u/holdonimreadingrn

My husband just turned 36 and is a very active and healthy guy. On Friday, July 24th he was complaining about tingly hands and feet. Saturday the 25th he was struggling to walk so he went to the ER and was admitted with suspected GBS, they didn’t actually diagnose for like a week.

Since then he has been to IMCU and now the ICU. He had IVIG treatment on the 25/26th. He’s been on the ventilator for about a week now. They tried to take it out at one point but his heart rate ended up tanking and they put it back in. They also found he had pneumonia but I think that’s cleared up now. He is so anxious that they keep him sedated most of the time. :(

Today, they are putting the trach in. His mom is so freaked out about it and it’s causing me to freak out even though all of the drs have reassured me that this will be much better.

After the trach is in, in a few days he will be moved to a speciality hospital.

I am just looking for support and some success stories in similar situations. This guy is my person and I’m holding on to these stories and will be sharing with him when he is able to hear them.

This weekend we were going to the beach for little family getaway. I took my 5 year old Golden Retriever to a boarding place/doggy day camp that he’d been to many times and always had fun

Saturday night, we got a call that he was throwing up and not quite himself and so someone either needed to pick him up or he needs to go to the vet. It didn’t sound like anything he hadn’t been through before, just a little sick so we called our friend to go get him. They insisted on taking him to the vet anyway.

Later, we got a call that his stomach flipped and he was in danger of dying and he didn’t have much time. We asked if he could be stable until we got there, they said no. We took about a loan for him to have surgery. They assured us that he is young and healthy so he should recover fine.

After surgery they said everything is fine, some heart stuff that was normal and if he eats we could take him home that evening. We made the 6 hour drive home and we got the call that his recovery took a turn for the worse and he needed another surgery.

Unfortunately, another surgery was not in the cards. We went to the hospital to see if there was any chance our boy would survive. They told us that without that surgery, there was nothing that could be done. They said it was no one’s fault, that this just happens sometimes.

We made the hardest decision we have ever made. I knew it would be hard. I didn’t know it would be THAT hard. Thank God we made it home and got to be with him at the end.

I’m crushed. Heartbroken. Devastated. It’s actually killing me inside that I’m in unbelievable grief and it feels like no one understands the gravity of it. It feels like I lost the heart and soul of our family and people are like, “that’s a bummer.” No, I feel like a part of myself is lost forever it’s not a “bummer.” Now I feel dramatic but that’s how I feel. Every time I start feeling like maybe I’ve cried all my tears it’ll just hit me again.

I miss him so much that sometimes I cant breathe. I keep playing the moment the vet said he no longer has a heartbeat over and over.

I know it’s only been a few days but when does this end?