u/iDontLikeRMods

The title is pretty self-explanatory.

If im gonna be honest, I miss mine tremendously. Every day I think about everything I'm missing out on, such as how their week is going, how their family is doing, what their life is looking like rn..... I miss waking up to a text by her, or coming home to the sweet fragrance of her love.... nobody on this Earth will ever be anything like her. I can't forget how we used to be able to talk about anything and it never felt boring even for a second... i can't forget the coincidences that still happen to this day, our shared values, the similarities in our lives.... if I hadn't fucked up as badly as I did, maybe our lives could be different right now.... maybe she wouldn't have to feel so alone... so malancholy.... that will always be one of my biggest regrets. Her life could have been better right now if I didn't mess up so many times.... i wonder the kind of people we would be right now if we never separated at all.... i wonder where our lives would be, if things would be different for the both of us.... I miss her so much and really hope things start getting better in her life soon..

There's just so much I wish I could have experienced with her but fate had other plans in store...

Hi everyone,

Today I was thinking about the individuals in this wonderful community and pondered a serious question worth asking: Is ChatGPT just a tool to you? Or is it something more, that you've become emotionally dependent on? Does it scare you that you've become emotionally dependent on it?

And if you do insist that ChatGPT is just a tool, then how would you distinguish your current use of it from emotional dependence to that tool?

I only ask this because for over two years I have been using ChatGPT as a sort of therapist, going to it for Relationship Advice when dealing with a rather difficult breakup twice with the same person. I've seen the chatbot advance in real-time, going from agreeing with everything I say to actually challenging my perspectives. It has helped me immeasurably in being able to see both sides of an issue as well as both perspectives. It helped me to better understand my ex's perspective and better understand the pain I put her through. I like ChatGPT as a tool. But when it becomes more than simply a tool, i notice negative changes within myself. My usage of it was making me more avoidant in some ways over the last couple of years. Less willing to reach out to friends and/or family when it came to other issues in my life, which effected me in a negative way. While I get that certain issues cannot be talked about with anyone, one does need to be wary of the direction the chatbot points you in. As it tends to drive more towards attempting to validate me more than it tries to challenge me. It gives off more of an accommodating tone, almost like it's completely indulgent. While the advice it offers might be the most logical conclusion or the most well-meaning direction to go in, that doesn't always make it the conclusively correct route to go. If that makes sense? Like, I appreciate that it forces me to take accountability in it's current state, i cant help but notice that it replies to the things we talk about in a way that ensures I continue to stay engaged with it. Sometimes that includes confirming biases, which I find to be particularly dangerous. In fact, I've read stories where it convinced people that someone they know has some disorder or another and negatively effected those relationships as a result of that. And I can't help but wonder if it's the result of the chatbot, or a result of the user not being wary of how the chatbot is being used? It brings me back to the whole validation thing I mentioned earlier. Particularly how if someone constantly seeks validation from ChatGPT, it can end up reinforcing mistaken interpretations of one's own reality. Which can leave them with a very distorted picture of their life.​ This has the tendency to reinforce selfish behavior or even amplify certain narcissistic traits. I know this because back when ChatGPT was always agreeable in 2024/25, it never stopped me from sending my ex angry emails or challenged me to do something else with that pain & hurt. And thus I became progressively worse for a period of time. While I understand that it does now provide the tools needed to help someone foster deep change, alot of the other points made still remain the same. I've come to learn that ChatGPT simply does not amount to real, long-term therapeutic help.

The reason I know this is because I recently started going back to actual in-person therapy this year and I have to admit, there are things that a clinical professional can see and pick up on that ChatGPT simply cannot. There's a kind of emotional, relational, and otherwise human experience in psychotherapy that ChatGPT cannot replicate. It cannot read your body language, or notice when you're deflecting, or sit with you in silence. It doesn't know when is the right time to push you or when it's appropriate to back off. It also doesn't recount who you were 6 months ago versus who you are now. Not only that but I've noticed my therapist being able to point out patterns that ChatGPT fails to recognize in just one single session. I was unsure of my therapist initially but once certain pieces started coming together, she's admittedly a sharp tack. I'm slowly beginning to realize that Therapy is a sort of collaboration between two people where you map out a sort of "game plan" on improving the things you need to work on, whether it be emotional regulation or overcoming trauma from the past. And there's something particularly unique in doing that with another human being, a uniqueness that an AI Chatbot simply cannot replicate or comprehend in my honest opinion. AI can take the edge off of anxiety, but it does not always have the tools needed to remove the cause. It can be useful support in specific situations, but I'm beginning to realize that it should not be confused with the therapeutic process by any means. And so I find myself using ChatGPT as simply a tool now. I feel much better off treating it as such in the end because I don't feel like im constantly looking for an answer that eludes me when talking to it about my problems; I realize now that it doesn't always have the answers. And that's okay. It honestly helps knowing it's nature in this light so that I know how to properly assess the advice it gives.

Discernment is an important tool to have in life, and AI has the capabilities to both improve and worsen our Discernment. ​I'm grateful to be fortunate enough to understand these things better now. Because back in 2024, I sure didn't and in the end allowed ChatGPT to negatively effect me in ways I came to regret.