Hi everyone!
I want a customised fancy cake for a special celebration i have no idea about any bakery or place that makes aesthetically pretty cakes
Any recommendations for a good place that can make pretty cakes??
I dont even know what im feeling. i have had a disfunctional family and extreme financial problems my whole life.
My family is very religious and since childhood to every problem i have always been told to just pray
I have grown out of religion , spiritually i am at a phase where i hate god
I wish could just stop believing there is someone or something out there all together but i just cant help but still believe in god but i hate god i cant put into words how much i hate god more than my father i would say
My father has had so many relationships outside the marrige and entire family knows even my extended family but mother for certain reasons cant leave my father. He even had a relationship with our maid and told her she is as pretty as my sister. My life is so fucked up and on top of everything we r poor as fuck.
Financially we r at a phase where i have no idea if there would be food on my table tomorrow
I have been raised to be gratefull and to always look at people that have it worse than me
And that is sooo annoying i feel sooo bad about my own life but i hate myslef for complaining because the funny thing about life is that no matter how bad ur kife gets there will always be someone who has it worse than u but this doesn't help.
Knowing that people are suffering more than me makes me hate god even more. I wish for something to comfort myslef but everything seems to annoy me even more
Growing up with all thses problems has made me quite numb i to alot of things i see my mother crying and my siblings in distress but i dont feel bad for them i dont feel anything
I thought being numb is good given my conditions but i have been passive sucidal for the past decade now
I recently found out about what sucide ideation was and realised i haven't been numb it was all storing up i really really really wish to just stop existing
I told myself it would go away its just the environment of my house getting to me but i really just wish to stop existing
I dont want to wake up tomorrow