphones and am currently blasting some white noise to drown out the sound; I’ll have to apologize for draining the battery in the morning.
I suppose I’m just…annoyed, in a way? As I said before, this is probably just my brain trying to cope with the anxiety, but now that the initial panic has subsided I’m left with a frustrated “Man, why would K do that to herself if she knew what would happen?!”, but then I remember that I’ve also eaten food that would cause me gastrointestinal distress (lactose intolerance represent!), so I guess I can’t throw stones from a glass house. Just trying to figure out how I’m going to sleep with this loud droning noise in my ears now. I also have to use the restroom myself, cruel irony there lol.
The more I think about it, even though I’m still actively in the situation while typing this, I am pretty proud of myself for not spiraling completely. I was panicking in the moment, yes, but I tried to take deep breaths and account for my physical symptoms (racing heart, sweating, etc) before I thought of a temporary solution. I know what I need to work on for the future, and I know to grab a set of headphones to take with me to places now!