u/imissmylady

Hi everyone,

I’m writing this because I’m really struggling to cope right now. I never in a million years imagined I’d be a divorcee, let alone less than six months after saying "I do." I have a lot of dark thoughts about how things turned out, but I’m praying to God daily to heal me and grant me strength. I just need to vent and hopefully get some perspective from people who have been through similar situations.

To give some context: My ex-wife and I dated for two years before getting married in 2025. We come from different cultures/ethnicities and lived on opposite sides of the world, so I jumped through every possible hurdle to make it work. I traveled back and forth constantly to see her and her family. When we finally got married, I was the happiest man alive, and my family was genuinely thrilled for us.
I brought her to the US right after the wedding, but things went downhill fast.

Out of every week, 5 to 6 days were filled with non-stop chaos and conflict, with maybe 1 or 2 days of peace. We both suffered, but the complete lack of effort and constant hostility broke me down:

Zero effort at home: For the first three months, she did virtually nothing. I’d come home after working 50+ hours a week, and she’d still be in bed. She didn't pray, didn't offer Salam to anyone (when we lived with my family initially), and didn't cook at all until Ramadan. I had to take us out to eat every single day just so we could eat.
(in the almost 6 months we were married. I spent about $9,000 on food, including delivery food and going to the restaurant and buying food from the grocery.)

Red flags & property questions: She refused to do a Walima (wedding ceremony) in my home city for my community, which always felt strange to me. She also constantly probed about what assets I owned and whose name was on the deeds. Whenever I called out how uncomfortable those questions made me, she always had an excuse ready.

Disrespecting my family: I take care of my elderly parents, and she resented it deeply. She mocked them and insulted almost every member of my family over extremely trivial things.

Attempts to fix things failed: I brought in an Imam to mediate, but it made no positive difference. Thinking a fresh start in our own space would help, I worked my tail off—making over $10k in a single month—to buy and renovate a house for us to start 2026 together. It changed nothing.
Things temporarily improved during Ramadan—she cooked great meals and showed some progress—but the emotional damage she inflicted on me and my family had already built up.

After Ramadan, she expected me to move forward with her green card/immigration paperwork. I couldn't in good conscience file those papers given the state of our marriage and the way she treated me & my family. I proposed taking a break from work, traveling back to her home country together, and working through our issues with a professional or her family before completing the immigration process.

She outright rejected it and demanded a divorce. Later on i found out her mom encouraged her to divorce me.

She claims I changed after marriage, but I disagree completely. I worked myself to exhaustion trying to build a stable life, a comfortable home, and a future for us, but she brought nothing positive into the relationship and destroyed the peace in my home.

I’m sitting here now feeling completely drained, wondering why I put myself through all of this. Sometimes I naively catch myself wishing we had just stayed dating and never gotten married. Going from the happiest moment of my life to a messy divorce in under six months has shattered me.

How do you pick yourself up after something like this? How do you move past the resentment of giving 100% to someone who gave nothing back and disrespecting you and your family?

It’s crazy because i still love her and i know we can’t go back together after all she said and did. But i still want her and her only. I don’t see myself with anyone but her. Maybe i should stop reliving our relationship pre-marriage?

Like genuinely, what did i do to deserve this?

I have 0 motivation in life rn and im not mentally well. I need help.

Salam everyone,

I’m writing this because I’m really struggling to cope right now. I never in a million years imagined I’d be a divorcee, let alone less than six months after saying "I do." I have a lot of dark thoughts about how things turned out, but I’m praying to Allah daily to heal me and grant me strength. I just need to vent and hopefully get some perspective from people who have been through similar situations.

To give some context: My ex-wife and I dated for two years before getting married in 2025. We come from different cultures/ethnicities and lived on opposite sides of the world, so I jumped through every possible hurdle to make it work. I traveled back and forth constantly to see her and her family. When we finally got married, I was the happiest man alive, and my family was genuinely thrilled for us.
I brought her to the US right after the wedding, but things went downhill fast.

Out of every week, 5 to 6 days were filled with non-stop chaos and conflict, with maybe 1 or 2 days of peace. We both suffered, but the complete lack of effort and constant hostility broke me down:

Zero effort at home: For the first three months, she did virtually nothing. I’d come home after working 50+ hours a week, and she’d still be in bed. She didn't pray, didn't offer Salam to anyone (when we lived with my family initially), and didn't cook at all until Ramadan. I had to take us out to eat every single day just so we could eat.
(in the almost 6 months we were married. I spent about $9,000 on food, including delivery food and going to the restaurant and buying food from the grocery.)

Red flags & property questions: She refused to do a Walima in my home city for my community, which always felt strange to me. She also constantly probed about what assets I owned and whose name was on the deeds. Whenever I called out how uncomfortable those questions made me, she always had an excuse ready.

Disrespecting my family: I take care of my elderly parents, and she resented it deeply. She mocked them and insulted almost every member of my family over extremely trivial things.

Attempts to fix things failed: I brought in an Imam to mediate, but it made no positive difference. Thinking a fresh start in our own space would help, I worked my tail off—making over $10k in a single month—to buy and renovate a house for us to start 2026 together. It changed nothing.
Things temporarily improved during Ramadan—she cooked great meals and showed some progress—but the emotional damage she inflicted on me and my family had already built up.

After Ramadan, she expected me to move forward with her green card/immigration paperwork. I couldn't in good conscience file those papers given the state of our marriage and the way she treated me & my family. I proposed taking a break from work, traveling back to her home country together, and working through our issues with a professional or her family before completing the immigration process.

She outright rejected it and demanded a divorce. Later on i found out her mom encouraged her to divorce me.

She claims I changed after marriage, but I disagree completely. I worked myself to exhaustion trying to build a stable life, a comfortable home, and a future for us, but she brought nothing positive into the relationship and destroyed the peace in my home.

I’m sitting here now feeling completely drained, wondering why I put myself through all of this. Sometimes I naively catch myself wishing we had just stayed dating and never gotten married. Going from the happiest moment of my life to a messy divorce in under six months has shattered me.

How do you pick yourself up after something like this? How do you move past the resentment of giving 100% to someone who gave nothing back and disrespecting you and your family?

It’s crazy because i still love her and i know we can’t go back together after all she said and did. But i still want her and her only. I don’t see myself with anyone but her. Maybe i should stop reliving our relationship pre-marriage?

Like genuinely, what did i do to deserve this?

I have 0 motivation in life rn and im not mentally well. I need help.