In love with a Pisces.. but ..
I've been in an a relationship with a Pisces man (46M) for almost four years, and I genuinely don't know if this is typical Pisces behavior or just him.
We were each other's first love as teenagers and reconnected years later. Everything started out beautifully. He was the one pursuing me, wanting commitment, talking about the future, introducing me to his family, and our families met as well. We were very close to getting engaged.
Then, over time, things slowly changed.
About two years ago, he started saying he felt "lost," emotionally numb, overwhelmed, and just distant. He never stopped loving me, but he gradually withdrew. There wasn't another woman, there wasn't cheating, and there wasn't one huge event that caused it. He simply kept saying he didn't have the emotional capacity anymore.
Last year, he traveled abroad to wander about alone for almost two months. Even his friends didnt know anything about him. Even while he was away, he still contacted me. We exchanged voice notes, had several long phone calls, and he would randomly tell me he missed me. But he also kept disappearing into himself.
When he came back, things became even more confusing. Distant.
On his birthday, I finally asked him directly whether I should move on. His exact words were, "Move on."
That completely shattered me.
I sent him a message accepting what I thought was the end of our relationship.
About twenty minutes later, he called me.
During that call he told me..
"I love you."
"I'm lost."
"I can't be in a relationship right now."
"I've been trying for two years."
"Don't take everything from me.. i dont know what im saying."
We stopped contact for 10 days.
Then he reached out, he called asking me to come see him because he wanted a hug.
We met.
He hugged me tightly, kissed me, and again told me he loved me very much... but that he still couldn't be in a relationship.
Then he asked if we could just be friends for now.
I told him I couldn't do that because friends don't have the history we have, and I couldn't pretend my feelings had disappeared.
Since then, something strange has happened.
I have completely stopped initiating contact.
I never text first. I never call first. I don't chase.
Yet every few days then daily, he reaches out.
Sometimes it's a phone call. Sometimes it's a meme. Sometimes it's an Instagram reel. Sometimes it's just to ask how I am. Just connecting at every level. Texting my mom.
Whenever we do speak, he says things like:
"I love you."
"I miss you."
"You're special."
"Nobody makes me feel the way you do."
"When I'm with you, I feel relieved."
"I don't want to lose you."
At one point I asked him if what he really wanted was all the closeness of a relationship without the responsibility of one.
He paused... and admitted yes.
He knew it wasn't fair. He said it.
My boundary has stayed exactly the same.
I told him it's either everything or nothing. I won't be his girlfriend without commitment, and I won't be "just friends" while we're still emotionally attached. I also told him I won't wait forever, and I won't keep chasing someone who has already said they can't give me a relationship.
So now we're in this strange place.
He continues reaching out. He continues telling me he loves me. He continues saying he misses me. He continues wanting me in his life.
But he still says he can't be in a relationship now.
I genuinely don't understand it.
For those of you who know Pisces men well, does this sound familiar? Is this fear, emotional burnout, avoidance, depression, or simply someone who loves you but isn't willing or able to choose the relationship?
I'd really appreciate honest opinions from people who've experienced something similar.
I love him wity every fiber in me. But I can walk away. I just dont want to abandon him when he himself doesnt understand whats happening within himself.
Any input would be highly appreciated..