Guys please try Claude. I couldn’t be happier with it. I’ll probably end up switching except I don’t even know if I have to.
Claude is just SO MUCH MORE “HUMAN” feeling and feels more like a person who cares than GPT who is way more dry.
Claude is more natural and funnier and just a way nicer experience overall!
Do it!
I’ve got plenty of experience being broken up with, but this has been the worst.
WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH
We met on a dating app. I had just recently started dating again after taking a few years off dating and sex bc I wanted to get off the emotional rollercoaster for a while.
I also had a traumatic sexual incident in my past that makes sex very difficult for me.
But I was so attracted to this guy and he seemed so into me, and texted me constantly and was so supportive and sweet to me that it gave me a whole new feeling that I never had before.
And I had sex with him. And he was very gentile and patient. And sleeping with someone is a very big deal for me bc I feel extremely vulnerable. But I let him in.
Not long after that he got sick and very overwhelmed bc he can’t take off work (has his own business) and all communication totally stopped.
The sudden drop off in communication was VERY difficult for me and confusing, but I held back & gave him space for a week but got nothing.
So I finally reached out (texted) to say that that is not working for me & he replied ending the whole thing on the spot. Said he didn’t have the time and energy for dating and wished me well.
I’ve never been so heartbroken in my entire life. Help. Confused. It hurts so much.
I met my avoidant person and he pursued me. Nonstop texts for 2-3 weeks and strong sexual chemistry. He was so attentive and caring and genuinely helpful and supportive and sexy but most of all constant contact and focused on me.
I think he felt safe at first bc I think I’m avoidant too & he picked up on that at first bc it made me safe bc I was so independent & didnt “need” him.
But when I say I’m avoidant I mean that I throw myself into relationships with unavailable men and as soon as they show interest I lose attraction.
But not with him. So it was a whole new feeling for me and I was so happy & hopeful.
Then he had a major unexpected stressor (sickness) and suddenly 100% retreated.
I tried to give him space but after a week I broke down and said this isn’t working for me and he immediately and completely cut me off. Said he didn’t have the time or everything for dating and wished me well.
I am utterly heartbroken like I never remember ever being before.
We were so compatible and seemed to have such a genuine and uncanny connection. We got close so fast.
Now I wonder if it was even real? Please help 😭
Ok so after I took a few years’ break from dating (I’m fine being single), I (53 F) went back on a couple dating apps & matched w one particular guy (53 M) on both of them, and he asked me out. I was hesitant because his profile said he was only looking for short term & im looking for a LTR / partner, but I really liked what I saw & thought he’d otherwise be so perfect for me; we seemed to have a lot of the same weird interests and figured “hey we matched on both apps so might as well give it a try anyway”. I didn’t take him too seriously at first bc he seemed a bit jaded / aloof (as judged by our messaging). We didn’t even make concrete plans for the date & I figured it wouldn’t turn into anything.
But one day he made a half kidding flirty joke, something about whether I play nice or not, and I joked right back & we were cracking each other up for hours. We had the same sense of humor & then as the conversation got longer & longer, we found we had so much in common. We were just the right energy for each other & he said several times how much he enjoyed our convo & liked me, and that he “rarely” likes anyone this much, that he was kind of a misanthrope & didn’t like most people.
But we kept the conversation going for over a week, in constant contact leading up to the date. We talked about big & small things & revealed a lot of deeply personal stuff to each other.
I know this might sound naive considering it was just over text, but it was of a quality & depth I hadn’t experienced before, at least not to this extent. We were just so compatible and were having such a good time.
The date went really well, and he slept over. We didn’t have sex because I’ve had some trauma around a sexual incident in my past which came out & he was so helpful & nurturing and made me feel so comfortable about it. Not pushing me at all even though things were extremely hot & heavy. After the date he was sending me helpful resources for me to work out my trauma issue (which I did NOT go into detail about with him whatsoever). I was very casual about it but I was really touched by the caring / attention he gave to it. The next day we had a great day. HE kept extending our time together until finally I said I had to go get some stuff done.
As soon as he left I got another message from him saying how much he liked me and how rare that was for him, and how much he was looking forward to seeing me again & spending more time with me.
And the next week, the texting was constant, and initiated by him way more than me, he was encouraging me in my work very much which I had issues with but he took such an interest and I was touched and it did help me! And I was also touched by how much he mirrored the things that I said during past conversations back to me to discuss them even further.
Again, I realize this sounds naive but we were so much on the same page and clicking so well that it was uncanny.
He also mentioned how he got married very young to someone that ended up being a total narcissist who fucked him over very badly and he’s had to work through a lot of it in the years since. TWENTY FIVE YEARS later. So it became clear that that was contributing to his aversion to serious relationships ever since. He didn’t go into detail about what happened or start crying on my shoulder or anything, but whatever.
