u/insomniac_1217

(I tried posting this on r/schoolpsychology but they wouldn’t let me. Hopefully it’ll be ok asking on here)

28F wanting to go back to school and become a school Psychologist. I will likely need to redo my bachelor’s since I only finished 2 years of my BA almost 10 years ago, and it’s in an unrelated major.

I understand that in order to become a school psychologist, I’ll need 4 years bachelors, then 2 years graduate school, then 1 year internship. There’s also PhD for school psychology.

I’ll be around 35 when I graduate. Older if I pursue a doctorate.

I live in the Bay Area, and my husband doesn’t want to move since his business is here. He’s also not open to long distance, so I’ll need to get into a graduate program here. Is that too big of a risk? I know school psychologist graduate programs are less competitive than PhD or PsyD ones, but it’s still difficult to get in. The East Bay one seems the most aligned with what I’m looking for.

The reason why I chose school psychologist is because I am interested in helping children get the proper assessment and support they need to succeed in school that wish I had when I was younger. I also enjoy psychology, but don’t necessarily want to do therapy as my full-time job. Which, to my understanding, school psychologists don’t primarily do therapy. They do quite a variety of duties such as assessments, writing reports, attending meetings and sometimes counseling.

My concerns are related to the work culture/ environment itself. I heard that the northern California/Bay Area school districts are understaffed, which is a good thing because I can likely find a job, but it’s a bad thing because there’s a chance I’ll be overworked because there’s not enough school psychologists. I also heard a lot of school psychologists leave the field because of school politics, red tape and other factors outside of their control that prevent them from fully helping the students. Also, burn out- Which might contribute to the shortage of school psychologists.

I just want to hear your own experience as a school psychologist, especially if you’re from Northern California/the Bay Area, and if the career is something you personally think is worth me pursuing.

How was grad school like?

Is the job stressful and overwhelming?

How emotionally taxing can it be?

Also, how is the pay realistically like in the Bay Area/northern California? I know the pay varies quite drastically.

Thank you!

I was an engene and huge fan of Heeseung when he was still in the group. He was captivating on stage, and it was obvious why he was given the most lines, always singing chorus and placed in the front or center. His dancing and vocals were all exceptional. He went viral during Coachella, and he was the most popular member.

But even though I genuinely enjoy his new album, and I still find his performances really good, he honestly did regress a little.

I watched his dance practice videos from back then compared to his most recent DoM one, and it was honestly kind of sad. Not in a “he looks pathetic” kind of way, more in a “he used to be so amazing, what happened?” kind of way.

Same with his recent solo encore performance. I’ve heard him singing live before hitting much higher notes no problem, so I was surprised when he struggled this time.

My speculation is that performing solo vs in a group really does make a difference. Imagine, when you sing in a choir on stage, you’re not nearly as nervous. But if you have to do the same song solo, you’ll be shitting your pants (at least I would 😂).

I also think all the hate definitely affected his confidence a little.

And part of it was his concept and styling changed. Even though I’m happy that he’s able to have creative freedom now, I think Enhypen’s concept and styling flattered him better. That goes beyond visuals, the music might have suited his vocals better too.

I’m not one of the delusional fans still wanting him to return, but I genuinely grieve Enhypen’s Heeseung, because he’s gone now.

Still love Evan though, seriously, but I just prefer his styling, singing and dancing from back then more. Hopefully as he gets used to being solo, he’ll recover his vocal and dancing skills. Because he definitely has it in him, he’s proved it before.

Now that it’s been 6 months and the dust has more or less settled, I think despite still missing the old times with all 7 members, I do think Evan leaving was for the best.

He genuinely looks a lot happier now. The spark he lost years ago came back. I almost forgot how goofy and funny he was; When Enha members used to say he was the most funny member, I couldn’t see it. But watching his iland and early debut stuff, and now his solo era content, I 100% get why 😅

I’m just happy to see him happy. To see him do the thing he loves most and share music with his fans.

