I used to draw porn and I feel guilty for that
Hi, I am 15 right now. I was 12 years old when I first started drawing stuff like that. I was a fan of a Turkish TV series related to mafia and I was drawing pornographic art of the characters here. Remind you that they were real people and they're still alive today. As time passed I drew more and more inappropriate content, especially to entertain my friends who was as much problematic as me at the time. After some time I started liking animated series and drew NSFW of the characters here. Now you guys probably gonna say "Oh maybe you kept those drawings between you and your friends?" I WAS POSTING THEM ONLINE. ON THIS APP. I swear to god I want to get strangled to fucking death everytime I remember those stuff. I remember myself drawing NSFW artworks of characters related to an indie animation series related to bugs, despite the creator clearing it out that he doesn't likes people making inappropriate artwork of his characters.
I had two discord servers for my fans on TikTok, the first one lasted July-December 2023, the second one lasted January-May 2024. I had a channel where I posted my NSFW artworks and my fans were liking it, some of them were even getting inspired to make NSFW art from seeing me doing it. I was posting these stuff on an old Reddit account, the account is now deleted. The worst part is; the account's nickname was almost identical to another Reddit account where I was posting football artwork in a formal way, meaning someone could search my username and if they wrote it a little wrong, they could find that account; or maybe that already happened and I will never know. I feel so fucking ashamed of myself oh my god.. but no it doesn't stops THERE;
On that formal account, I was just getting popular on the Turkish football subreddits and I drew two NSFW artwork related to Hellaverse and posted them on the NSFW subreddits related to Hellaverse. Well when you are popular on Reddit, people tend to look on your profile and read your posts more often, especially at the time I was an unique user, which made me draw more attention, and.. oh my god JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK PEOPLE SAW THOSE ARTWORKS. I was supposed to draw football and fun artworks of indie characters, NOT FUCKING IMP AND FURRY PORN. Some people confronted me for those artworks and especially mentioned my young age, and I felt guilt.
As time passed I felt more embarrassed and ashamed for those artworks and after getting advice and actually learning how those artworks might get me and my parents, perhaps family, in trouble, I removed them from my social medias and kept them between me and my closest ones, the ones I 100% make sure they will not share it with anyone. During those years I never drew NSFW of an underage character, but it's still obnoxious.
I still carry the guilt and shame to this day. Please don't be stupid as much as me.