It Just Sucks.
Back in October, our 5 year old cat Cooper passed away suddenly and traumatically. Yesterday, we helped our old lady cat Penne cross the rainbow bridge after a brief struggle with pneumonia on top of other health issues.
The grief I feel for Penne is so different from what I feel for Cooper. At least with Penne, we knew it was coming. At least with Penne, she was old. At least with Penne, I feel the peace that I don't have to worry about her various health issues anymore.
But God, do I miss her so much.
She had so much personality. She ran the house. I knew something was wrong the day she didn't wake me up at 5:50 for breakfast. She was loud, and demanding, and dramatic. And she was such a good girl. When Cooper passed, she didn't leave my side for days. She slept with me and let me hold her whenever I cried. We always said that it was special to get to be loved by Penne, and I truly believe that.
There's this other element to it, too. When we lost Cooper, I thought there was no worse pain than that. He was my heart home, and he was so young, and it was a freak thing that happened.
But to lose another pet so soon hurts worse. I feel grief for Cooper, and I feel grief for Penne, and I feel them compounding together. The pain goes so, so deep. It physically hurts. I know I'll feel better some day, but it's hard to imagine anything beyond feeling this pain.
We've got other pets, and they're taking very good care of us. Their dedication and loyalty and love is really shining through. I'm so grateful for them.
It's just so damn hard.