Enhypen are also reaching new heights and gained a lot of fans. Their Weverse gained almost 2 million members in less than 6 months. They also seem to have grown even closer as a result of trauma bonding 😅

Grand slam + 1 win (and counting) is insane. I’m kinda annoyed it took a member leaving for engenes to finally gaf to vote for our boys though. Where were they back in January 💀 and don’t get me started on how No Doubt literally got zero wins. I’m still mad about that 😩

Also, I just realized I get DOUBLE the amount of good music to enjoy now 😅 TS:B and now DoM back to back?? My Spotify playlist is so lit right now 😆

Don’t get me wrong, I still get sad sometimes whenever I see their old content and wish we can go back. But truth be told, maybe things really weren’t what they seemed, and Heeseung was struggling.

Him sharing his childhood cancer diagnosis kind of puts somethings into perspective. When you almost died once, you might be more willing to take risks and do what you want with your life. Even if others might not get it. Because you don’t know what will happen in the future and don’t want to live with regret. You realize how short and fragile life truly is.

It’s just sad how the fandom reacted so poorly to his departure. I wish it wasn’t blown up so out of proportion. I honestly think no one expected the fandom to react the way it did. Not Belift, not Enhypen, not Evan and not even Engenes themselves.

Anyway, I just wish all the boys the best. I wish them all happiness in their new paths and will continue to support them through their new journeys 🫶 praying for a successful album for Evan with his first comeback!

When he debuted back in June the general consensus was it wasn’t as exceptional as many had expected. Ride or Die also apparently sounded too Enhypen coded to justify his departure. Of course he is entitled to release whatever he wants, regardless of how much toxic fans think it’s not “different enough”.

But truth be told, I feel like if Belift listened to Evan and made Immature the title track, it would have made more sense. Since it really does sound very different from Enhypen. And it’s a really good song too.

Death of Me is also a banger. I think it might have been a better debut track. The MV was really good too, better than Ride or Die imo.

Idk why Belift couldn’t wait literally 3 months to debut Evan with this entire album, rather than obviously rushing his debut? Maybe they did it to keep the hype and momentum from his departure? I personally think it caused way more hate than necessary towards Evan.

Not to mention, this entire album sounds so much more cohesive with the new songs released. Ride or Die and Overflow some how sound even better when you listen through the whole album in order.

I personally think this album is really good. Not Enough might be my personal fav. I’m hoping he can win on a music show this time!

From surviving cancer, surviving the grueling trainee system, surviving another cancer (i-land), surviving debut, surviving idol life while being insanely overworked as someone with weaker health, to now surviving one of the worst cyberbullying events of recent K-pop history- he is such a strong fighter.

As someone who struggles with my own health issues, there have been many times I wanted to give up. I really didn't want to keep fighting anymore. It honestly felt easier to just leave this world. But I always held on because of my loved ones, and also Enhypen giving me strength through those times. However, after hearing that Heeseung went through a much more serious illness at age 10, and how strong he was through it all, I can't help but feel encouraged to keep fighting myself.

Imagine having to face the grief of multiple friends dying at age 10. Imagine having to be strong for your own mom, despite being a terrified child. And through all that, he beat the insane odds and debuted in Enhypen, achieving the dream he always wanted.

His mental resilience is what I admire most and wish to learn. Even though he is younger than me, he has taught me so many things. Like how secure he is in himself- that despite the whole world bullying him, calling him horrible names and saying disgusting things about him, he didn't let that dim his light. He just put his head down and kept working hard at the music he’s so passionate about. He never let the haters get to him, clapping back by calling them out and even thanking them for being so obsessed with him 😆

He's not afraid to admit his own shortcomings, like his immaturity. But he's only 24. It's ok to be immature when you are literally still super young. Even though I do not think he is immature at all, in fact I think he is incredibly mature and brave.

Making the incredibly difficult decision to leave Enhypen must have been terrifying. He left the comfort of a successful group to challenge himself and follow his dreams. He accepted that he might be standing alone, but that didn't phase him.

