so this guy at work keeps roasting my fresh fade. today he said it looks like the surprised pikachu meme. i said i know you are but what am i and everyone laughed at me. need something that actually lands. help me out.
my brother has been dating this girl for like 8 months. she basically lives at our place already. i told him if shes gonna stay over 5 nights a week she needs to start paying a third of the bills. he got mad and said im being greedy and shes not a tenant. i said fine then she can sleep at her own place half the week. now hes not talking to me. the rent is 1500 and utilities are like 200 a month. she uses the shower and kitchen too. am i wrong here
so this guy at work has a desk job like me but he stands at his desk all day and now he thinks hes superior. every time he walks past me he says something like must be nice to sit all day or you sure are comfy back there. i dont want to start a fight but i need something quick that shuts him up without getting hr involved. any ideas that are funny but not mean?