u/jacintapede

TW: suicide
p.s. i have also posted this in r/pigeon so please let me know if i’m not allowed to post the same text in two channels.

i am a die-hard animal lover. i want to dedicate my life to them (becoming a zoologist) but right now im going through a really rough patch. this "rough patch" has been a challenge for majority of my life it's been 9-10 years i've been struggling with depression and suicide, and i've ended up in hospital 4 times in the last year and i haven't really-healed. in fact, i'm getting worse. i no longer have a best friend and kind of really hate myself. i don't feel like i have anything to live for anymore and everything feels really draining. my family is also really struggling right now. over the last 4 or 5 months i have been researching a emotional support animal/anti-suicide pet and i think keeping a pigeon i would be solely responsible for could be really beneficial for me. not only have i done hours of research, but i have also been trying to step up at home to earn some money to save up for this pigeon. i am currently too young to get a job but i have saved up $155 out of the $310 i need to cover the pigeon itself and its setup. the problem is my mum. my dad is relatively on board, except he doesn't really like caged birds. i understand this, but pigeons have been domesticated for 5,000-10,000 years and this pigeon would be out in my room while i'm home after school. i want to take sole responsibility for this pigeon but my mum refuses to discuss getting one. she says she "can't deal with a bird in the house". she has no other rebuttal, since i have come up with a solution for everything else (money, housing, cleaning, responsibilities etc). for a little bit of context we already have a dog and a cat that i love so dearly, but they're more family animals and i know that they would be fine without me. this pigeon would also live in my room until i can harness train, recall train and pigeon pant train since i don't want poop around the house and i, of course, need to be cautious with my cat and dog. we have been in this fight for a little while now, but i can't remember much since i have really bad memory issues from this depression. but does anyone have any advice? should i give up hope? what are your thoughts?
thank you

i am a die-hard animal lover. i want to dedicate my life to them (becoming a zoologist) but right now im going through a really rough patch. this "rough patch" has been a challenge for majority of my life it's been 9-10 years i've been struggling with depression and suicide, and i've ended up in hospital 4 times in the last year and i haven't really-healed. in fact, i'm getting worse. i no longer have a best friend and kind of really hate myself. i don't feel like i have anything to live for anymore and everything feels really draining. my family is also really struggling right now. over the last 4 or 5 months i have been researching a emotional support animal/anti-suicide pet and i think keeping a pigeon i would be solely responsible for could be really beneficial for me. not only have i done hours of research, but i have also been trying to step up at home to earn some money to save up for this pigeon. i am currently too young to get a job but i have saved up $155 out of the $310 i need to cover the pigeon itself and its setup. the problem is my mum. my dad is relatively on board, except he doesn't really like caged birds. i understand this, but pigeons have been domesticated for 5,000-10,000 years and this pigeon would be out in my room while i'm home after school. i want to take sole responsibility for this pigeon but my mum refuses to discuss getting one. she says she "can't deal with a bird in the house". she has no other rebuttal, since i have come up with a solution for everything else (money, housing, cleaning, responsibilities etc). for a little bit of context we already have a dog and a cat that i love so dearly, but they're more family animals and i know that they would be fine without me. this pigeon would also live in my room until i can harness train, recall train and pigeon pant train since i don't want poop around the house and i, of course, need to be cautious with my cat and dog. we have been in this fight for a little while now, but i can't remember much since i have really bad memory issues from this depression. but does anyone have any advice? should i give up hope? what are your thoughts?
thank you