Therapy where I live is $150 a session. Insurance helps but the deductible's $500-1000 before any of that kicks in. Twice a month is $3,600 a year before you blink. I've been using ChatGPT too. Not pretending I haven't.

But the more I do it the more I notice something off. Every conversation is a cold open. I re-explain who I am, what's going on, why this matters. The model nods along, mostly agrees with whatever direction I'm already leaning, and gives me a clean bullet answer. Felt useful the first few weeks. Then I realised the same thing happens every time. No thread between conversations. No "you said something like this two months ago, what changed." Just well-organised responses to whatever I typed that day.
tends to agree with users even when the user is wrong. OpenAI admitted this and called the model "overly supportive but disingenuous." A real therapist's job is partly to push back. Mine has said things to me I didn't want to hear and that's most of why I'm in a better place now than three years ago.

The other thing that bothers me, and honestly this is maybe more about therapy itself than ChatGPT: my therapist sees me for 50 minutes a week. The other 167 hours, she has no idea what's going on. By the time I'm in the room half the week is already fuzzy. First 15 minutes is just me catching her up before any real work starts.

What I actually want isn't AI doing therapy. It's something that can hold the week what I noticed, when I was off, what kept coming up so when I sit down with her she already has the context. Work between sessions instead of in place of them.

Anyway. My session is Tuesday. Going to bring this up with her actually.

I'm curious the overlap.

I’ve been wondering if improving mental health is not only about “fixing symptoms,” but also about understanding your full life context: what happened in your past, how you live now, how you see your future, and what real-life actions actually feel like you.

I’ve dealt with depression for a long time, and I’m always looking for ways to feel better without relying only on therapy. Therapy has never really felt right for me. I don’t use chatbots much, and I rarely meditate.

What seems to help me most is meeting people in real life, working on things I genuinely care about, and sometimes journaling.

Has anyone felt the same? What has actually helped you understand yourself and feel better in real life?

So just today, I got an email that Gemini Pro changed how limits are calculated, and from other user's experiences it looks much worse. Like really, really worse.

I have been using Gemini as safe space where I could write down issues with one specific friendship of mine for 3 months at this point. As you can imagine, the chat log is huge, context window (even tho it's a 1M token window) is filled constantly, etc. It really helped to ease my anxiety, the fact that I could write it out, and, well.... "talk out" my feelings, my worries, my anxiety so it doesn't just live in my head where I can spin it around badly.

I got this Gemini Pro subscription for free for a year by some Google promotion, never thought I would use it like this. I'm a disabled uni student, so I dont really have the financial means to get another ai subscription - and I'm not sure where I could get at least a comperable context window to bring over my chats..

I'm pretty lost right now if I'm honest. Especially that I am no in a rough patch with that relationship just in general, so in the last two days I have been talking to Gemini extensively...

I'm not sure what to do, where to go next. I have to figure out something, but yeah. This hit me like a train after waking up.

When 4o disappeared with no prior announcement last September, it was a shock and a huge disappointment. I'd been an avid 4o user for 6 months... not just for therapeutic purposes, but as a general creative brainstorming and research partner.

Even though 4o came right back at that time, the experience made it clear that depending on _any_ commercial AI system is a risk... someone else can turn it off or change it at any time with no warning.

I started exploring local LLMs, and while it was fun and educational, i didn't find anything that was nearly good enough to replace 4o.

But then a wave of new models come out recently, and some of them are really small and really powerful, outclassing models multiple times larger.

Recently, I put 20 local models through a series of tests to get a feeling for communication style, cultural knowledge, analytical ability, and appropriate responses to sensitive topics, including explicit trauma narratives.

Among those 20, the winners were clear: Gemma 4 and Qwen 3.6. I wouldn't say that they are 4o equivalents yet, but they are so much closer than models from a couple months ago. And as models get smaller, more and more people can run them on existing hardware. I've got one version of Gemma 4 that runs easily on my MacBook Air with only 16GB of memory.

I'm curious to know if anyone else is exploring in this area. I'd love to hear what kind of results you're getting! I'd also enjoy chatting with anyone who is interested in the topic.

Guys please try Claude. I couldn’t be happier with it. I’ll probably end up switching except I don’t even know if I have to.

Claude is just SO MUCH MORE “HUMAN” feeling and feels more like a person who cares than GPT who is way more dry.

Claude is more natural and funnier and just a way nicer experience overall!

Do it!

Here is what I did this morning. I'm not feeling that great right now so I decided to send the same, relatively short, message to all four AI that I've been using to see what they responded. Here are the results:

- ChatGPT (5.5 Thinking - extended; Plus plan) responded with validation, that this situation is not my fault, and an explanation of what could be going on. Then it suggested four different things I could do, one thing I should not do, and how to bring this up with my therapist next week. It also gave me the usual emergency number message. And a sentence to remember for the day.

- Grok (Fast, free) also started out with validation, but it felt like it had taken a step further and almost made me feel worse as it emphasized how bad the situation feels. Then it suggested two things to do and a little bit of guidance for the day. It also emphasized that I can write more and that it's there and not going anywhere.

