u/insomniabro

Today I was at the barbershop and I was just so relaxed. No swallowing constantly, tight chest, nervousness, red face. In fact I was just sitting relaxed as can be. Found myself even smiling more and when I went to give the barber a handshake after my haircut it just felt so natural and genuine. I was never this way. I used to be a nervous shaky mess. Id overthink everything, I had all the symptoms of bad social anxiety. Now, wether im at the barbershop, grocery store, gym.. I just feel relaxed. I like this version of myself without caffeine, over 4 months and counting.

Today I was at the barbershop and I was just so relaxed. No swallowing constantly, tight chest, nervousness, red face. In fact I was just sitting relaxed as can be. Found myself even smiling more and when I went to give the barber a handshake after my haircut it just felt so natural and genuine. I was never this way. I used to be a nervous shaky mess. Id overthink everything, I had all the symptoms of bad social anxiety. Now, wether im at the barbershop, grocery store, gym.. I just feel relaxed. I like this version of myself without caffeine, over 4 months and counting.

As the title states, im a truck driver and ive noticed many videos circulating online of people losing their jobs and especially those with 4+ year college degrees. It made me recognize that im very grateful I chose the blue collar line of work that I got into when I was younger. Anyway AMA

I was about 185 lean now I am 230 with a big ass belly and all my clothes have increased in size. I need 200 characters so here is my 200 characters ladies and gentlemen. It's not exactly easy to get 200.

To make me feel how I've been feeling lately. Energy has exponentially increased. Im getting through my whole day and not feeling exhausted at the end of it. I feel balanced. Energy is stable. I feel calm all day. Engaging in conversation, laughing more. Accomplishing many tasks at work without feeling stressed. Is it worth quitting caffeine? Absolutely!

One thing ive struggled with all my life is anxiety. Not just the ruminating anxiety one faces on their own in their head while at home or whatever. But the kind of anxiety that's full on display for the world to see. Id have these terrible episodes where I felt like I couldn't breathe. Id be panicking for no reason. Chest felt tight, throat closed. Face turned red, felt like I wanted to escape. And yes this would happen in the worst times. In the middle of conversation with my coworkers or manager. I dreaded going to work often because of the anxiety. Social anxiety was at its peak 3 months ago. So how about now? Well as far as general anxiety.. it doesn't exist. I could have so many tasks on my plate and I just dont care that much. I don't get overwhelmed, I dont worry. And the one that really mattered to me.. the social anxiety. Panic attacks fully gone. Yes the voice is in my head as it always was telling me people are judging me. But here's the thing, its way more quiet than its ever been. The physical manifestation of social anxiety though is fully gone. So if you deal with bad social anxiety especially on the physical side and or if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and extremely stressed with daily tasks, maybe consider that its not just you.. its a chemical that's causing that!

Please scroll to the bottom for the main update if you dont want to read the long backstory.

I've been drinking caffeine since I can remember. As a kid my parents always bought soda and tea and I'd guzzle it like water. In fact my favorite was mountain dew (which is one of the highest caffeine content sodas). But here's the thing, it didnt affect me much back then or perhaps I never realized. Fast forward and im in high-school, introduced to energy drinks. Id go to the gas station a few times a week across the street from the school and grab me a monster, eventually a nos, and sometimes an amp. I loved them alot, loved the taste, loved the boost of energy. But I was only having like 1 a week because I couldn't afford more as I had no job and I was essentially using the lunch money parents gave for lunch (rather than eating). Moving on to my time after high school and thats where I begin to use energy drinks more as a tool. Just like alot of others, I begin going to the gym at 18 and I learn that everybody is taking preworkout. At this point I have a minimum wage job so I can at least afford the powder. I didnt really like it much and then one day after drinking a zero monster I developed a habit of drinking a monster but only before gym usually.

Now let's fast forward to where it really went downhill for me. At 22 years old I get my Class-A CDL and I begin driving trucks long-haul. This is where the crazy schedule driving late into the nights waking up early mornings just became too demanding and eventually I began drinking coffee daily and energy drinks. It became a habit to drink a large Colombian or house coffee from pilot or loves truck stop in the morning upon waking. After a few hours itd be a diet mountain dew with lunch, then a few hours later maybe id go to the gym and have an energy drink (at this point the 300mg ones like bang came out) and the remainder of the day id have either another coffee or another Mountain dew if I was working late. Initially, I didnt have too many problems because I got used to this routine and didn't think much of it. The main issue I had (which i always had prior) was anxiety. But I guess I never saw it as a big enough problem.

Now here's where things begin to go downhill fast:

After 6 years of this routine, I begin to notice that im always feeling tired. No matter when I get to sleep, well no problem right, just reach for another energy drink. That worked until insomnia hit. I developed terrible insomnia to the point that no matter what id do I couldn't fall asleep well and then id wake up multiple times at night and end up waking up too early. It was beginning to affect my sleep. Eventually I switch from long haul trucking to local. (More of a normal 9-5 hours job). But here i am with severe insomnia and I also had terrible social anxiety. I limited myself to 1 cup of coffee a day in the mornings and although id fall asleep a bit better id still wake up tired every morning. I did 1 cup of coffee for a good 3 years.. but here's the thing. My sleep never really returned. I began to just feel exhausted. Id drink coffee but Id just feel sleepy, it no longer worked like before. I knew I couldn't grab for another one because then the insomnia would get worse. And so I finally made the decision to try to quit after reading everyone's positive experiences.

Quitting: ill keep it short, month 1 was hell. I woke up every night in the middle of the night (2-3) and couldn't fall asleep. Terrible anxiety. Felt even more exhausted than I did before when I was drinking coffee. Ended up in the ER due to a severe panic attack thinking im having a heart attack. Mood low all the time, feeling unmotivated, ready to give up daily. At times even questioning life.

Month 2: anxiety got better, but still waking every night middle of night and having a hard time falling back asleep. Always exhausted just pushing through the day. Feeling like it'll never end and really being tempted to return to coffee. Missing workouts daily due to complete exhaustion. Eating more sugar to give myself boosts of energy. Gaining fat and not happy at all.

Month 3: towards the end of month 3 I began to notice something, im not feeling exhausted daily anymore. I still don't sleep a consistent 8 hours. Still wake up a few times late at night. But now wh22en that happens I'll sit up for a an hour or 2 and then eventually go back and fall asleep. Even if I do sleep in intervals I feel more awake. Ive returned to working out daily. My motivation has returned. I just generally feel more optimistic. My sleep isn't perfect, but it is much better. I still do have some bad days but theyre nowhere near how it was before.

Conclusion: month 1 and 2 i was barely surviving. Beyond exhausted, beyond down and out, no hope no end in sight. But I pushed through and im beginning to see light after 3 months. Im not fully out of the dark tunnel but im seeing light and thats huge. It's reason enough to keep pushing and see what life can be on the other side. I will never return to that demon of a thing known as caffeine. The last several years I was just living on auto-pilot. I really want to see how life can be when im fully refreshed and full of energy.