Oh Evan the amazing human you are. God really took his time making such a beautiful, strong, talented and freakishly good at everything Bambi. I’m so glad he’s alive today, and able to touch the hearts of so many. Praying for massive success this next comeback to prove all the haters wrong 💪

Today I just realized how much En-O’clock was something that I looked forward to every single week, especially during comeback season. Now it seems like it’s essentially over? Last episode was 5 months ago but they said it was supposed to resume back in April.

My optimistic guess is that they’re refilming all the content and it’s taking a long time due to their world tour + comeback? Either way I really hope it comes back again 😭❤️

Ever since Mar 10, Enhypen has never been the same. They changed so much, and they're no longer the group I once fell in love with. Honestly, even their last album wasn't my favorite, I was already disappointed then. The rebrand is ugly af too and gives me trypophobia. After Heeseung left, and the shit show that ensued, I really can't keep stanning the group anymore... not to mention I fking hate engenes. I refuse to be called an engene anymore. That fandom is toxic af 

The illusion of them being a happy group of guys who love each other and their job shattered for me. They were once the reason why I smiled. Now they're a source of pain and sadness for me. They were once my escape from my mental woes, now they're partly the cause of my mental health struggles.

Members leaving, fans dying, and the way everything being handled really left a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention, I just really don't respect Hybe (and its sub labels) as a company. I admit they produce talented artists and decent music, but the way they manage everything is embarassing.

For a while I thought the members themselves were enough to keep me, but even the members have changed. They became so unc. Sunghoon used to have the flower boy vibe, now he's like a gym bro who dances to phonk. Ni-ki was so handsome during No Doubt era idk what happened. I hate Jake's new hair. Jungwon is my bias and he stills handsome, but his constant ED talk triggers me. Heeseung ruined his face with all the ps he got lately. Sunoo has too much filler and Jay's jawline is starting to go. They look exhausted and tired af too, which I understand considering how overworked they are, but it is distracting when you're trying to enjoy the performance. It makes me pity them, instead of focusing on the music.

They all laugh and act like an ahjussi. I like it when idols are a little cute, but now they're too "cool" to ever act cute for fans anymore. Maybe except Sunoo, but even he said he doesn't want to act cute anymore. 

They barely smile for photos either, except for candid fan taken ones. And I honestly hate their newest concept photos for the Sin : Bliss. That weird 80s inspired look is not doing it for me. Honestly, I don't like the freaking Sin series, period. 

They never perform my favorite songs anymore. Always the same 15 songs. No Fatal Trouble, Still Monster, Sacrifice, hell, they don't even perform Sweet Venom or Bad Desire anymore. 

And yes, Heeseung leaving will and has affected the quality of their sound, no matter how hard their fans try to deny it. He was their strongest vocalist and most talented member, it was a massive loss. And I'm not looking forward to this next album tbh

Honestly, I cried a lot over this. I know this sounds dramatic but I genuinely loved them so much. I was such a huge fan, and it feels like my comfort place has been taken away from me. The group I once fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. I had a high of 2 weeks after seeing them live (I booked VIP2 tickets months in advance so I went), but just when I thought the Heeseung thing was finally blowing over, the Mina situation, which I argue is even worse, happened. 

I thought I could get over it, but honestly, I can't. It's all becoming too much and I think I've finally had enough. I've stopped listening to their music for now to give myself a break. But maybe once I move on, I can listen to them casually again. 

I don't hate the group, I just fell out of love with them. I hate their company and fans though. It's so sad because they were the reason why I took up singing lessons and Korean lessons. Seeing them in person at their concert was the highlight of my entire year. They were the first group I ever cared enough to buy a lot of albums for and vote on music shows or award shows... I genuinely loved every single member. Loved their music. Loved their performances. Loved everything about them. 

But I guess all good things come to an en(d). 

I know the movie/book is meant to be satire, but I mean, the elite are honestly pretty evil, the epstein files are just the tip of the iceberg. So is this movie a satire or simply a documentary? I believe he did kill everyone. It's just that everyone was covering up for him. I think the lawyer either confused him and Paul Allen for other people (because he really doesn't gaf), or him being the corrupt lawyer he is, acted as his phony alibi. The real estate lady obviously knew something. Perhaps his dad paid her off. Or maybe she didn't want to ask any questions and just cleaned up the place so she could sell it for profit.

