u/im-a-ransom-note

Specifically looking for lesbian artists, or queer artists in general that like women.

I recently came out as and accepted myself as a lesbian, and I’m looking for songs about loving girls that I can relate to, or just artists that I can relate to in that aspect.

And I’d also love to hear about any other good queer artists.

I’ll listen to basically anything, so don’t worry abt genre.

Throw ’em at me :D

I’ll start by saying I’m a teenager.

So, I’ll start from the beginning.

Back in June, my 6th ever boyfriend, and 7th ever partner, broke up with me.

He asked me to wait a month so he could see how he felt about me, and if he wanted to get back together, and I agreed to, and I did.

it has been two months, now.

A couple nights ago, after two weeks of being fed up with waiting, because he would randomly message me just to be like “I still like you, but I cant decide”, I messaged him.

Long story short, I was like “I can’t do this anymore. I’m done waiting for you. It’s been a month longer than you asked for, and it’s affecting my mental health at this point, because I’m single, but I’m still tied to you, because you keep saying you love me but can’t decide if you wanna date or not. I am done waiting for you. I need an answer, or I’m just moving on.”

Which, honestly, was really big for me. Im really bad at standing up for myself.

When he finally messaged back, it was basically just “i don’t want you, blah blah, let’s stay friends“

And I was free.

For the first time in about 10 months, I had freedom over who I wanted to date. I wasn’t tied to anyone, wasn’t locked down, wasn’t dating anyone, wasn’t even crushing on anyone.

I was just free.

And that made me start thinking.

But my immediate reaction to being free was “I don’t want to date men.”

And that was

actually jarring.

I’ve known I liked women since I was 7. Came out as bi to everyone, including my parents, irl at 12, and online at 10.

Liking girls isn’t new.

But I never actually thought about it.

men was always my go to, it’s “normal”, and I always knew it’d be more socially acceptable and easier to date men, anyways.

But I have tried that, now. Six times. It has gone horrible every time.

And the conclusion I have come to is that I wanna date girls.

I wanna be with girls.

and I’m actually starting to realize what that means.

There’s so much to actually think about.

Like, I’ve accepted my self as bi. I’ve known I liked women. But have I really…accepted that I’m allowed to date women? Accepted that it’s a genuine part of my life that I’m allowed to explore?

And…what does that mean in the long run?

Like, even outside of just me,

Most of my family is homophobic,

My rights to marriage are on the line,

I’ve only ever had crushes on straight girls,

and what if Im just…a liar?

What if I don’t even like women, and I’ve just convinced myself I do, because I haven’t found ”the one“ in men yet? And now I’m mad at them over it?

But…then, also,

The more I think about it, maybe I’m not bi.

I don’t find men attractive. Not really. I don’t like looking at men.

Men I have liked are always the more “feminine” men, who end up coming out as gay later after we break up (Not kidding, 4/6 of my exes came out as gay, and one of the other two was already out as bi.)

Ive had to, in my own words, “convince myself“ to love my exes.

But ladies?

Oh my gosh, dude, women are so pretty.

Ive always jokingly called myself gay. I “look” queer, most would say.

But, then rises more questions.

How does one even meet girls, like that?

And, I’m demiromantic, too.

I feel like I’m shutting down my love life, like—

Being bi, you have so many options.

If I only really like girls, I’m losing half my options.

And for me to form a crush, I’m gonna have to get to know them, and like—

Im scared, dude.

This is so fucking scary.

Im confused, and I don’t know what to do, or where to go.

I’m also christian, but not a traditional christian.

I’m genderfluid, bisexual. I’m a therian, fictionkin, conceptkin, and objectkin.

If you don’t know what that means,

Therian means having a spiritual or mental connection to animals. Fictionkin is the same but for fictional characters. Conceptkin is the same but for concepts. And Objectkin is the same but for objects. Generally seen as mentally ill, but I see those connections and spiritual and religious.

Genderfluid means my gender changes. And bisexual…you probably know.

Im also decently conservative, center-right, and get called transphobic and homophobic in almost any queer space I enter.

Ask me anything. And I mean anything.