u/jennie0825

You will thank every version of yourself in the past for having the courage to keep going when all the darkness around you almost won and took you. You are loved today, way more than you thought you deserve to be loved. Thank you for giving this present moment a fighting chance.

Yours Truly,

Your 32y/o Happier Self

P.S. I saw my FB posts from 6 years ago showing how depressed and su*cidal I was.

Hello po! I will do my best to answer all questions pero baka ma-late lang kasi matutulog narin ako in a few hours. Sagutin ko po pag gising ko if ever. As I celebrate my 32nd birthday, napa-reflect lang ako today and I just realized na ang colorful pala ng journey ko. Share ko po yung timeline ha:

2010 - graduated Valedictorian from High School. I was bullied back then kasi nobody expected me to be the valedictorian. I spent years trying to recover from that, and I remember I became anti-social for years because of the trauma.
2010 - spent 6 months in Singapore, I was supposed to continue yung pag-aaral ko duon, pero hindi natuloy.
2010 - got back sa Philippines and enrolled in La Salle to take a bachelor's degree in Accounting.
2012 - my last romantic relationship ended. I was single from then on.
2012 - first manic episode happened, misdiagnosed with depression, but later correctly diagnosed as Bipolar. I was in 2nd year in the University that time, I had to stop for 1 whole semester to recover and that led to my 1 year delay sa kurso ko.
2015 - second manic episode. This was the time I was correctly diagnosed as Bipolar. I also attempted sui**** at that time. But thanks to that attempt, I was introduced sa gamot na Lithium which pulled me out of depression. May iba pa akong mga gamot na tinetake at the same time, pero isa lang muna babanggitin ko. During this time, I realized the severity of my mental illness....and I knew that my path is not going to be the traditional path just like everybody else. I asked my psychiatrist back then...."May chance pa ba akong maging CPA kung may ganito akong sakit?" and without a doubt she said "Yes". If she had said "no" that time, for sure I would have quitted pursuing accountancy.
2016 - graduated. Nag-review ako for board sa RESA. Passed both the CPA and CMA examinations during October. And got hired sa Top Auditing Firm. But then dahil inaalala ko yung mental illness ko kaya hindi ko pinasok ang Assurance, napunta ako sa Advisory - which is sa IT Audit.
2016-2019 - worked sa firm for 2.5 years while actively doing mental health blogging efforts fighting against the stigma. During this time din, strong ang atheism belief ko. I was an atheist for 5+ years because I could not reconcile my faith with my mental illness. I was very vocal about it and sobrang ingay ko sa social media.
2018 - my 3rd and most recent Manic Episode. I had to take a break for one whole month sa firm because of this. And ate gurl during one bad day napa-barangay ako sa Makati kasi wala na ako sa sarili. Nakakahiya talaga!
2019 - I quit my corporate job because I was lost...mentally. Like I wanted to explore other career options. During this time din that I was featured in national TV because of my blogging efforts.
2019 - I asked my psychiatrist na isa nalang ang gusto kong maging maintenance medicine ko, which is Olanzapine - an anti psychotic that helps me sleep. Since then, ito nalang ang iniinom ko.
2020 - I was heavily depressed and suicidal nung taong to. I swear kung dapuan ako ng COVID that time, di na ako lalaban. Take me nalang. Haha.
2021 - Started my VA/WFH career as a Digital Marketing Specialist specializing in the Real Estate Industry. Got hired by a Canadian Real Estate Marketing Agency.
2021-2025 - Spent 4 years with the Canadian Agency. Started earning 8000php per month, but umabot sa 6-digits ang monthly income ko during my last 2 years with them. During around this time din when I went back to my Faith. My faith now is more of a hybrid, kasi combination sya ng lahat ng experiences ko before.
2025 of April - I resigned due to a bad onset of depression. I know then that I would have to rebuild my career from scratch.
January 2026 - I finally admitted that I'm asexual (ace) and realized that I've been in the wrong dating space for a whole decade. I joined the ace community in reddit and met my now fiancé here. For the longest time I felt rejected and unwanted because of my mental illness, but when I posted my dating profile sa ace community, it was the first time I was able to paint my mental illness in a positive light. People said na buuin mo muna ang sarili mo before you enter a relationship, and that's what I did for 10+ years. I made myself strong and independent. But I realized eventually na....kahit kelan hindi naman ako magiging buo. Because my life is a constant cycle of breaking and rebuilding. And this healing journey of mine is a lifetime process. So kung hihintayin kong buo na ako bago makipagrelasyon...then I'll probably end up single my whole life. Haha!
May 2026 - Finally started my freelancing business as a Real Estate Digital Marketer. This career shift, from a traditional employee to a service-based business owner, I didn't really expect this cause like nasanay na ako sa traditional setup. Pero when my partner proposed, I realized na gusto ko na ng career na hindi ako matatali ng 10-16 hours in front of my computer. I've only started at marami pang uncertainties....pero now I am able to work for just 2-4 hours every day and yet I can already cover my living expenses. I am no way near my previous job's salary, pero the time freedom and flexibility are enough tradeoff for me.

By the way...sorry pala sa any grammatical errors ha. Hindi ko to pina-check kay GPT. Haha! Thank you, sana madami akong makausap. Mejo uhaw sa social interactions si ante gurl nyo.

This coming October, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of passing the CPA board exam. And 8th AnniverSanity (8 years since my last manic episode).

I'm in no way successful yet. But when I met my fiancé, time has finally slowed down, and I felt like my life has finally begun. And ang ganda din ng start ng business ko, kasi like I got my first client just 1 week after I started doing my outreach. And I keep getting more kahit wala na akong outreach na ginagawa. Yung totoo lang....feeling ko Harvest Season na ng buhay ko. And isa lang ang paulit ulit kong nababanggit sa prayers ko for the past 6 months: "Thank You".