He probably did end up losing his mind near the end. After all the killings he did, it messed him up and got him "high" off the bloodbath. The people not opening their doors to the prostitute banging is because those rich people living in the same expensive apartment can't care less about others. It's "none of their business", even if a girl is screaming down the hallway. I literally screamed once at a hotel hallway in a blood-curdling way, and literally nobody even peeked out the door to see what happened. In reality, my husband just scared the shit out of me, but what if I was actually in danger? Maybe some part of the killings, like the chainsaw scene, was sensationalized in his mind, but I'm pretty sure he did actually kill her. So yeah, this movie is probably much more realistic than most people would like to admit.

I don't know if any other fans can relate, but what do you do when you absolutely LOVE a group but hate the company that manages them and the fandom associated with them? I realize I do not agree with or get along with the majority of engenes in the fandom. It's so sad because they are supposed to be the people who I can share my love for Enhypen the most. I tried leaving the fandom, but it's hard when you actively attend their concerts (because you want to see your favorite group live) and watch their content online.

Like why do I feel like I have to give up my favorite group just because of other crappy people? And why am I now lumped in with a bunch of toxic cyberbullies just because I happen to enjoy the same music as they do?

I preface this by saying, I do NOT blame Ni-ki or Enhypen at all for the whole situation. However, since the situation has blown up so much, and whether we like it or not, Ni-ki and Enhypen are now heavily tied to the tragedy, I think it's only basic human decency to at least write a post expressing their condolences to Mina and her family.

I also think Enhypen should honestly go on a hiatus. With Heeseung leaving and now Mina dying, I think the boys and the fandom need a break. It will honestly help everyone heal and move on. It doesn't even have to be a long hiatus, even a month will be enough. I know their comeback is coming up, but everything that has happened is very serious. I think it's worth pushing back a comeback by a few weeks. I think this situation will negatively impact their comeback anyway, honestly.

Anyway, just my opinion. I know there's almost zero chance any of this will happen, and they will likely move forward like nothing happened, just like how they dealt with the Heeseung situation.

I love the boys, but it's seriously getting hard being a part of this fandom due to the way the company handles everything and the toxic fans.

As an older K-pop fan and engene, I've been shamed many times for my age (27), and even Mina was shamed for being too old to be a Ni-ki fan (26). Other than the fact that I am NOT old (if someone in their 20s is considered old, and someone who just graduated college, as in the case of Mina, is too old, then are 30+ year olds ancient mummies or something?) It's giving when a kid thinks their 32-year-old parents are the oldest people alive, because they're too immature and dumb to understand that humans live until 80 lmao

Anyway, the reason why I felt the need to write this post is that not only is ageism a real problem within K-pop itself, but it has also been spreading into the fandom culture. It's getting ridiculous how young these companies are debuting their idols. I remember when Yunah from Illit was considered almost "too old to debut" at FREAKING 19. Then we got HYBE who is obsessed with debuting 15-year-olds.

So first off, we should stop normalizing debuting minors. It's not healthy for them to be put in such toxic work environments before they can even legally drive. Ni-ki has been getting massive hate since pretty much debut, and it can't be healthy for such a young impressionable mind. Not to mention he had to spend most of his teenage years away from his parents & family. Psychologists all say how important your teenage years are for your mental development, and even though 16-year-olds might think they're already grown, no, you're still a kid with a loooot more growing to do. It's a crucial time to establish your own self-identity and to grow into a healthy-minded adult. Now imagine that part of your life being tainted with constant harassment by unhinged K-pop fans, as in the case of Ni-ki and other idols who debuted young. Let's not even talk about the stunted education many idols have to sacrifice for debuting so young. Asa apparently only graduated from kindergarten?? We joke about Ni-ki never going to school, but if you think about it, that's actually really sad and low-key child abuse.

Also, K-pop, and especially Enhypen, has never been very PG-13. Even all the way since Fever, their lyrics and concept have always been extremely suggestive and mature. Even Jungwon said they were too young. So if Enhypen thought they were too young to be performing it, what makes you think fans who are their same age or younger are not too young to be listening to it?

