u/hoobastaank

28F (have no brothers) discussing with boyfriend (28M) about these customs where he is saying his parents won’t even fathom it. There are multiple issues alongside this one since we both have very different ideas around gender roles and if this relationship does not work out, I’ll be entering the AM setup and hence wanted a clear understanding for those who are already in this process.

A. How many of y’all were able to hyphenate mother’s last name with the father’s for your baby. (I know this is a common practice in the west)

B. How many of y’all decided to give mother’s last name as the middle name for the baby with father’s last name

I think a mother deals with so much from the day she gets pregnant to child birth and then some. It changes you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and it seems only fair that mother has some form of vote in the baby’s first AND last name.

Now I understand this is not at all common. But just want to know how often does this happen / how many women are able to stand up against patriarchy? Please also include if you live in India/Abroad

Edit - I don’t mind creating a new last name that’s a mix of both of our names/last names. Just want some form of equality in there so want to know how open are Indian men and their families are for this particular train of thought.

28F (have no brothers) discussing with boyfriend (28M) about these customs where he is saying his parents won’t even fathom it.

A. How many of y’all were able to hyphenate mother’s last name with the father’s for your baby. (I know this is a common practice in the west)

B. How many of y’all decided to give mother’s last name as the middle name for the baby with father’s last name

I think a mother deals with so much from the day she gets pregnant to child birth and then some. It changes you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and it seems only fair that mother has some form of vote in the baby’s first AND last name.

Now I understand this is not at all common. But just want to know how often does this happen / how many mothers are able to stand up against patriarchy? Please also include if you live in India/Abroad

Edit - I don’t mind creating a new last name that’s a mix of both of our names/last names. Just want some form of equality in there so want to know how open are Indian men and their families are for this particular train of thought. Bf, rn, agrees with me but I’m afraid he will feel guilty later on for letting his parents down.