u/insulinworm

Hi, so me and my bf (late 20s both male), things haven't been good for a while but they are getting better we are really trying to fix things bc we both love each other

Previously in our relationship my bf stopped being interested in sex wjth me but was still being other guys (open relationship). For background our experience levels are quite different this is my first relationship but my bf has been dating since he was a teenager and he is older than me

At the time I told him this was okay, even though it hurt me, bc i felt like if I let him do whatever he wanted and tried to be the best bf that he would want me again

The longer things went on I was getting extremely depressed and insecure and this led to conflict which pushed my bf away, he wont even talk to me about sex anymore and its been like several years since this happened. Like I stopped moping I stopped ever bringing anything up I tried to just do whatever he asked of me for his comfort

My bf kept telling me if I could just "be normal" about things then he would relax and feel comfortable again but no matter what I do this hasnt happened. Ive asked him if im too much or if he thinks we're incompatible and he always assures me no this isnt true

The relationship has been closed now for over a year bc i couldn't handle it anymore and we agreed to focus on each other but this hasn't improved things at all nothings changed, my bf doesnt even talk to me about how he feels reguarding this like ever

I dont knkw. So anyway, we were gonna try couples therapy but he doesn't want to talk about our sex life at all during that. And I really dont know how to feel better. Like I feel really hurt still by things he did and him being with other guys and I dont know how to heal. I was in therapy for a few years but it didnt help, I tried 3 different therapists as well.

Has anyone had experience rebuilding trust in a relationship where the other party is very sensitive to feeling guilty or shamed? I also, my self esteem has become really low, and ive become really insecure, which is making things worse, so i feel like its just bad from all sides and idk how to move forward especially if my bf doesnt want to talk about this in therapy

Hi, so me and my bf (late 20s both male), things haven't been good for a while but they are getting better we are really trying to fix things bc we both love each other

Previously in our relationship my bf stopped being interested in sex wjth me but was still being other guys. For background our experience levels are quite different this is my first relationship but my bf has been dating since he was a teenager and is older than me

At the time I told him this was okay, even though it hurt me, bc i felt like if I let him do whatever he wanted and tried to be the best bf that he would want me again

The longer things went on I was getting extremely depressed and insecure and this led to conflict which pushed my bf away, he wont even talk to me about sex anymore and its been like several years since this happened. Like I stopped moping I stopped ever bringing anything up I tried to just do whatever he asked of me for his comfort

My bf kept telling me if I could just "be normal" about things then he would relax and feel comfortable again but no matter what I do this hasnt happened. Ive asked him if im too much or if he thinks we're incompatible and he always assures me no this isnt true

The relationship has been closed now for over a year bc i couldn't handle it anymore and we agreed to focus on each other but this hasn't improved things at all nothings changed, my bf doesnt even talk to me about how he feels reguarding this like ever

I dont knkw. So anyway, we were gonna try couples therapy but he doesn't want to talk about our sex life at all during that. And I really dont know how to feel better. Like I feel really hurt still by things he did and him being with other guys and I dont know how to heal. I was in therapy for a few years but it didnt help, I tried 3 different therapists as well.

Has anyone had experience rebuilding trust in a relationship where the other party is very sensitive to feeling guilty or shamed? I also, my self esteem has become really low, and ive become really insecure, which is making things worse, so i feel like its just bad from all sides and idk how to move forward especially if my bf doesnt want to talk about this in therapy