unhealthy coping mechanism. perhaps
every time for the past like 15 years, whenever i've felt increasingly suicidal, i've: put on my makeup. styled my hair. picked out a gorgeous outfit. worn my high heels. and i look at myself in the mirror, and say to myself: you're too cute to die.
and it fucking works. it's always worked.
ain't it sad? idk. i mean, i'm still alive. so that's something, i guess. maybe it's just a symptomatic coping mechanism of our post post post modern society. it's such an outdated cliché being a sadgirl, i know. but what am i to do.
i don't think i'm an especially good or gifted person. i am cute though. if the rule that you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule? i mean, as i said, i am still alive after all.
so even if it is trashy, it's somewhat useful, i suppose. i guess that pretty much sums it up. idk man