u/iliketurdle3

If you’re considering recovery please continue it does get better it will be scary but it is so so worth it! I literally love my body?! I don’t care how much I gain!! It’s so weird to me because i would have never said that a couple months ago, it’s insane how warped the ed can make your mind. I can now finally concentrate on things, this is so huge for me because when I was deep in my ed I could not focus for the life of me and I stopped having interest in the things I love (reading,video games,going out,journaling) I would forget what I or someone was talking about so much, now it seems like it completely went away and I’m only three months in recovery, I started doing all of them and it doesn’t make me feel wiped out anymore and I’m having so much fun! :)))

Lately I have been dealing with extreme hunger, I can’t go 30 min without eating and I’m basically just eating all day, I can’t think of anything else and I’m not sure what to do, my rhr before was 58 and now it is 75, but after eating a lot it’s been 95, I’m not sure if that’s normal but I seriously can not stop myself from eating, it’s all I can think about even when I’m very full, I thought it would’ve died down by now since I am almost three months into recovery but it hasn’t. I just now started to stop counting everything about two weeks ago (I was eating around >!3,000 cal!<) and since then it has been constantly eating, thinking about food, hoarding food in my room, I feel like a fcking animal and I can’t show myself to my family even though I know they worry about me and how I’m doing and they wouldn’t care about how much I gained since they were the ones concerned about me and got me into recovery in the first place
How can I show myself I’m aloud to eat whenever I want but not to the point where I feel sick?

I used to have an b/p which switched to an/r but recently since I started recovery for the second time
(My relapse only lasted six months but I lost a lot of weight and lost my period super quick ) I’ve had insane mental hunger, I’ve literally had non stop sugar cravings and my mind won’t stop thinking of food constantly.. it’s been months of this and im scared I am going to another extreme I usually am eating every hour at this point and I’m not even sure if it’s actual extreme hunger or just boredom, I had gotten through the phase of being a bottomless pit and I now feel full but I’m still counting and waiting for when I can eat again I literally can’t think of anything else it’s exhausting yet still no signs of my period coming back and it’s making me feel insane and so guilty. Dae have insane mental hunger even months after recovery? I let myself have whatever I want and it seems like it’s not dying down at all/getting more adamant the “binging” episodes don’t feel out of control but kind of? I don’t know how to explain it I’m present but I feel like nothing satisfies my mh >:(

IK this kind of question is stupid on this forum but Dae get gallstones from losing weight too fast and how did you properly go through recovery I feel like I’m going insane