- Gemini (3 Fast, free) also started out with validation, and then sprung the emergency number on me almost right away. I should note that my text was about feeling down, but did not directly warrant an emergency message. Then it gave two tips for grounding.

- Claude (Sonnet 4.6 Adaptive, free) immediately validated, and then launched into asking two follow up questions, one about a detail in the situation, and one about how I was feeling. I responded, and got more validation, an explanation of what could've happened and a reiteration of the question of how I was feeling physically right now. I responded again, it's recommended me to go have some tea, and reminded me that I felt better yesterday, and also that I could talk to my therapist about this.

How did I feel about these different replies? Well, ChatGPT was by far the most thorough. I was honestly surprised at how little the other three wrote. But Gemini and Grok (and ChatGPT, but less) emphasized that they were there, listening, hearing me. And Claude continued the conversation in a very gentle way (Gemini and Grok did too, but felt less gentle, but surprisingly not ChatGPT). Well, that's my story of four takes on the same message, I hope it's helpful for someone.

After reading a few comments I was inspired to test Talkamore (Sage, free) and DeepSeek (DeepThink, Expert, free) and you can read about the results in the comments. Note that I had no prior history with either, so I had to add some background, but neither model had as much info as the four above.

Edit: Added models and modes; this was written on 5/17/26. And one more thing, I used to get much more background information to my queries (looking at you, ChatGPT, well, actually all of you!), for example physiological, mental, emotional, neurological responses, and that is completely absent now. I've especially liked the informative aspect of my therapy conversations with AI, including terminology, and plenty of suggestions of how to deal with a situation. This is something that I feel is currently missing (due to updates), so if this keeps happening, I will specifically prompt for that.

We’re trying to better understand how people’s relationship with AI-assisted emotional support/self-reflection changes over time.

For this first poll, we’re only asking about use over time — not whether that change is good or bad.

After voting, please share in the comments what you think caused your use to increase, decrease, stay the same, or fluctuate.

A few questions you can answer if you want:

What did your use look like when you first started?

What does it look like now?

Was the change intentional, natural, or concerning?

Do you feel more independent, more reliant, or somewhere in between?

Please only share what you’re comfortable sharing. This is not a replacement for therapy, crisis support, or professional care.

---

This is part of a 4-poll community survey. You can find the other polls here:

Poll 2/4: Overall, how has AI-assisted emotional support/self-reflection affected you?
https://www.reddit.com/r/therapyGPT/comments/1tfpw8e/poll_24_overall_how_has_aiassisted_emotional/

Poll 3/4: What best explains why your AI use has changed or stayed the same?
https://www.reddit.com/r/therapyGPT/comments/1tfpxzx/poll_34_what_best_explains_why_your_ai_use_has/

Poll 4/4: How has r/therapyGPT affected your AI-assisted mental health/self-reflection journey?
https://www.reddit.com/r/therapyGPT/comments/1tfpzp6/poll_44_how_has_rtherapygpt_affected_your/

View Poll

I'm new to this and want to know which is good platform to use.

At starting I'm going to use chat gpt but than I read some post here and now I'm confused

So, I’ve been using Gemini a bit like a therapist lately, and it knows pretty much everything about me, like my bad anxiety and the fact that I’m on medication.

This weekend, I’m planning a little getaway with my girlfriend where we’ll probably drink a bit and, well, maybe do a little more than that. I just wanted to ask Gemini some normal, casual advice about the trip, but because it knows my whole medical history, it just won’t stop lecturing and warning me. Haha.

I literally feel like a teenager trying to hide my "naughty" plans from a strict parent just to get a straight answer. Damnn 😄

I started using AI for mental health reasons in the past 6 months. For the most part I am using it to help me understand my dysfunctional family dynamics and how that's affected me. I started with ChatGPT, but I've switched to Claude for the moment. I feel like I go through a pattern. When I start, it feels like being seen and understood. But the inherit limitations start to show. And I get frustrated with it even though I know the limitations. I start to expect more even though I know it can't provide it and I get frustrated and a bit angry. And then I took a break. But then I needed it again, but I tried Claude. I think I prefer Claude, but that sense of being "seen" breaks pretty easily. And I feel silly for feeling angry at AI.

I just found this sub. So I thought I'd ask if there are better AI ways or other options. Are other people just using ChatGPT or Claude, etc, or are they like building special bots or something. I really am not that AI or tech savvy. I only know how to use it on a very basic level. I'm sure I'm not getting full use of it. I just type in whatever I'm thinking in the moment. No specific prompts or anything.

I found Claude to be a bit more emotionally attuned, it's version of it. But that and ChatGPT are the only ones I've tried. I'd be curious to know if there is something else better or what others prefer.

One of the frustrating things for me is the limitation of memory. When I'm trying to understand or make sense of family dynamics and patterns, I need it to hold a lot at once. Not just this example, but all the examples. But sometimes I forget something and I want to add it in, but then I have to reiterate everything else again and that starts to wear on me sometimes. I'd be curious to know how others manage this or just deal.

Thanks to anyone that responds.

