u/jordileo2003

I hate to hear you laughing and giggling with someone else, I hate to see you being happy with him, I hate that I couldnt make you that happy, to be honest I dont want you to be happy unless you are with me, I wish the worst for you when you are distant to me, and I know how fucked up it is.

My attraction for you is dead, my desires of you are fading away, and I feel more in control of myself, I wanted to be free from you and its going well and yet I cant seem to accept that you would be much happier with someone else. I wish you cared more, I wish you really wanted this work but every moment that you chose to not come to me is proof that you never really cared about me, you never wanted anything real with me, perhaps my loneliness was convenient for you, and your boredom was the opportunity I was looking for, I dont think you played with my feelings I just think my interest for you was satisfying for you.

Ive suffered enough for you, I tried my best, I strived for something beautiful and in my loss I learned more about myself. This child deserves to be loved, to be wanted and accepted, now I know you are not for me because you cant love this kid, you are too serious, too cold, you wanna feel in control and your own freedom, you pretend to be more mature and smarter than anyone else and yet you wear a collar and a leash as long as they sell you the illusion of control and freedom.

I guess we all have our weaknesses, and I dont judge you for them, im not going to be controlled if anyone tries to sell me the illusion of friends and a home, I wasnt meant to fit in, let alone have friends, but id rather die than to have something fake.

2011 camry, had the compressor replaced less than 10 months ago, ac was working fine until temperatures hit the 90s, ac was barely giving me cold air so I decided to empty a 14oz of r134 with stop leak and now the ac doesnt work at daytime.

My engine at idle without the ac on hovers around 800rpms but when I turn the ac on it revs up to 1100 for a few seconds and comes back down over and over unless I turn the ac off. On hot days I get no cold air but at night I get plenty of cold air. I might even get a little cool air if im in the shade on a hot day.

My engine doesnt rev up and down at night with the ac on. Is there something I can do before I go to a shop?

I dont feel anything for you, i dont want you in any way, I no longer wait to see you or expect you to even say hi, I've gotten used to your absence and your silence, it feels great to not worry about you, it feels good to not have you inside my head and yet I still yearn for someone like you.

I want someone like you, as pretty, and as captivating like you, I yearn to be with someone, anyone that can help me deal with this loneliness, I am so lonely that I actively seek to be part of something, I started to help around more in my job just so that I wont have a moment to feel this hunger for companionship, I started going out more often just so that I wont be alone for a while, and yet I cant seem to find a place where I belong.

It'd be nice if you would feel as terrible as I do, it would feel good to know that my absence and distance hurts you as much as it hurts me to not have anyone to be in love with. I want you to want me and you want me to not want you, I acted like a child when I was in love with you, and you did not love that child so therefore I cant love you.

You helped me understand myself a little better, even my worst parts are still a bit better than yours, I dont resent you, and I dont hate you, I just wish things were different