u/jjjongyeri

i don’t know if it’s already been said here but i need to know this is not some underlying mental illness…but does anyone else feel this overwhelming sadness when thinking about what people have said to you like over a decade ago? i mean i do this about things people have said in the present but surely people don’t think about the little things that happened 10 years ago? i just randomly thought about what some people said to me that was just mean and some things that i might have said that was a bit embarrassing but my classmates at the time were being assholes about it. one of my friends is even mentioned the embarrassing moment once a couple of years back and she was laughing about it but i didn’t really find it funny…and i just feel sad idk. and this ALWAYS happens. like i can never forget all the times people were rude or snarky towards me? i can never forget it like most of my childhood. but as soon as i feel this overwhelming sadness i’m just back to normal in like 2 minutes even though it’s still there. i wish i could get a lobotomy idk

i have a confession to make. for over a year i have been lying to my endocrinologist. i’ve been telling her that i’ve been taking medication during my appointments and every single time i did a blood tests my thyroid functions came back as normal and that made them think that i’ve actually been taking my medication daily as required so much that they reduced my dosage of 20mg to 5mg.

but i haven’t been taking my medication. i’m just really bad at taking pills for the life of me i just have poor adherence and because i never take them i don’t have the habit of remembering to take them. i’ve been living like i don’t have GD up until the appointment i have every 6 months.

i know it’s bad but i’m not ready to tell my endocrinologist i’m a bit embarrassed tbh also confused because after years of having GD why has my thyroid only come under control now? when i wasnt even taking the medication. i still don’t understand the condition i have.