u/issawumpalumpabx

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. Im 29 and he is 27y.
During the first month, we had a fairly active sex life, but since then things have slowed down dramatically. We only had sex twice in our second month together, and now it’s been over a month without any sexual intimacy.
We both still live with our parents, and he doesn’t like having sex in the car or anywhere without privacy. I respect that boundary. He also experienced an unplanned pregnancy in a previous relationship despite the odds being very low, which ended in an abortion, so I sometimes wonder whether that experience affects how he views sex.
He says his lower libido isn’t about me and that if he didn’t want to be with me, he wouldn’t be in the relationship. The problem is that I don’t just miss sex itself—I miss feeling desired.
He rarely initiates intimacy, rarely compliments me, and seems much less affected by the lack of physical intimacy than I am. For me, physical affection and sexual intimacy are important parts of feeling connected to my partner.
I’ve communicated this several times. He’s listened, apologized, and reassured me that it isn’t about a lack of attraction, but the situation hasn’t really changed.
I care about him a lot and I don’t want him to feel pressured into sex. At the same time, I’m struggling with feeling unwanted and like I’m the only one who misses that part of the relationship.
How can we navigate this difference in intimacy needs in a healthy way without either of us feeling rejected, pressured, or resentful?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. Our sex life went from frequent in the beginning to no sex for over a month. He says it isn’t about me, but I’m struggling to feel desired. How can we navigate this difference in intimacy needs?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for three months, and I’m struggling with a mismatch in intimacy needs.
We genuinely care about each other, and he says he’s falling in love with me, but our sex life has changed significantly since the beginning of the relationship.
During the first month, we had sex much more frequently. However, over time, it has dropped off considerably. In our second month together, we only had sex twice, and now it’s been over a month without any sexual intimacy.
One factor is that we both still live with our parents, and he doesn’t feel comfortable having sex in the car or in places without privacy. I understand and respect that boundary.
Another important piece of context is that, in a previous relationship, he experienced an unplanned pregnancy despite the odds of it happening being very low, and his ex-partner ultimately had an abortion. I wonder if that experience may have affected how he views sex, intimacy, or the possibility of something going wrong, even when using protection.
He says his lower sex drive isn’t about me and that he simply doesn’t have the same level of desire as I do. He also says that if he didn’t want to be with me, he wouldn’t be.
The problem is that I don’t just miss sex itself… I miss feeling desired.
He rarely initiates intimacy, rarely compliments me, and often seems perfectly fine going long periods without seeing each other or being physically close. Meanwhile, I need physical affection and sexual intimacy to feel connected in a relationship.
I’ve tried communicating this several times. He listens, apologizes, and says he doesn’t want me to feel this way, but nothing really changes.
I know I have insecurities from a previous long-term relationship that ended unexpectedly, so I sometimes wonder if I’m projecting old fears onto this situation.
At the same time, I can’t ignore that I feel unwanted, unattractive, and like I’m always the one asking for more closeness.
Am I expecting too much for a relationship that’s only three months old, or is this an early sign that we’re fundamentally incompatible?

Acho que o título diz tudo 😂
Mas algum contexto: namoramos há 4 meses, começamos super bem, super íntimos, com vontade, tesao e desejo… contudo, um mês após termos começado a namorar ele começou a procurar-me menos, não tem iniciativa, se fizermos sou eu que começo… já falamos sobre o assunto mas agora só nos envolvemos 1x por mês HÁ TRÊS MESES… eu a ficar muito frustrada, não me sinto desejada, não me sinto vista, procurada… enfim
Sei que há um ano ou mais ele engravidou uma rapariga que supostamente era impossível engravidar, ela abortou e acho que isso mexeu um pouco com ele mas mesmo depois de falarmos não sinto que haja nenhuma mudança. As vezes parecemos mais amigos, do que namorados.