Singing about their bodies "burning" for their lover, singing about "bite me" (which idk if you young kids know what a love bite is, but um yeah.), and the dancers putting their hands around their necks to simulate a very popular "kink" during sex and literally singing about Bonnie & Clyde making love in Knife. Need I remind you about the BDSM inspired concept for Desire : Unleash? Not to mention how suggestive their choreo is, with their hip thrusts, lip biting and tongue licking lol

Now as a grown ass woman, I have no problem with this. Because I'm a MATURE grown ADULT. But we have 14-year-olds here shaming US for enjoying this type of entertainment? Kid you should be doing your homework, going to bed a 9pm and watching SpongeBob or something, not watching a bunch of 20+ year old men singing about "letting your body loose" and making love.

So if you're going to be consuming this type of mature content as a child (and yes, anyone under 18 is legally considered a child), then you should not be shaming adult fans who are in a much more appropriate age range to be enjoying Enhypen. Not to mention, older K-pop fans are just more mature in general, and are able to handle being a fan without it becoming a parasocial obsession (of course there are adult fans who still act immature, but generally the older you are, the more mature you get).

Shocker, I'm married!!! I have a life!!! I have a real man who adores me!! I don't actually see Enhypen as my boyfriend!! And I'm not desperate for their attention because I don't need their validation!!! Also, you do know that it is ILLEGAL for any Enhypen member to date a minor right?

Older fans are the ones who have a JOB and can afford to purchase albums and financially support their idols, not using their mom's credit card.

If K-pop fans and engenes want ENHYPEN or K-pop in general to ever become mainstream and a household name, they can't be shaming their 50-year-old parents for being a fan.

Part of the reason why I believe Engenes are as toxic as they are is how young the demographic is. Statistically, the average engene is 15-23 years old. So teenagers and college students. That's why the drama and bullying within this fandom literally sounds like a bunch of high school mean girls, because they probably actually are.

So am I writing this to shame young fans? No. I'm writing this so young fans can learn their place and stop perpetuating ageism within K-pop, which not only is absolutely ridiculous, but actually harms the very idols you love and adore. Because they feel like the moment they turn 26, they're already "expired" and are no longer valuable to the K-pop industry. I argue this is a large reason why Heeseung felt the need to leave so early to pursue his solo career. Because he's already 26 in Korean age, and by the time his contract ends, he'll be "too old" to be relevant. I find this so ironic, considering how seriously Korea takes its age hierarchy thing, and how much they're supposed to respect their elders. But I guess that doesn't apply to delusional kpop fans.

Sign, a disgruntled old fan yelling at teenagers on my front lawn

In light of the tragic news that has happened to a fellow Engene, I want to shed light on something I've been meaning to say for a long time now. That this fandom's toxicity has reached a literal fatal level. And we have to change, now.

There have already been a lot of posts covering the unfortunate incident (and my deepest condolences to Mina and her family), so I don't want to keep rehashing the same talking points that many fans have already brought up. I want to use this opportunity to share my own experience and observations in the fandom, and how I hope this can be a wake-up call to us all. Please keep in mind, I am in no way trying to make this situation about me. I want to use this very public incident to highlight the experience of many engenes, myself included, and how many of us can unfortunately relate to Mina, in hopes of initiating reforms within our fandom.

I've only been an Engene for a year and a half, and for the first year or so, it was amazing. I loved the members, and interacting with fans online was also, for the most part, enjoyable. It was great being able to share our common love and interest in Enhypen, sharing inside jokes, fangirling etc. 

MAMA 2025 came and we as a fandom collectively worked together to give our boys their daesang. I never felt so proud to be an Engene. But I guess pride comes before a fall. 

Because then Mar 10 happened. At first things weren't that bad. We rallied together and signed a 2 million signature petition, engaged in peaceful protest and shared our desire to keep the group together. For the most part, our fandom was united. I went online to trauma bond with fellow engenes, and for a while, it was supportive. 

