u/iggysmom95

Hi everyone! I have a question that I'm wondering if any of the more experience minds here can answer. We have just started TTC - in cycle one right now - so no problems so far; I'm just curious/slightly anxious.

Does anyone know if extremely mild twinges starting 6-7 DPO are cause for concern? Could this be a symptom of something like endometriosis, and would it be a hindrance to implantation?

A little info about me:

31 years old

Regular cycles 28-31 days with periods lasting 5-6 days. The length of my cycle has never been 100% consistent, but it is always within this range. Everything else about my cycle always follows the same pattern.​

Bleeding is light to moderate. On the heaviest day, it would probably take me six hours to soak through a regular pad. From day 3 on, it's extremely light - I could use the same pad all day if not for hygiene/smell.

No spotting before or after.

Recently started using LH tests and temping. Everything looks as it should. LH surge usually lasts for about 36 hours (I think this may be on the long end?), and then my BBT starts to rise two days after my first positive LH test.

All in all, it seems my cycle is perfectly healthy but for two small things.

The first is really bad pain on day 1. Moderate cramping typically starts a day or two before my period - about 4-5/10 on my personal pain scale, able to function normally. Day 1 is bad, although how bad has varied a lot over the years and been better recently. For about the last year, I would describe the pain as about a 7-8 on the pain scale before taking painkillers. 1000 mg acetominophen brings it down to about a 5.

It was worse a couple of years ago - the worst pain I have ever felt, immobilizing, definitely a 9 or 10 for me - but I made a lot of lifestyle changes around sleep, hydration, and exercise and I think that made a difference. The pain has only ever been this bad on day 1.

By mid-way through day 2, it's much better. Pain is back to a 4-5 before painkillers and I can function normally. From day 3 on I have no pain.

My other concern, and the subject of this post, is these twinges that I start to feel around 6-7 DPO.

These cramps/twinges are intermittent, lasting anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes, a couple times a day, and very mild. I wouldn't describe them as pain or even discomfort - more just feeling something in my pelvis, like an awareness of it that isn't there most of the time. I would put them at a 0.5-1 on the pain scale if I had to.

This will continue at more or less the same intensity until my actual period cramps start about two days before my period.

I have addressed both the early "cramping" and the bad pain on day 1 with my doctor, but I was told it was nothing to worry about given that my pain is only very bad for one day, my cycles are regular, and my periods are not heavy.

Mainly I'm worried that (1) this could somehow be a hindrance to implantation, since period cramps are mild uterine contractions, and (2) that it could be a symptom of a deeper problem like endo. I've done as much research as I can but haven't found very many answers.

I saw one post on this sub that suggested that what I'm feeling could be decidualization and that it's nothing to worry about, but I couldn't find much else supporting the idea that decidualization can be felt.

This seems like a sub that would appreciate my husband's absolutely insane and hysterical Downton opinions.

I almost feel the need to make a disclaimer that he is actually a very kind person; he just has strong reactions to people, real or fictional, being dumb or illogical. And at a certain point in our relationship I think he figured out that he can make me laugh by playing up his over the top reactions, so some of this might be only partially genuine.

Without further ado, as much of his commentary as I can remember:

• Cora "looks like she's wearing someone's face"

• About Bates in season one: "Stop being fucking noble! You've got a 10 out of 10 throwing herself at you, nobody cares about your past."

(I asked if he really thinks Anna is a 10 and he said she's "a Downton 10 at least" 😭)

• About Robert: "addicted to taking Ls," "wakes up and decides what he's going to fuck up today"

• "Oh look, Anna's crying in the stairs again! I'm fucking sick of these two."

• Repeatedly commented on Carson "swallowing Robert's boot" and/or "living inside Robert's asshole"

• Every time Matthew was mentioned post-death he said something to the effect of "what a dunbass, who drives like that bro, he died like a bitch and he deserved it because he was acting like a complete moron. Bro why did he even leave the hospital? What an idiot."

• sees people driving badly and says they went to the Matthew Crawley School of Driving

• every time someone was driving down those roads, "look how they're driving safely and not like an idiot!"

• Calls Daisy "Daisy Dipshit" because of her poor decision making skills

• William "looks like a fish"

• Alfred "looks like a foot"

• Edith "seems neurodivergent"

• "Branson turned evil and fat when he became a capitalist, not a coincidence"

• On Evelyn Napier in season six: "dude stop trying this is so embarrassing"

• Re: Robert's ulcer: "What is this guy even stressed about? He does fuck all all day. All he does is walk the dog and spend his wife's money."