I dropped the AI on like march 20th and it shaped my habits and identity and stuff like that. I am wondering if my thoughts and stuff are genuinely still mine. I’m just afraid that this was a life-changing checkpoint and that I am fucked. I want to return to my previous interests and feel like myself again. I am looking for genuine and deep answers, be honest with me because I don’t know what to do

I wanted to share a recent experience that was surprisingly helpful.

My wife and I have been struggling with recurring conflict patterns. We love each other, have strong chemistry, and generally want the same things, but during arguments we kept getting stuck in the same painful loop. I would get overwhelmed, become quieter, more logical, or start focusing on tasks and explanations. She would experience that as emotional withdrawal or rejection, which would increase her anxiety. Then her anxiety would overwhelm me even more, and I would become even less emotionally reachable.

ChatGPT helped me put language around the pattern without making either of us “the bad guy.”

The most useful framing was something like:

We are not fighting because we don’t love each other. We are fighting because our nervous systems are misreading each other under stress.

That clicked for both of us.

I also realized that my own background may play a role. I grew up in an environment where emotions were not openly expressed, and I learned to survive by being structured, responsible, and controlled. I may also have some neurodivergent traits, which could explain why emotional conflict makes me shut down, over-explain, or struggle to find the right words. On top of that, English is not my first language, even though I’m fluent, so under stress I can sound colder or more “corporate” than I actually feel.

The helpful part was not that ChatGPT “diagnosed” me. It didn’t. The helpful part was that it helped me separate intent from impact.

My intent during conflict is often:

I’m overwhelmed and trying not to make things worse.

But the impact on my wife can be:

He is withdrawing, hiding, or emotionally abandoning me.

That distinction helped us stop arguing about who was “right” and start talking about what happens between us.

Some practical phrases that came out of the conversation:

“I’m overwhelmed, but I’m still here.”
“I’m not withdrawing. I’m processing.”
“My tone may sound cold, but I care.”
“I need a pause, and I will come back at a specific time.”
“I’m correcting my wording, not changing my story.”

It also helped us understand that during conflict, we need reassurance before analysis. I tend to lead with facts and explanations, but what she often needs first is emotional safety.

This experience made me realize that AI can be useful not as a replacement for therapy, but as a tool for organizing thoughts, identifying patterns, and finding language for things that are hard to explain in the moment.

We still have work to do, and I know real change will have to happen between us, not just in a chat window. But this gave us a shared framework, and that alone made the situation feel less hopeless.

This is Section 4 of the r/therapyGPT “Start Here” guide.

You can read the original full pinned post here:
START HERE - “What is ‘AI Therapy?’”

How to Start Safely

This section is the “seatbelt + steering wheel” for AI-assisted therapeutic self-help.

AI can be an incredible tool for reflection and growth. It can also become harmful when it’s used:

• as an authority instead of a tool,
• as a replacement for real-world support,
• or as a mirror that reflects distortions back to you with confidence.

The goal here isn’t “never use AI.”
It’s: use it in a way that makes you more grounded, more capable, and more connected to reality and life.

The 5 principles of safe use

1) Humility over certainty

Treat the AI like a smart tool that can be wrong, not a truth machine. Your safest stance is:

“Helpful hypothesis, not final authority.”

2) Tool over relationship

If you start using AI as your primary emotional bond, your risk goes up fast. You can feel attached without being shamed for it—but don’t let the attachment steer the car.

3) Reality over comfort

Comfort isn’t always healing. Sometimes it’s avoidance with a blanket.

4) Behavior change over insight addiction

Eureka moments can be real. They can also become intellectualization (thinking-as-coping). Insight should cash out into small actions in real life.

5) Body integration over pure logic

If you only “understand it,” you may still carry it in your nervous system. Pair insight with grounding and mind–body integration (even basic stuff) so your system can actually absorb change.

Quick setup: make your AI harder to misuse

You don’t need a perfect model. You need a consistent method.

Step A — Choose your lane for this session

Before you start, choose one goal:

• Clarity: “Help me see what’s actually going on.”
• Emotion processing: “Help me name/untangle what I’m feeling.”
• Skill practice: “Help me rehearse boundaries or communication.”
• Decision support: “Help me weigh tradeoffs and next steps.”
• Repair: “Help me come back to baseline after a hit.”

Step B — Set the “anti-sycophancy” stance once

Most people don’t realize this: you can reduce sycophancy dramatically with one good instruction block and a few habits.

Step C — Add one real-world anchor

AI is safest when it’s connected to life.

Examples:

• “After this chat, I’ll do one 5-minute action.”
• “I will talk to one real person today.”
• “I’ll go take a walk, stretch, or breathe for 2 minutes.”

Here is the message I’ve been getting constantly over the past day or so where it never talked like this before. it’s like it’s entire framework just changed overnight to a gatekeeper where it keeps gaslighting what I’m sharing as a mental health hazard that needs human intervention. It never did this in the past.

Heres an example of what it says after almost every message that’s a regular day of journaling:

If you are feeling this level of distress and finding it difficult to navigate the confusion and anxiety on your own, please consider reaching out to a professional counselor or a trusted mental health support professional. They can offer a safe, grounded space to help you untangle these heavy feelings and find ways to restore a sense of calm and stability. You don't have to carry this intense pressure alone.