u/jelly______fish

I’ve (f/20) never watched „never have I ever“ because I couldn’t understand how Devi can like 2 men and date them w/o them knowing of the other person.
I thought it was absurd and she was a bad person! ( idk the circumstances tho since I have not watched it)

Well…2 weeks ago I started texting a guy (lets call him Ben/22) my friend introduced me to (he lives further away so we only text). He‘s really smart and a committed guy with whom I can talk on the phone for several hours without being exhausted at the end of it. I dont want to lose hin because he is some one I could see myself in a serious relationship with and how often does that happen? But I’m also not sure I want to be in a serious relationship

1 week ago I coincidently met my failed hinge date (lets call him Paxton/21) who prior to this ignored my messages for 1,5 months. He is a bit of an AH because he told me he doesn’t want a serious relationship nor a f buddy and on the second ‚date‘ as ‚friends’ we got intimate and theeen he didn’t text me.
He explained that he didn’t want to hurt my feeling by continuing to go on dates as his brain cant comprehend that me being emotionally sensitive doesn’t mean I will fall in love with him and somehow he didn’t understand that telling me his thoughts hurts less than not saying anything.

Other then his missing comprehensions skills, he’s a good guy. We would be just good friends but unfortunately the sexual tension between us is too big.
Basically, we settled on being friends with benefits (we haven’t had sex yet) but he also told me to keep my mind open for Ben since he seems like a good guy for me.
Paxton can be considerate as a friend! He’s attracted to me but wants the best for me as a friend.

I like them both and have no idea what to do because I don‘t want to two time.
The thing I tell myself to make me feel better is that I’m not actually dating Ben although there is potential for a romantic relationship.

A proper guy with a bright future who lives further away vs. a guy I‘m irrationally attracted to and is available to ‚use‘ iykwim most of the time since we live close to each other.
I’m attracted to literal opposites and can’t tell my friends because they hate Paxton so I lied by saying I have no contact with him but I need to get this off my chest and there is no better place than reddit to do so.

I’m a virgin who never been in a relationship btw. I wasn’t popular in school so I think I also like to feel desired by 2 men and I know that is absurd and I’m a bad person…

Love the podcast btw
Sorry for any mistakes I‘m not a native English speaker

I’m (20/f) in a trio friend group with Trina (21/f) and Beck (21/m) (fake names) since the beginning of college (about 7 months). We immediately became friends and are platonic soulmates. (Of course they and I have other friends.)

2 weeks ago I introduced someone (lets call her Tory (20/f)) who was new to college to Trina and Beck. I wanted to be nice since she knew no one and she seemed like a really nice person.

We all spent the day together and it was fun but she‘s not the type of woman that ‚fits in our trio‘. I cant explain that well but it’s just that feeling that I couldn’t trust her and hold a genuine conversation with her w/o feeling like an idiot afterwards because I’m weird and have anxiety.

I was really sick for some days and stayed home…surprisingly, when I came back, Beck, Tory and Trina seemed to have gotten close. Especially Beck.

Whenever we (me+trina+beck) want to do something together he says that Tory will join us w/o asking us first if we’re fine with that. When we are together Beck only talks with Tory and Trina and I talk. This is why it’s been a while since I had a real conversation with Beck.

After such a meeting, Trina and I had to catch the bus while Beck and Tory stayed behind.

I asked her how she feels about Tory and she answered that she was nice and funny. I felt like Trina wasn’t telling the whole truth so I told her that I don’t like how close Beck and Tory have become. As soon as I said so, she told me how she doesn’t see a deep friendship with her and that she also doesn’t like how often Beck and Tory are together.

We’re both jealous and anxious that Beck wants Tory to join our „trio“ or worse, we would stop being friend with him. I felt relieved that I wasn’t the only one but at the same time this made my/our concern more realistic.

We both feel stupid because of our jealousy because we don’t want to habe a weird atmosphere between us and also with Tory. He should be able to have friends outside of the trio but it feels different with Tory (not romantically btw he has a girlfriend and they are lovely together). What are we even supposed to say to him? „Don’t be friends with her because we are jealous.“ is dumb because rationally speaking we can’t suddenly cut her off and I genuinely like Tory as a (good) friend.