u/innersoul_143

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 1.5 years now. He is your typical “nice guy.” When I first met him, he was a completely different person; I thought I would never meet such a nice person in my entire life. He had good manners, was a little nerdy, funny, innocent-looking, and overall very understanding with great communication skills. I thought he would stay like this for the rest of our lives. He treated me like I was the most special person in the world. He used to compliment me often, encourage me, and adore me.

But as soon as we started dating, he began manipulating and gaslighting me very smoothly. It was so subtle that I couldn’t even recognize his tactics at first. Whenever we have some form of disagreement, he first gets angry at me, gives me the silent treatment, and then somehow tries to make everything my fault.

For example, once I uploaded a picture on Instagram and a lot of my male and female friends commented on it complimenting me (mind you, my account is private with only around 200 followers). My boyfriend saw those comments, called me, and started acting like I had cheated on him or something. He asked me why my male friends were “flirting” with me. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. When I told him they were my friends, that I knew them personally, and that they didn’t think about me that way, he started a smooth argument with me, saying he knows how “boys” think and that they were definitely trying to flirt with me.

When I got angry and told him there was nothing I could do about the situation and that he was behaving weirdly, he then told me it was only because he loved me so much and was serious about me. He said he was just afraid of losing me and that I should understand him.

This is just one example. Another time, he got angry because he wanted me to wear a specific color dress to a party. Even though I told him I couldn’t promise that and that I had a different dress I wanted to wear, when I arrived at the party wearing a different color, he gave me the silent treatment and later told me that I had betrayed him, even though I never promised him anything.

I am genuinely done with him and want to break up. But he is the typical “nice guy” in front of all our mutual friends (mostly his friends, but of course they know me too), and I desperately want some solid reason to break up with him. Otherwise, I know for sure his friends will harass me if I break up with him “without a reason,” because in general he is not a bad person. He is smart and kind.

So, WIBTA if I break up with him?

TL;DR : i want to breakup with my "nice guy" boyfriend as he is not what I thought he was in the beginning.

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 1.5 years now. He is your typical “nice guy.” When I first met him, he was a completely different person; I thought I would never meet such a nice person in my entire life. He had good manners, was a little nerdy, funny, innocent-looking, and overall very understanding with great communication skills. I thought he would stay like this for the rest of our lives. He treated me like I was the most special person in the world. He used to compliment me often, encourage me, and adore me.

But as soon as we started dating, he began manipulating and gaslighting me very smoothly. It was so subtle that I couldn’t even recognize his tactics at first. Whenever we have some form of disagreement, he first gets angry at me, gives me the silent treatment, and then somehow tries to make everything my fault.

For example, once I uploaded a picture on Instagram and a lot of my male and female friends commented on it complimenting me (mind you, my account is private with only around 200 followers). My bitcha$$ boyfriend saw those comments, called me, and started acting like I had cheated on him or something. He asked me why my male friends were “flirting” with me. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. When I told him they were my friends, that I knew them personally, and that they didn’t think about me that way, he started a smooth argument with me, saying he knows how “boys” think and that they were definitely trying to flirt with me.

When I got angry and told him there was nothing I could do about the situation and that he was behaving weirdly, he then told me it was only because he loved me so much and was serious about me. He said he was just afraid of losing me and that I should understand him.

This is just one example. Another time, he got angry because he wanted me to wear a specific color dress to a party. Even though I told him I couldn’t promise that and that I had a different dress I wanted to wear, when I arrived at the party wearing a different color, he gave me the silent treatment and later told me that I had betrayed him, even though I never promised him anything.

I am genuinely done with him and want to break up. But he is the typical “nice guy” in front of all our mutual friends (mostly his friends, but of course they know me too), and I desperately want some solid reason to break up with him. Otherwise, I know for sure his friends will harass me if I break up with him “without a reason,” because in general he is not a bad person. He is smart and kind.

So, WIBTA if I broke up with him?

TL;DR : i want to breakup with my "nice guy" boyfriend as he is not what I thought he was in the beginning.