• (On a rewatch): "The bike is good for Matthew. He should stick with that. Cars aren't for him."

(I think he may be slightly irritated by me making absolutely no secret of finding Matthew to be a Downton 10 lmfao)

ETA I know it's because she's a woman LOL but I was expecting her to do, I don't know, something that wasn't objectively the right move by any measure. I was expecting the misogynists to have a little more of a leg to stand on. But now, they just don't like seeing a woman being mean to a man. And while I'm at it, Rava was also right about everything she said and did in the last two episodes. And Kendall is the worst.

I mean, disclaimer, obviously we hate everyone, including Shiv. But a couple days ago I saw a post about finishing the show and the first sentence was just "I HATE SHIV!!!!!" which is WILD to me.

Of course all the siblings are acting in self-interest 99% of the time, and of course I think there was a large degree of self-interest in Shiv choosing to vote for the deal. She knew Tom well enough to know that he would be kinder to her than either of them had been to each other up to this point if got the upper hand, so she had no less to gain from him being CEO than Ken being CEO, and Tom would be more competent at it. And, if him offering his hand to her in the car is any indication, she was right.

So yeah, her decision was self-interested. But it was also objectively the right move for the company. Any confidence I had in Kendall was absolutely obliterated by his meltdown in the last twenty minutes. As soon as he faced a little bit of pushback, any argument in his favour that was grounded in logic or reason went out the window and it became about him being daddy's special boy and not knowing what to do with his life otherwise. Although I think he would have been a better CEO than Rome or Shiv (though still not a very good one overall), it was never about that. It was always about his ego and the promise Logan made to him when he was seven. He was like a child crying about not getting what they wanted for Christmas. And if there was any hope in hell of changing Shiv's mind, he blew it. And rightfully so.

Plus, I do think Shiv was genuinely troubled by the decision. She wasn't plotting to sabotage Ken the whole time they were crowning him king; if that were the case she would have delivered her vote swiftly and with Machiavellian coldness. She didn't. I think it actually was hard for her, because she did feel a degree of loyalty to Ken and to the idea of a family business. But in the end she made the decision that was right for both her and the company.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel sympathy for Kendall. I think he's pathetic and I don't relate to him or empathize with him the way some people do, but it sucks to have been promised the world at seven years old and to realize you're never going to have it. It sucks that he was strung along by his dad for decades. Being the oldest child is a lot of pressure in any family, and certainly in this one especially. But none of that changes the fact that he was just not cut out for it. I thought it was really powerful when he said, in his eulogy at Logan's funeral "my God, I hope it's in me." Because it wasn't. It just wasn't in him.

What do you think Edith's true intentions with Matthew were when he first arrived?

I took her words and actions at face value and figured she genuinely liked him. But apparently not everyone agrees. I was discussing this with my friend and she thinks Edith had her sights on swiping not even Matthew the person away from Mary, but - much more importantly - the title and the estate as well. She would go so far as to say it wasn't about Matthew at all.

...I thought I was a huge Edith hater, but compared to some people out there (my friend included) I'm barely even an Edith disliker 😂

So do you think she genuinely liked Matthew?

Or that part Matthew's allure, or perhaps even all of it, was in taking something that was supposed to be Mary's - in this case, Matthew himself?

Or was it even more than that, and Matthew was merely a tool to take the big prize from Mary, the only thing she really cared about at that point: being Countess of Grantham and mistress of Downton?

I am by no means a defender of Edith but I think that's a bit much. I don't think Edith had any particular interest in titles, or in the estate itself. Her jealousy came more from a desire for love and attention than for status.

I would say it was probably some combination of the first two. Edith gave her heart away easily, and if she could fall for Anthony Strallan, she could CERTAINLY fall for Matthew. She fell for anyone who looked her way, and Matthew was handsome and charming on top of being kind to her. It's easy to believe that she genuinely liked him.

But I would bet the fact that he was supposed to be for Mary made him even more desirable​. Her longing for love and attention is not unrelated to her feeling of being second to Mary, so I'm not sure of the extent to which those two things can even be disentangled.

I also wonder if there's something to be said for Patrick in all of this. Edith was so unimpressed by the shallowness of Mary's grief over his death, and probably believed that Mary never deserved him, never saw him as she did. So maybe that shaped her feelings and actions towards Matthew as well; maybe she wanted to get in there before, in her eyes, her cold-hearted sister could stake a claim on another man she wouldn't truly care about.

I got an AI warning that this post may violate Rule 10 but I don't think it does; this is about Edith and the motivation behind her actions. Mary may play a role in that but it's not Mary vs Edith.