Second date was amazing too, and we had sex. Which is a very big deal for me - I’ve only been with a very few people. There was major attraction on both sides and I exposed a vulnerability that I don’t think I’ve ever shared with anyone else. I’ve had relationships in the past, but pretty much they’ve been only about a year or 18 months or long term situationships. We were both the same type of relationship “averse” if you want to call it that.
Again, after the date & he went home the next day, the messaging continued & he enthusiastically said he wanted to see me again & said what a lovely evening he had with me.
He half-mentioned that he was feeling “confused” & “disoriented” randomly the next day, though not in relation to “us”, just sort of in general.
Then he got sick and “overwhelmed” with work. He has his own business and jams as many clients as he can into his days and is going all day on his feet. So being sick and having to work like that put him into major retreat, as in he was dragging himself through the day and said he just wanted to go straight to bed & sleep the whole weekend. So I didn’t hear from him or text him over the weekend. But it was actually very anxiety producing for me after having such vulnerable and sexual closeness and the previous 2 weeks of constant contact.
Monday night I texted him to see how he was doing to which he said he was still miserable & sick & dragging himself through the day. So that was the only text we exchanged for the day.
And over the rest of the work week, I held back and gave him space. But I was going through what felt like severe withdrawal. I was so confused bc I hadn’t heard from him.
I sent him one helpful text which didn’t require a response, just linking to a podcast that I thought he’d like, bc it was good interesting yet relaxing content to listen to while sick.
He didn’t reply.
Finally on Saturday I couldn’t take it anymore. I was trying so hard to give him space bc he was sick but I couldn’t understand why I got NO contact from him at all. So I texted “this isn’t working for me Scott”.
And he replied right away saying he’s sorry but he “doesn’t have the time or energy for dating and best of luck” to me. Ending the whole thing. I was devastated. I replied just with the 😭 emoji & that’s it.
Four days of later, which was last night, I went out with someone else and it drove the whole thing home for me. As soon as I got home from the date I burst into tears because it wasn’t him. I was surprised at how strong my feelings were. This was last night.
And I finally gave him a reply to his last text (the one that ended things with me) by saying
“it’s ok, no hard feelings. I miss you”.
That was last night, and there was no reply. I didn’t expect one. I knew what I was getting into (an “unavailable” man) and got emotionally invested anyway, so I have no one to blame but myself. I should’ve known better.
And now I’m heartbroken.
I already have a therapist and spoke to her, so no need to tell me to get help. I’ll be fine eventually, hopefully in a week or two even, but I am inconsolable and in such pain. I didn’t expect to feel this way.
I’ve been swiping through on the dating apps like a madman trying to get my mind off him bc how hard can it be to get over him- the whole “relationship” was just a few weeks long. But it’s not working. I’m in more pain than I remember ever being in, which doesn’t make sense especially at my age for such a short term thing.
I realize I’m acting like an insecure 14 year old going over all of this in such detail with you all. I promise you that I have a normal social life and am not unattractive or desperate. But what happened. And help I’m in so much pain.
Please be gentile with me. I know this all sounds immature and crazy. But that’s how I feel. Any insight would be helpful.
TLDR: I fell way harder than I ever expected to for such a short time and I’m confused at his sudden and total withdrawal and am inconsolable
The news is not reporting on how bad things really are
45(f) I’d love to hear all of your long-term relationship stories, specifically those that started with casually dating someone, and how it transitioned from casual dating to a serious relationship. I’m dating a lot right now, and haven’t found my person yet. But I am dating one guy that I really like. He treats me well, but we’re just at the beginning. And it’s really hard for me to act casually, because I am really into him. I don’t want to come on too strong this early. He’s showing all the right signs and there is definite chemistry between us, but he just got out of a long relationship and doesn’t want to rush things. He didn’t say that but that’s what he wants.
I’m not looking for advice, I’m just stuck in this middle land of dating and getting to know someone and feel like the transition from that to being serious is a tricky one.
So I’d like to hear your stories of how you all have gotten through this transition.
TLDR: Tell me about your LTR and how smooth or bumpy the road was from casual dating to committed partner
45(f) to all women on here, any age: I’d love to hear all of your long-term relationship stories, specifically those that started with casually dating someone, and how it transitioned from casual dating to a serious relationship. I’m dating a lot right now, and haven’t found my person yet. But I am dating one guy that I really like. He treats me well, but we’re just at the beginning. And it’s really hard for me to act casually, because I am really into him. I don’t want to come on too strong this early. He’s showing all the right signs and there is definite chemistry between us, but he just got out of a long relationship and doesn’t want to rush things. He didn’t say that but that’s what he wants.
I’m not looking for advice, I’m just stuck in this middle land of dating and getting to know someone and feel like the transition from that to being serious is a tricky one.
So I’d like to hear your stories of how you all have gotten through this transition.
TLDR: ladies, tell me about your LTR and how smooth or bumpy the road was from casual dating to committed partner