ABCD Brown Girls acting weird with me
31M. I have been on dates with over 10 brown women over the course of 2 years and acted respectful, mixed some wholesome humor to flirt, nothing sexual, initiated hand holding and hugging early on but never slept with them
In fact I never bought into the idea of sleeping with women to “play the game” and am a strong believer of the traditional route of nuclear family. I only want to sleep with them if we genuinely love each other after 2-3 months. That being said I’m doing well for myself: $650k NW, $200k TC, fair skinned (if that even matters), 6 ft, slender but not too skinny, and into sports and board games. I grew up as an ABCD but primarily not in schools where other ABCDs went to. I am well aware that I’m not a conventional ABCD who got into one of the cliques like everyone else and basically formed my own identity over the years. I am an established Bay Area native with a good relationship with my parents. I never fell into the “I can’t stand my parents and I’m gonna move out to be independent” crowd. They’re also understanding of my lack of progress in dating after I explained the behavior from these women.
Few observations I made from my dates:
Brown women love to treat brown men like trash/worthless if they don’t fit into their definition of attractive and abandon the relationship out of convenience with generic reasons over text (sometimes over calls). They all have the “move into an established man’s life” mentality instead of the “let’s build a better life for each other together” mentality that I was hoping for even when I explicitly pleaded for it. Some even shamelessly respond to dating app prompts with misandry (ex: “Good men are just average women”).
I don’t go in for a kiss that easily. I feel like that messes up every person’s ability to pair bond genuinely if they go around kissing people so easily. I don’t have an established circle of brown friends but am friends with 5 of them all in their own respective circles and occasionally float around in their circles or with them together in 1 circle. This one is slightly on me, but at the same time I felt like I have to fall prey into the group dynamic if I want to be in one.
That being said I don’t want to go for the recently moved in Indian women with all their family ties back in India. I think I’m reaching the conclusion that I have to find someone outside of my race atp. However, how I should do that is not clear for me. I just want a loyal woman who will occasionally put up with my flaws and I will with her and we frequently communicate concerns with each other and help each other have a better life and become a better person but apparently that’s too much to ask for