Then things turned ugly really quickly. 

It started out with Heeseung hate posts. Then Enhypen hate posts. Posts insulting their appearances, making defamatory assumptions about their characters. Then Engenes calling each other horrible names. Engenes threatening each other to leave the fandom. Engenes threatening each other's lives. 

I joined X briefly, mostly for updates, but had to leave. I'll call it what it was. I was bullied by other engenes on there. For literally the smallest things, such as saying "I love Enhypen and hope they don't change too much", or "I liked their old logo more". It came to a point where it actually severely affected my mental health. I didn't feel safe sharing my honest thoughts and feelings as a fan to other engenes anymore. I was told I was a horrible fan and person, to leave the fandom, that I'm parasocial, and even got diagnosed with psychological disorders by randos on X. Mocked for my age (I'm similar age to Mina, so I can understand how she felt when she was called too old). Even to a point where my partner noticed and kept asking me what was wrong. I already suffer from depression, and I'm thankful I was just a nobody account on X, with zero presence; nobody knew my face or name, and I just quietly deactivated. But I couldn't imagine how much worse I would have felt if they actually DID know my name, my face, and even dug up my private information like my work history, as in the case of Mina. 

I'm sharing this to say, please stop before this happens again. Because most K-pop fans are very vulnerable people. And unfortunately, the K-pop industry preys on this. I only got into ENHYPEN because I was at such a low point in life, and they acted as an escape from my painful reality. They were my only source of happiness during a very dark period of my life. And I know many engenes can relate to this. So when they became part of that painful reality too, it felt like nothing in this world was worth living for. I'm gonna be honest, I had many thoughts of self-exiting too, from the bullying from engenes. Of course it wasn't the only reason, but it definitely played a role. Mina obviously already struggled with her mental health, which explains some of her behavior that many fans condemned. I'm not excusing her behavior; I am simply asking all of us to have more grace and compassion for others, and try to be more understanding.

So please, be kind to others. I had to leave many online fandom spaces because I noticed it started changing me into a much more sarcastic and snarky person, in order to defend myself and "survive" on there without being dog-piled on by other fans. I didn't like the person I was becoming, because I was raised to always be kind to others. To love others as myself.

I really wanted to leave the fandom, but I truly love Enhypen. I care for the boys as real people. Ni-ki feels like a little brother to me that I want to protect. I know they need our support more than ever right now. So instead of leaving, I hope I can be part of the positive change within the fandom. I know many engenes are very young, so I hope we can all take this tragic incident as a serious lesson. It's unfortunate that a life had to be lost due to all this, but I hope fans can finally realize the weight of their words and actions. And start treating others with more basic respect, dignity, and care.

Lately I've noticed most groups come out with very different sounding music every single comeback. Like they are terrified of being stuck with a certain sound. But the thing is, if a sound is working, why fix something that isn't broke? 

I know artistically, singers might want to explore more creative outlets, but marketing wise, sticking to a sound makes much more sense to appeal to a specific niche audience. If you've attracted fans with your previous songs, then you switch it up, you risk losing those fans, or you end up not building a very loyal fan base. I think NewJeans did this really well, they stuck to their sound and were killing it. TXT put their foot down and released Stick With You, which I loved. 

Especially Hybe groups nowadays seem to be chasing TikTok trends instead of establishing a musical identity. Le Sserafim's new music is so out of the left field like I can't believe they went from Perfect Night to Celebration. ILLIT's It's Me doesn't have that easy to listen to, chill, dreamy vibe I grew to love and expect. 

I think there's something special about hearing a new song on the radio and instantly being able to say "oh yeah this is totally a Stray Kids song" for example. 

I'm an Engene and even though I still enjoy Enhypen's new releases I do miss their sound from 2023-2024. A lot of engenes expressed disappointment with Knife when it first came out, but it has grown on us since. They're being really experimental and if I wasn't already such a massive fan due to their previous releases, I wouldn't be as excited for their new music. But luckily I still enjoy their music, just not as much as their older songs. 

Anyway, just my 2 cents take it or leave it lol