Journaled cooperatively and I feel more centered than I have in almost a decade.
At work today, two new/ancient alters showed themselves (albeit vaguely) and in the background of my head we were trying to encourage them to communicate (I was still working).
By the end of the day, on the drive home, I was concurrently flashbacking to things I’d not thought about since childhood (who remembers their childhood anyway?) and trying to drive home safely. They had the face - wide eyes and confused - and we had the body on our routine home.
When we got there, we grabbed any empty book and just started sharing everything we knew about ourselves since we became sentient. Treating them as brand new consciousnesses and explaining all that we have learned about DID since the diagnosis.
It took hours but they eventually shared in concepts their ages and their lodging (not in the usual place our alters live).
Broke my heart. Instead of the tree house, they were in a damp cave. they belonged in the branches.
But the fact they’re here now and the fact I’m so supported by therapy and family and friends means I can finally give them the attention they’ve missed for so long.
That’s all.
It feels like we’re writing a memoir but it’s just all we know about ourselves and each other and how we function. I’m so glad to be able to bury myself in my own words again. I’m so glad to have my dormant alters stretch themselves and let their voices and faces be recognized. I thought I lost them forever after a move back to my home country. They were just suppressed by the biggest mask I had.
I’m so glad to be alive.