u/jessmaex14

AITA for being put off by my girlfriend's hygiene and cleanliness?

I'm 21F and my now-ex is 19F. This was my first proper relationship. We were together for around six months and were long distance, so she usually stayed at my house because it was more convenient with my work.

The first time she stayed at mine, there was a noticeable unpleasant smell after she arrived. Both my parents noticed it too, but none of us knew where it was coming from, so I didn't assume it was her at the time.

Things changed when we went away together for five days during a heatwave. I stayed at her house the night before we left and it was the first time I'd properly seen how she lived.

She had 3 dogs and 6 cats and there were thick layers of hair around the house. I have a dog myself so I'm used to pet hair, but this was excessive. There was dust covering surfaces, her fan had thick clumps of dust on it and the bedding didn't feel clean.

There were also 3 used litter trays in the hallway and another 2 in the bathroom, with pee and poo still in them. The smell was so bad that I was holding my nose and gagging while brushing my teeth.

Then we went away for five days. It was extremely hot and we were out travelling and getting sweaty. I showered twice a day because of the heat. She didn't shower or wash herself once during the entire trip, despite us sharing a bed.

She also didn't brush her teeth every day and would vape while lying in bed next to me. I don't vape and we didn't have the windows open, only a dusty fan running.

I never told her she smelled or that she needed to shower because I didn't know how to say something like that without humiliating her.

By the end of the holiday, though, I was extremely put off and didn't want to be physically close to her. My attraction to her had pretty much disappeared. On day 3 she texted me while sitting next to me saying that she loved me, and my heart sank because I knew I wasn't there emotionally. The hygiene situation was pushing me further away.

By day 5 I'd had enough and said I was homesick and wanted to go home.

We've since broken up for several reasons, so I'm not asking whether I should leave her. I'm just wondering whether I was being overly judgemental.

I don't expect everyone's house to be spotless, especially with pets, and I'm not saying everyone needs to shower twice a day because I did. But five days without washing during a heatwave, not brushing her teeth every day, vaping in our shared bed and the condition of her house completely killed my attraction.

AITA for being so put off by it?