My fiancé 28M doesn't find me 33F attractive with new haircut.
My fiancé (28M) said that he sees me (33F) as "really unattractive" because of my new hair cut. How can I go forward? (We have been together for 2 years)
For context: my fiancé identifies as demisexual - he has never experienced physical attraction, until he met me. He's never had a celebrity crush, he never looks at people and finds them attractive. He only feels sexual desire towards someone when he has genuine romantic feelings towards them. He said that I have been the first person in his life that he's actually found immediately physically attractive.
About me: I have been wearing wigs for years, but the last 4 years I've worn wigs when ever I'm out and about. The wig I usually wear is long and has short bangs, it's jet black and has soft waves.
I used to do all sorts of crazy alternative things to my own hair since I was 12, rainbow coloured mohawk, cyber goth dreards, neon green hair with an undercut etc. I have a large stretched septum piercing with a black ring on my nose, my torso, arms and legs are tattooed.
Since I started wearing wigs on regular basis, I have not done anything to my own hair. It's very fluffy, fine and thin, which breaks easily. The colour is odd mosey brown. My hair only grows under my collarbones. I have a high forehead and hairline. My natural hair has pretty much always been my one and only insecurity about my appearance.
The incident: Couple days ago I decided that I'll give myself a haircut. The summer is approaching and wigs get bloody hot in the summer. I cut myself baby bangs, small undercuts on both sides and a mullet. I gently dyed my hair darker, nearly black.
(My friends and family and even strangers on social media commented how amazing, bold, bad ass, sexy, fabulous etc I now look. I myself also feel more like myself with this haircut.)
My fiancé saw me and turned away immediately. He said some things I can't exactly remember but I thought he was just playing with me. Then he said: "how am I supposed have sex with you now?"
I laughed cause I thought he was joking. Then he said: "I find it really unattractive."
That's when I realised he was being serious.
The thing is, just two weeks ago, my fiancé himself shaved off his whole beard and his fancy moustache. Through our whole relationship, he's had a thick long moustache that he styles and twirls. The moustache was one of the first things I noticed about him when we first met. When he shaved everything off, obviously I wasn't delighted, but I thought that I'll get used to it and he's still handsome regardless, just different.
When I challenged him about his comments towards me and my haircut, he said: "am I not allowed to be honest with you?"
I said that yes of course he's allowed and honesty is very much vital and appreciated, however, so is kindness.
He did apologise later on, but still said that he preferred my natural hair.
Anyway. I still feel very hurt and uncomfortable. I don't want him to even look at me. I avoid his touch and there is no way I will approach him with sexual intentions - which is something I usually instigate in our relationship.
How can I go forward with this?