AITAH for firing my pet sitter because she kept saying she’s stressed?
I recently moved and needed to get a new sitter. I found a neighbor that was happy to cat sit. We got along well and I walked her through everything too. She said it all sounds great. My cat has cancer and I made sure she was ok with the medication regimen as well. I have a detailed print out that all sitters I’ve worked with reference. My partner and I went over to her apartment day before I left to hand her my key and she invited us in and gave us wine and snacks. We ended up meeting her son and had a nice chat. It felt a little weird because I only intended to drop off the key but thought she was a nice old lady.
First day she was supposed to drop by, I texted her to make sure her feeder was filled because my app said it wasn’t. She called me saying she is confused and that she just directly gave my cat 3 meals instead of putting it in the feeder. I said no worries and she filled the feeder from that point on.
A few days went around and my cat’s chemo day came up. I texted her to remind her about her chemo, and she said she’s confused. She thought the chemo was her steroids. I told her the chemo is in the fridge. She said she’ll go back, but when I asked if she was able to find it she didn’t reply. So I called her and she video called me saying it’s not in the freezer and she can’t find it. I told her it’s in the fridge and she found it. But from then, she got upset. She said:
“You’re really stressing me out. I’m retired, I don’t want to stress out. I don’t do this for the money, I do it for the cats. I am really stressed and you make me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Can you find another sitter? I’m a really anxious person and this doesn’t make me feel good. I’m so anxious that I saw your flowers dying and I watered it. Also I brought you cheese that you liked and put it in your fridge. Can I take your trash out? This is just who I am, I like to do things for people”.
When I said I can find another sitter, she said “I know they won’t be good though.” When I said “you don’t have to water the plants or take the trash out” she just kept saying she is a giver.
I texted her afterwards that she doesn’t have to drop by anymore because we’ll come back early the next day and I don’t want her to stress anymore. She said she’s not stressed anymore and she can keep coming. I said I insist she doesn’t.
We came back and I sent my boyfriend to pay her and get our key back. From what he told me, she immediately said “your girlfriend is a really stressful one”. He was stunned and just apologized for the way things ended up and let her know we found someone else for the next trip. She then said things like “I thought we would be good friends, my son also really liked you guys but I don’t see that happening anymore. I’m really disappointed in the way I was treated. I don’t understand.” My partner did his best to end the conversation and leave. Her last words were “you’re being distant. Why are you being weird? Fine, leave.”
I’m really shocked about how this ended up. I was upfront about her condition and needs and the instructions aren’t difficult. Many sitters I worked with on Rover never had issues administering or understanding the responsibilities. She wasn’t underpaid either, she set her own rate at $20/visit (her visits were 10-15min).
I will say I texted her a lot but that was mainly because this is my first time with her and she did not update me some days unless I reached out first. I also just wanted to make sure she was becoming familiar with the medication regimen, but normally for other sitters I didn’t have to because they gave me lots of pictures and confirmations of everything. I wonder if I was being very micromanaging but it’s really important my cat gets her medication to continue her cancer treatment. So I wasn’t going to take any chances and wanted confirmation she was getting her meds, and if I had never reached out or called to double check she wouldn’t have gotten the right meds.
I wonder if I pushed too hard. Or if I’m being too harsh. I know taking care of a sick cat isn’t easy. Was I being the asshole, with the way I reached out to her, or for firing her? It was never accusatory more of “Hey just want to remind you today is her chemo day, please make sure to return it to the fridge because it has to stay cool.” I decided to find someone else because I don’t want her to be so stressed out and it also made me worry about her reliability.