Life Is But A Dream
Hi and welcome to an episode of Speaking My Damn Mind Regarding Manifestation Whilst Hoping r/NevilleGoddard Mods Will Not Delete My Post.
So, recently, in the past month, been going through a very interesting (I call it "unconscious") process, that built up into a lot of and unnecessary (if you don't consider learning from it being a part of it) Drama, with a D, not a dick, but a douche. I named these "botched up manifestations", because it's a very weird process where I go numb from my creator mode and my past hurts and prejudices take over the directorial chair and cause another of the same old shit to happen in my 3D, aka causing the movie to go sideways, not according to will.
Because manifesting is the full package for me. I cause everything, the good and the bad, the desired and the undesired, and the undesired is a result of either a current lack of discipline, an unseen old imprint activating itself, remaining ignorance, or this weird state mentioned above, where I really just go numb, unconscious like, like am completely losing the faith and knowledge of conscious manifestation altogether, and fall prey to what is probably known as the "shadow", a bundle of repressed and disempowered moments that are not honouring my true beautiful soul, but are still there, on the tape, somehow, they have not been dissolved/sorted through.
I do seek to dissolve patterns. It's basically confronting ideas and breaking their prison. What I mean by this, a bit like hunting for trances of the self, when you go for the same old story you always tell yourself, the stories that "make" (a better word, maybe, "dress") you. The sum of these stories is the mind. And the mind is the projector. Why?
Because the entire 3D screen is simply an orchestrated apparition of sensations, through the five sense channels. It is even improper to call them "channels", as if they are a thing of the machine, and not a base manifestation. The machine, the dream machine, is invisible, it is not a manifestation, though it is manifestation. Meaning, it is unseen, though it renders the seen, and by rendering the seen it is itself how it is seen. And it is dumb. Meaning, that it has no conscience. It's actually not to my liking to speak of it in terms of a machine, but more like a womb. Not cold per se, but unknowing. Mr. Smith had a degree of hatred in him, the Matrix was an entity, but the machine is as if sleeping, it does not know, it renders whatever is imprinted, so if you get to hack it in your favour, you can turn Mr. Smith into Neo's loyal servant, without actually encountering any real enemy in Mr. Smith himself. Or, you can continue feeding the war and it shall continue, and with it, your idea that someone else controls the show. I get it, it is comfortable, to be ruled by an ancient AI I-thought. It is why we have tribalism, tradition, religions, nationalism and other isms.
The mind is the renderer of sensations, through the very complex and misunderstood process of memory. And am not referring here to memory of what happened yesterday or five years ago. But rendering memory. All creation follows seed blueprints. And what are all these blueprints? Stories. Ideas. Concepts. Signs of base qualities. When scientists try to find the tiniest particles "causing" the universe, they are going in the wrong direction. Because the firing up of the universe happens in this mental "space", like buttons being pressed and activated. And because they are activated, the light of Consciousness passes through them and renders them on the 3D screen, like the cinema.
The light of Consciousness is the sense I Am. Its neutral quality is to be awake (lights), its active one is to dream (camera), its passive one is to sleep (action). And now you are probably asking, "but what does sleep have to do with action?", so, I will evoke the cinema, again. The actors in the movie aren't even there when we watch the movie, yet all action takes place - not on the screen, but in us. In the same way, going through life is a bit like watching a movie of what the movie crew created at a previous time. The camera made sure to catch everything, according to the Director and its degree of imaginative openness, building up an entire dreamed map made of signs. These signs enter the mind of the audience and start pushing and pulling files and folders and buttons and all this paraphernalia of memory, and there you have it: raw emotion and heartfelt understanding, caused by nothing but shadows on a wall.
... But getting back, cause I lost the flow...
Okay, so, the "botched up manifestations" caused by unconscious thought.
How they happen: Something new comes into my life, but I tend to respond to it in an old pattern. Next thing you know, I am already having inner conversations about it and slowly imprison myself into a same kind of situation I swore many times I will not let myself fall in. This event that I am speaking of took off in about a month and a half, leading to a full-on traumatic manifestation, that shook me and pushed me to fight it even after passing, and keeping the wound open, and ruminating over it. It took two, three days of intense negativity to finally get myself out of this victim seeking revenge mode. Now that I look back, I am starting to see the trace of shit I left behind and how much it resembles the movie I saw on the wall. And how much I could have avoided, if only I would have set a new tone, a new direction of thought and perspective. This is the learning curve. Where I go over, again and again, the numbing moment in which I believe my own shit and continue it, by acting on it, with word, thought, feeling. I go over, practicing, strengthening, realising more and more, that whatever I think is not reality and does not have a base in reality, but in a 3D world caused by my past mental activities. And that if only I can wake up in that moment and subtract the belief in it, whilst introducing a new version of "reality", I can then change the architecture, thus the flow of events.